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I plan to call the girl I went on a date with tonight but just wanted to ask

ConfusedDater

By ConfusedDater
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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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That's ok that she's on the other line with her mom. If she doesn't call you back tonight, no big deal. Ball is in her court now. If you dont hear from her before her trip on Friday, chances are she's not interested. But if you do hear back from her before then, she's interested. Don't think so much!

 

 

Mom is the POPULAR person girls are talking to-lol I have a real attitude right now, I have a list of about 9 girls and couldn't get in touch with none of them. Out of the 9 I only met one which is the one I'm trying to set up a another date with.

 

 

I feel myself starting to get worried, a email on sunday and today that got no response followed by a-"can I call you back"

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Are girls not allowed to talk to their moms? You talk to your mom all the time. Are they not allowed?

 

Your immaturity is coming back.

 

 

yes they are, i guess i just didn't want to hear that on my very first call after the 1st date. raises a red flag, especially if it's not followed by a call back tonight

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hers Experienced

hers

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You don't own her. She doesn't owe you anything. You did your part. Stop expecting something bad and leave it alone. It's not a red flag at all. You shouldn't expect her to end a call with her mom just b/c YOU, the holiest of holies, called! Come on man...

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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You don't own her. She doesn't owe you anything. You did your part. Stop expecting something bad and leave it alone. It's not a red flag at all. You shouldn't expect her to end a call with her mom just b/c YOU, the holiest of holies, called! Come on man...

 

 

Yeah I know, I guess I was just feeling kind of stupid after calling with a enthusiatic tone to my voice like-"HEY" and when I heard that I was like DAAM. So maybe it means nothing but I wanted to confirm that she was interested before I went to sleep so I guess I will have to wait another day

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hers Experienced

hers

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Well she just called me back but I didn't answer because it's almost 1am and I'm not in that MODE i was in earlier tonight so I will try this again on Thursday.

 

Why not tomorrow?

 

Email her in the morning and say you saw she called, sorry you didn't answer but you were already in bed.

 

Sounds like she's interested. A call back is a good thing. What more do you need to know to confirm that she's interested? Wre you planning to say "Hello, I just want to make sure you are, in fact, interested in me. So are you?"

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hers Experienced

hers

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Yeah I know, I guess I was just feeling kind of stupid after calling with a enthusiatic tone to my voice like-"HEY" and when I heard that I was like DAAM. So maybe it means nothing but I wanted to confirm that she was interested before I went to sleep so I guess I will have to wait another day

 

That's life. Sometimes timing is off. You can't control that. But your enthusiasm tells her you are interested in her. That's a good thing. Don't feel stupid for that.

 

How do you confirm that she's interested? Do you ask her outright? Are her emails and calls back not enough?

 

Don't ask her outright, if that's your plan. That's awkward and puts people on the spot. Take the hints and roll with the flow.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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Why not tomorrow?

 

Email her in the morning and say you saw she called, sorry you didn't answer but you were already in bed.

 

Sounds like she's interested. A call back is a good thing. What more do you need to know to confirm that she's interested? Wre you planning to say "Hello, I just want to make sure you are, in fact, interested in me. So are you?"

 

 

Yeah I guess that confirms it. I was going to ask how her day was, and what day she was leaving and discuss hanging out again in her part of town when she returns. But I'm too sleepy now and rather wait until tomorrow

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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That's life. Sometimes timing is off. You can't control that. But your enthusiasm tells her you are interested in her. That's a good thing. Don't feel stupid for that.

 

How do you confirm that she's interested? Do you ask her outright? Are her emails and calls back not enough?

 

Don't ask her outright, if that's your plan. That's awkward and puts people on the spot. Take the hints and roll with the flow.

 

 

 

I learned a lot over the past 3 years NOT to ask her a question like that. I would never do that, since I know there are other ways of finding out.

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hers Experienced

hers

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I learned a lot over the past 3 years NOT to ask her a question like that. I would never do that, since I know there are other ways of finding out.

 

Good. And a phone call back and an email after the date--those are GOOD SIGNS. You've found out. Good. Next step.

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LanceVanceDance Apprentice

LanceVanceDance

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I guess I uncontrollably become a overanalyzer when i met someone who is girlfriend material. I hate being this way but I can't help it because (...)

 

You will have to help it if you ever want your relationships to work. Otherwise you'll just end up overanalysing and acting weird because of it, thus ruining your chances over and over again.

 

Also, if you said you would call, then call. No offence CD, but judging from your posts and by your own admission, you don't exactly have "game". So don't play games. Be relaxed and confident, don't obsess over the girl, but don't play with her head either.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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You will have to help it if you ever want your relationships to work. Otherwise you'll just end up overanalysing and acting weird because of it, thus ruining your chances over and over again.

 

Also, if you said you would call, then call. No offence CD, but judging from your posts and by your own admission, you don't exactly have "game". So don't play games. Be relaxed and confident, don't obsess over the girl, but don't play with her head either.

 

 

Yeah I called but she said she was on the other line with her mom so I wasn't expecting her to call back but she did around 12:30am but I didn't answer because I was tired and wasn't in that MODE i was in when I called her earlier.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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If she called you back at 12:30am, then chances are she is interested. Take it as a good sign and go to bed and wake up to a new day tomorrow. Don't dwell on it all!

 

 

She emailed tonight saying

 

"hey i called you last night but I guess it was too late, I'm sorry. How was your day."

 

 

So I now feel comfortable setting up a second date with her when she comes back.

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Dating Coach Veteran

Dating Coach

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do you think there is interest on her part from the email she sent me sunday night? I asked how she was and said I had a good time and her response was

 

"i'm good, I went to church and then I was studying the rest of the day. I had a good time as well.............how is your day going?

 

 

 

 

So does that look like a good sign I may see her again? Also she is scheduled to go out of town on friday so should I wait to go on a 2nd date if she is interested before she leaves or just wait until she returns?

 

 

I think you need to quick looking for the green light. Stop looking at her emails to gauge her interest, her phone conversation, etc. If you just keep up with asking her out and going out on dates, that's it. Her continuing to be available to go out with you should be all you need to know.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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I think you need to quick looking for the green light. Stop looking at her emails to gauge her interest, her phone conversation, etc. If you just keep up with asking her out and going out on dates, that's it. Her continuing to be available to go out with you should be all you need to know.

 

 

I haven't gotten to that yet since she is going out of town. So i will talk to her tonight before she leaves.

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ConfusedDater Proficient

ConfusedDater

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I think you need to quick looking for the green light. Stop looking at her emails to gauge her interest, her phone conversation, etc. If you just keep up with asking her out and going out on dates, that's it. Her continuing to be available to go out with you should be all you need to know.

 

 

Well I called her tonight and talked for 10 min and asked her how her day was and told her that I hope she has a good time back home and i will talk to her when she gets back. Then I said that we can hang out next week and she gets back and get settled and she was cool with the idea.. I didnt mention a activity yet because we are a week away so that's something I can think about from now until next week.

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aldridal Enthusiast

aldridal

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I overanalyze as well, but you need to just "go with the flow" like somebody mentioned above. No reason in analyzing everything that this girl says. If you had a good time, and she said she had a good time, ask her out again. If she declines, then you have your answer.

 

But no matter how hard you look into what somebody says, you will never be satisfied with what you discover. If it's positive, you'll convince yourself that it's negative, and if it's negative, you'll let yourself get into more obsession, etc...

 

Don't go down that path.

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