How do I lighten up?

[lady00]

I am so tightly wound (in case anyone who has seen my post hasn't noticed LOL). Seriously, my family has been telling me this for years but I just can't seem to change it. I want to be able to loosen up a bit. Anyone have this problem? How do you relax a bit more about things and not get so worried and take everything so seriously? I know this may sound crazy, but I really don't know how! Any thoughts?

[alli]

Think about the worse thing that would probably happen & accept that it isn't THAT horrible. For instance, traffic jams (ok, I'll be 10 minutes late, it's not that bad). Do you have kids? Sometimes they're running wild & making a mess (think ok, 10 minutes of vaccuuming & problem solved). Do you have any specific examples of situations you wish you could "lighten up" about?

 

Another thing, remember that stressing about it doesn't make the problem go away! Just take things as they come.

[Batya33]

exactly - "prioritize your panic" so that it gives you perspective on what is panicking you - make a list of all those panic stricken or stressful situations -really helps you lighten up

[lady00]

Batya and Alli, these are great suggestions. Thanks so much. I will try them out. Alli, I think you are right that part of this is changing the way I am thinking about the consequences of things will help alleviate the stress. And you're right Batya--prioritizing is probably a good idea. It usually helps me with all sorts of things to write them down so I will try making a list like the one you suggest.

[chigal28]

I have the exact same problem as you, but what I've come to realize is that by worrying so much about things I can't control, I exhaust myself and waste energy that I could be using productively--to do the best I can at work, to enjoy my relationships, to just enjoy each day.

 

So when I catch myself worrying, I actively talk myself out of it by reminding myself of that, and it's actually really helped. Obsessive thoughts are so easy to fall into, and tough to fight, but like any bad habit, they can be unlearned!

[chigal28]

Instead of worrying, I assess where I can take action, or make a situation better, and focus on that. Anything I can't control, I try to actively put out of my mind. I also do a LOT--and I mean a LOT--of deep breathing and refocusing throughout the day.

 

I try to remember that the important thing is just to do your best and enjoy each day--NOT to be perfect.