I dont think anyone would miss me if i died

[meontopofyou]

yeha i dont think anyone would miss me if i died...all of u think oh of course they would...well no. at school i have no friends cuz i lie and do stupid *beep* to lose friends..i dont have a bf and this guy i like thinks im a total nutcase cuz i really like him anyway my mom and dad hit me sometimes i mean im dead serious no one would miss me if someone would i would totally admit it...but i really dont think anyone would i wana kill myself so much i always try but then i chicken out its so stupid. i wanna just end. then i dont needa feel what im feeling and i know that the pain will go away but its with me right now and i dont want it i mean its seriously excrutiating...i dont know what to do im so upset bout this guy and i knw hes one of many and there will be more but i want him now now later...its totally getting to me the girl he likes is so perfect and i cnt stand it anymore im driving myself insane HELP ME...

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

lol sure someone will miss you. We all make stupid mistakes here and there and even though sometimes life isn't as good as you want it to be but we all get our good and not as good days so just hang in there and the tide will pass. Don't be so depressed. Ok honestly, I wouldn't miss you and I ain't gonna lie because I don't know you at all but I would think that it was a shame that I never got to know you.

 

You can fight or you can run. DO you really want to end your life now and miss out on all the things that have yet to come just because no one will miss you? You can change your attitude and say "screw them" because hey, if you want, you can have a great life without everyone else.

 

Happy Heb

[HippoXNinja]

It seems like you are ready for change. You admit your flaws and that's a good thing because realizing them is the only way to get rid of them. You're not gonna do a total 360 overnight, so don't stress over it too much. Listen to some 311, from chaos, evolver or transistor to be specific....I'm serious.

[john one]

You're young, your emotions rule you, and you're having some rough years, but there's a reason why you chicken out everytime you try to kill yourself -it's because deep down inside whether you admit it to yourself or not, there's a part of you that either truly wants to see what the future offers or doesn't want to give up and be a quitter.

 

I know from experience, I used to be suicidal and actually tried a few times. I'm glad I failed. I hated life, people, and everything in this world, but poeple change and I definitely did. When you're ten, you don't think the way you did when you were 5, and so on and so on.

 

If you make it to a point in your life where you are happy, you'll be that much happier because you know what it's like to feel pain. When you find someone that appreciates you, you'll feel that much more appreciated because you know what it's like not to be appreciated. In a way, it can be a blessing to go through struggles as difficult they may be. Some people are spoiled and go through life with everything handed to them on a silver platter, but they are missing out on some very important aspects of life. I could go on and on explaining my views and experiences, but in short, my advice is -keep living. Find things you enjoy in life whether it be physical activities, art, music, books, explore them all. Don't let others control how you feel, because I'll tell you right now that people will dissappoint you. True friendships and love don't come easily, that's what make them special. I haven't gotten to the point where I can say I'm completely happy. I'm actually going through some rough times. But I've had a taste of what it's like to enjoy life, and I'll continue to try and improve my quality of life one step at a time. Hang in there and you'll see that there's alot this world has to offer -too much to list.

[musicguy]

I know how it feels. I feel the same way sometimes. As john one says, you chicken out because there is a part of you that wants to live. I normally think to myself "oh I'm gonna kill myself cuz no one will care" In fact I was just in that phase last Monday, but I didn't wanna die. I have too much going on for me in the future. Think positively and you will be positive, it's not gonna be an overnight thing, it's gonna take awhile. People do care about you, even if you don't think that they do. If your mom and dad hit you, maybe you should talk to someone about that. As for having a bf, being in a relationship doesn't always make a person happy, it's you that has to make you happy before you can make another person happy. Smile, love yourself and live your life. People love and care for you.

 

Musicguy

[cigarillo]

there's a part of you that either truly wants to see what the future offers or doesn't want to give up and be a quitter.

 

Right on, whoever said this! This is my mantra in a way. It has kept me alive and in many ways thriving. I have had a physical disability (spina bifida) all of my life (I am 28 ). I get around with crutches adequately enough for a good busy lifestyle. I have a paid job, a college degree, and a great sense of self (I am part of a fan club for a professional soccer team in town, and am also following the local college gymnastics team on some of their road meets).

 

Unfortunately, I have trouble communicating with people sometimes, particularly some non-disabled folks (let me stress not all of them. Some folks out there are quite enlightened). I've run into many that either pity me to no end or slam me with patronizing complements like "Geez, I don't know how you face life each day and come to work, blah blah blah. You are soooooo "courageous (or "inspirational" or "brave" or what have you)". This behavior, not my own physical limitations, is what has sometimes put me into a deep depression to where I have contemplated ending it. However, I have realized that if I were to end it, I'd just be letting all the aforementioned people win. I'd also be dragging my true friends down with me to some extent---folks who have gone out of their way to show true human respect to me.

 

You, whatever it is that depresses you, cannot let this enemy win. As the above quote implies, there's a lot to be said for life's struggles. They can be enlightening, fascinating, and if you win these struggles, comforting.

 

Find whatever little thing it is that you like, hobbywise or otherwise, and expand that part of your life. That can be a great builder of bridges.

 

Sorry for the long windedness, and very sorry if anyone felt pidgeonholed. It was not my intent, but the lessons I've learned are important for me to share.

 

Cheers.

 

Cory

[devastation]

hi meontopofyou i am perceiving live the same say you do in a way.first of all i am secluded socially and i had share of ostracization and no one is interested in knowing more about me. it will take them centuries before they even find out about the fact that i resort to the inevitable. my parents? i am not even on talking terms with them. There is no one in this world that is going to be profoundly and adversely affected by the inevitable on my part really and my parents deserved to be punished for what they did to me especially in the past. but still i think at least you have a better future than me and you should give life a second go.I have exhauseted all options including all the professional help as well and i believe that a catastrophe is imminent anyway eg an event that prevents u from ending it when you have every intention of doing it. why should i be so stupid to wait for that event.it's will be incompetence on my part

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey meontopofyou! Where are you? Hope you haven't killed yourself.

To be honest, I think I'm missing you.

 

Happy Heb

[KayM05]

iight listen..dont think tat way...there is someone out there tat will miss u trust me...ur parents will...they have to love u n dis guy well i dont know him but stilll dont worry bout him there was alot of guys i liked n i wanted them so bad but i didnt get them so just get it low n go on wit ur life n things will get betta cuz there were times i wanted to kill myself n i tired n i almost did died n it was soo scary so hang in there n evathing will be ok....

*Kay|a*

[Awrey88]

I would miss you, I have never met you but I have heard your plea. I know how you feel when it comes to depression it sucks but it does pass. No matter how hard things can get there is always someone who cares, remember that the next time you think of doing somthing harful to yourself. People who commit suicide go to purgatory, it is a form of hell. If you were to commit suicide then you would be stuck in the same hell for eternity. If you fight it out then you will see what life does have to offer, its great once you get over that hump of wanting to kill yourself and hating the world. Things will always get better with time.