exploding head Posted November 15, 2008 Author Share Posted November 15, 2008 why am I going to get more pain? Link to comment
ruffles Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 Nope.........only more pain. Maybe he'll get more pain, but sometimes that's what we need in order to move on. That's why breaking NC isn't actually a BAD thing, because by breaking it and feeling hurt and let down once again we are given another shove toward healing. It feels rotten at first, but getting back on track toward letting go comes a little quicker each time we break it. I think sometimes when we have that absolute burning desire to make contact (and I don't mean when we first attempt NC, I mean weeks/months into it) we should go ahead and do it, because that burning obsession going back and forth in your head about should I break it/shouldn't I is really just a distraction from moving forward. Regardless, I hope she doesn't completely ignore you. But if so, move forward. Her looking at your myspace could be a habit and might not mean much more. Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 16, 2008 Author Share Posted November 16, 2008 she responded.... I want to know how your family is doing, and I want to know that you're doing ok. Obviously, your page never gives any clues as to that, but I suppose my thinking is if something really bad happened there would be an indication. I feel badly that the way things ended with us was clearly not sensitive on my part, and I feel badly that it came at such a bad time for you. what do I do now? Link to comment
ruffles Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 Answering these questions might help you figure out what to do now: How did what she wrote back make you feel like? Are you ready to have an exchange of emails that is completely just on a "friend level?" Do you want to know anything about her life (can you handle it) or do you want to go NC? Do you still have urges that you want her back? Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 16, 2008 Author Share Posted November 16, 2008 I feel a little better knowign she feels bad about the situation. I dont want to merely be her friend. I dont want to know about her life Yes, I want her back Link to comment
ruffles Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 I feel a little better knowign she feels bad about the situation. I dont want to merely be her friend. I dont want to know about her life Yes, I want her back Ok. Well, the tone of her response to you didn't indicate that she's interested in getting back together If she were, I would expect something about how she's been looking at myspace because she misses you, thinks about you all the time, wants to know what you're up to, etc... not just that she wants to know that you're ok. (which, btw, bugs me a little because it sounds like she's assuming that you're still all torn up about her -- almost like she wants to hear that you're still all torn up? or maybe I'm being pessimistic, I don't know) What do you feel like doing, if anything? Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 I cant figure out how to respond. Im not into games or anything. Just honesty. This is typical lawyer-speak for her, btw. She's covering something up she doesnt want me to see. Link to comment
StillSmiling Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 You are playing with fire. Link to comment
createhappiness Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 i'd just respond, "thanks for your concern" nothing more... Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I cant figure out how to respond. Im not into games or anything. Just honesty. This is typical lawyer-speak for her, btw. She's covering something up she doesnt want me to see. And now you are trying to 'decipher' the hidden meaning in her message. Her message was very clear. Link to comment
veneratio Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Ahhh, I was hoping you wouldn't call her out on it. If you do decide to reply back, make sure you come off as strong. Don't give her the upper hand by allowing her to know you're still hurt by it. Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 i dont think im gonna respond at all Link to comment
Mending 08 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 exploding head....I think you were brave for "calling her out"...but truthfully, whether she 'misses" you or not..those were NOT the words she used to describe WHY she was checking up on you.If I were missing an ex...or someone I wanted back..I would SAY it...only because my heart wouldn't let me NOT say it.Once it's OUT it's OUT...NO going back. Women typically speak from the heart..REGARDLESS of their profression..ie, LAWYER...and don't "lawyers" typically talk about "facts'....not "emotions"? if she felt anything...wanted you back..........etc...why wouldn't she just tell you??? Either you are fooling yourself...........or she is damn good at what she does...cause the heart NEVER lies. Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 update. So I guess we are now in LC. Im being cautious, trust me. I apologized for some really f'd up things I said to her. (I needed to do that anyway) filled her in on my mother's situation (going to be ok) and my sister and her BF moving to Australia. I'm just talking at this point, and not keeping my hopes up. her response: I'm really overwhelmingly glad to hear about your mother. She will always hold a special place in my heart, I really liked her. I'm also glad to hear about J, D seemed like a very reliable and intelligent young man, and J is not the type to stay in a hometown forever. I forgive you for everything you said, and I also regret things that I said and the way that I acted. Link to comment
ruffles Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 update. So I guess we are now in LC. Im being cautious, trust me. I apologized for some really f'd up things I said to her. (I needed to do that anyway) filled her in on my mother's situation (going to be ok) and my sister and her BF moving to Australia. I'm just talking at this point, and not keeping my hopes up. her response: I'm really overwhelmingly glad to hear about your mother. She will always hold a special place in my heart, I really liked her. I'm also glad to hear about J, D seemed like a very reliable and intelligent young man, and J is not the type to stay in a hometown forever. I forgive you for everything you said, and I also regret things that I said and the way that I acted. Cool, that is a great start to LC. Still absolutely no indication she's interested in any kind of reconciliation. So you're smart to be cautious and low key. The second you start thinking too much about your interactions with her, feeling any pulling emotion, retreat back to NC. At least, that's what I'd do. Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 my response.. I'm glad you responded. My mother says the same about you still. She saw something inside you that made her very happy. I'd like to catch up sometime, get some coffee or something. I miss our conversations. Link to comment
exploding head Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 Thanks, and I appreciate it. I will keep your phone number on hand, but I think it's best to keep some space. Thank you for responding with news about your family. im an idiot.. Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Thanks, and I appreciate it. I will keep your phone number on hand, but I think it's best to keep some space. Thank you for responding with news about your family. im an idiot.. The best thing to do is just remember this mistake and don't make it again. Link to comment
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