john one

I know from experience what you're going through. Let me say this bluntly. Right now, you're falling prey to your own weaknesses and fears. We're all guilty of it at times, but there's a limit. It seems to me like the limit has been surpassed by far. If you're smart about it, you can learn a lot from these situations and they can make you a stronger and even better person. Listen to the advice of those who have gone before you. Listen to your best judgement. Don't let your emotions screw you over! To be in a healthy relationship, you gotta love yourself, and right now you're not showing yourself much love. It's tough for sure, but so is everything in this world at first. A needy man is an unattractive man. Almost every woman I've known has admitted to this -my mom, my ex, my female friends, my current girlfriend, coworkers, people on this site. Right now, you are needy. The best thing to do is to strive to become a strong, independent, successful, kind, caring man who respects himself as well as others. The kind of guy that people respect. A man who lets his girlfriend walk all over him or treat him badly or unfairly is bound for a long path of negatives -neverending headaches, heartaches, stomach aches, regret, self-pity, depression, hate, more fear, etc., etc., etc... If you get the courage to leave her in your past, and I mean really leave her, not just for a while to try and teach her a lesson -here's what will happen: after you end it, you'll be in pain for a while. It will seem like it won't end, but it will. At first, it will be hard to focus on things, but you'll get the hang of it before you know it. You'll start getting used to life without her. You'll think there's no one out there for you, but you'll end up meeting some girls that get your attention and are actually responsive to you -you'll be surprised at your own "luck". You'll filture out the ones that don't compliment you well and end up with one or more that make you question your earlier negative thoughts. You'll realize that the saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is true and that there is more than one person in the world who is right for us. You'll see that there's more to life than just sitting at home being in pain over one girl who doesn't even treat you well. Watch the movie Swingers. It helped a bit during a tough past breakup (7 years). Focusing on work and my hobbies helped. Good friends always help too. Become who you want to become. Life's too short to be moping around for too long. One thing is for sure though -you gotta learn to live without this girl. You gotta stop giving her so much of your energy and start giving yourself more of that potentially good stuff. Be good to yourself. You're not helping her or yourself by taking all of her crap. If you saw a good friend going through the same thing, you'd probably tell him the same things... Good luck brotha...

Are you serious? He has has several things on his mind and all of it is related to sex. No, he doesn't want to just get to know you better. If he acts like he does, he's just playing the game to score points so that he'll better his chances in the future. A guy doesn't need to have you in his room to get to know you. If only you girls knew how a man thinks... A guy who really does want to get to know you will go about it differently just to show you that he's real. He'll avoid asking you to his room right away because he wouldn't want to scare you away. He'd take it slow and find things he likes or doesn't like about you. He'd ask a lot of questions and listen at length to whatever you have to say. He'd put his two cents in and see how you respond. An invitation to a dorm room after a quick exchange of words is a definite sign of wanting you physically...

Sometimes Community Colleges offer therapy and counseling for free to enrolled students. My mom used to always enroll in maybe one class and then take advantage of the free school services. It's definitely cheaper than many other options. I'm not sure if they'll prescribe you drugs, but you might not even need them. You might just need the therapy. Who knows? Check it out. You might even get some enjoyment out of the class you sign up for. Some are just a night or two a week so you should be able to make time right? Good luck. By the way, I went through a long period in my life when I just wanted to die. Things change...

In my opinion, yes you are being a big floozie. Of course it could be much worse, you could be the campus ho, but hopefully you won't let that happen for your sake. It seems you're too worried about what's "normal" in the "college scene". I'll tell you what's normal abut the college scene, MOST of the guys want to have sex with as many girls as they can without strings. They'll do anything to make it happen, even try to make you believe it's "normal" to have casual sex or campus f-buddies (friends with benefits). Not only that, but many of the girls on the campus are brainwashed to accept these terms and will want to make you believe it's right for you too. Many of these girls have self esteem issues and some are just nymphos. Also, at these parties, guys will try to catch a feel and grope you whenever they get a chance. If you let them, they'll just keep taking it further and their friends will try too. You gotta stand your ground and not let them have their way with you, don't be a tool. What you should do is respect yourself and do what you feel is right. If you feel a guy is worthy of your company or touch and you like him then take it from there. But don't be a floozie because you won't feel good about yourself. This is coming from a man. This is top secret guy info and I could be shot for telling you this! Good luck...

You're young. You can bounce back. It might seem like everything is crashing down on you, but there will be much harder times ahead. Debt sucks, but this country is based on credit and debt. What you need to do is keep your head up, believe in yourself, and do what you can to improve your position in life, all the while knowing that there will be times of setback. It's the whole three steps up, two steps down theory. As long as you're always trying to improve your life and self overall, some debt and tuff school tests won't stop you -you'll keep climbing and getting better with age like wine. Don't forget to try and balance it all -hard work and also the enjoyment in life. Study for your test, if you don't pass, try again. Look for a job to pay some bills. Think about what you want in life and make your way down that path. Don't be defeated by doubt and worry. Every triumph will empower you to take on tougher challenges if need be. Just so you know, I owe about $50,000. But this is due mostly to school loans, with some debt from when I was younger and like you, used credit cards to pay bills, etc. It's a lot of money, but money is also out there to be made and my debt is decreasing. I'm doing it. Meanwhile, my credit score is increasing because I always make my payments. This means it will be better in the long run that I have this debt, because I'll have a long and good credit history. Right now my FICA score is close to 800. It's better to start building credit while you're young. Just make sure you make it a priority to pay off those credit card debts just as fast as you get them. Good luck and don't give up...

There are lots of possible reasons for a guy to take a long time to climax. Some of these are: > Tired physically > Stressed out > Preoccupied mentally > Getting used to the feeling > etc., etc., etc. If you want to know what it is in this case, I guess the only way you'll find out is if you ask him and he gives you an honest answer.

Some possible reasons why he doesn't want you to do it: He doesn't like the way it feels (hard to imagine, but I've seen a couple of posts by people on here by guys who didn't like oral); he has some kind of condition or std that he doesn't want you to get from him; he doesn't want to associate you with the "bad girl" or slutty type; he is afraid of recieving oral for some type of self conscious reasons (maybe afraid you'll gross out or not like the smell and look of his you know what so..up close) or he truly doesn't want you to feel pressured. I guess communication is key, but it might be hard to get the truth out of him. Try talking it out of him first, then if you feel the need, you can do something a little more aggressive such as- make your way down there while you two are in the heat of the moment. Depending on his reaction, you can take it from there. If he's a little hesistant, you can be a little more persistent and show that you really want to do it. If he freaks out, you can stop everything and demand that he tell you what the heck is going on. Good luck.... Gee I must admit, I'm envious of your boyfriend. I miss the days when my ex used to go out of her way to please me.

I've been smoking "herbs" for over twelve years now, and I can tell you I wouldn't recommend it to anyone (unless they have Glaucoma or some other condition). I'd say that any beginner, especially a young girl who likes a particular boy and is smoking with him for the first time, would tend to feel a little or very paranoid about whether or not they are acting cool, calm, correct and normal while "high". When you're under the influence, it's possible that you might feel like you're missing that "edge" you have when you're sober. It's easy to get one too many laugh attacks, or forget what you were just talking about, or commit a party foul, or other things like that in the beginning, so that's something to think about as well. You definitely lose lots of control over whatever you're doing, unless you've been smoking for years and are participating in some activity that is second nature to you and you are passionate about (art for example)... For everything else besides that, medical reasons, and using it to relax, it's counter productive. All in all, there are lots of reasons why you shouldn't get into smoking herb. The chances that it will be a positive addition to your life is slim. I still think alcohol (in excess, which is often the case) is much worse though, in every way except it's legality (which itself can be debatable).

It's tuff, what you're going through. For me, it was seven years of devotion and expectations of much more before having my heart cut open. I hold nothing against her and I understand the rational side of why it happened (being let go of), how it can be good in some ways, etc., but it still sucks terribly and I can relate to how you're feeling. Life seems so unfair sometimes doesn't it? One thing I believe though, is that sooner or later, it's inevitable that you'll find the strength and courage to move on and grow to the point where the experience you are going through won't be nearly as painful, you might even appreciate it. Sometimes it takes along time to get to that point and sometimes it seems it's rather quick, but sooner or later that point comes.

We all have temptations and fantasize about certain things, but not every fantasy is worth pursuing. It's easy to take things for granted, and that is what I believe you are doing. Think of the big picture, what's really important to you? Sex with your co-worker/some new action -or- the health and well being of your marriage and family life. How would you view another person in your position if you were looking from the outside? Is marriage not sacred to you? Did you forget the vows you took? You say that for the first time, you have someone at work approaching you, but let me tell you that there have been and always will be offers, whether you are made aware of them or not. No matter what your appearance, there are and always will be a number of guys -a bracket, if you will- that are interested in getting you in bed, whether you're married or not. So don't think that this man at work is a once in a lifetime oppurtunity. You've always had the option to cheat, but why haven't you already? Have things changed inside of you? Do you not value the same things as before? You need to think more before you act on your lust. This guy might not even be able to please you. There are no guarantees that you will be a satisfied customer. What would your daughters think of you if they knew? What would you have thought about your mother if she strayed from the marriage for sex? Could you live with the guilt? There's so much more to it, but in simple terms -there are only a few things worse than betraying your husband or wife. My opinion is, you should find other ways of dealing with your sexual frustration, needs, or whatever is the cause of you considering cheating on your hubby. Some people say that life is too short to not do what you want and act out your fantasies, but I believe that it's also too short to not make some real commitments to important people or causes in our lives, seeing them through to the end, and leaving behind an example for others to be proud of.

You're young, your emotions rule you, and you're having some rough years, but there's a reason why you chicken out everytime you try to kill yourself -it's because deep down inside whether you admit it to yourself or not, there's a part of you that either truly wants to see what the future offers or doesn't want to give up and be a quitter. I know from experience, I used to be suicidal and actually tried a few times. I'm glad I failed. I hated life, people, and everything in this world, but poeple change and I definitely did. When you're ten, you don't think the way you did when you were 5, and so on and so on. If you make it to a point in your life where you are happy, you'll be that much happier because you know what it's like to feel pain. When you find someone that appreciates you, you'll feel that much more appreciated because you know what it's like not to be appreciated. In a way, it can be a blessing to go through struggles as difficult they may be. Some people are spoiled and go through life with everything handed to them on a silver platter, but they are missing out on some very important aspects of life. I could go on and on explaining my views and experiences, but in short, my advice is -keep living. Find things you enjoy in life whether it be physical activities, art, music, books, explore them all. Don't let others control how you feel, because I'll tell you right now that people will dissappoint you. True friendships and love don't come easily, that's what make them special. I haven't gotten to the point where I can say I'm completely happy. I'm actually going through some rough times. But I've had a taste of what it's like to enjoy life, and I'll continue to try and improve my quality of life one step at a time. Hang in there and you'll see that there's alot this world has to offer -too much to list.

I say keep at it knowing that it gets easier and better with every try, for the both of you. Soon, pain SHOULD become pleasure, but it might take a bit.

I used to be suicidal and destructive to myself as well as whatever was around me. There are only a few things I didn't do to try and kill myself (shoot myself with a gun or take cionide). It took time to understand why I shouldn't just continue to try and "end the pain". Living isn't easy to do for alot of people. It may be due to the circumstances involving everything from money, love, family relationships, physical and mental health, to other things that effect us so much. It's hard to change the way you view your world, but that's what it takes to live -changes to the way you percieve things. I'm not a counselor, so I won't try to act like one, nor do I want to. But I offer you or anyone else here my ear as well as opinions and personal experiences if it would help, I think it would.

There are always two sides to a story. If this girl (suspect rapist) were to hear of the allegations, she might offer a completely different recollection of the way everything went down. Who knows which story would really be true? That's not an easy situation to deal with. I guess you'll have to communicate, take everything into account -facts as well as intuition- and decide how to best think of it all so that you can be at peace with yourself. As far as guys getting raped, I think a large percentage of those reported cases of a guy getting raped are ridiculous. Yes there are times when guys have too much to drink, but if those same guys were getting sexually advanced on by a man who was trying to rape them, I believe that those same guys who are supposedly too drunk to do anything about it, will fight like you've never seen a man fight before or at least show that kind of effort. Most men would rather risk it all then to get raped by another man. My belief is that in most cases involving women "raping" men, it's not really rape because the man doesn't truly have that "no, no, no, I don't want this to happen to me" mentality that he would if the "attacker" were a man.

I'm not supporting you smoking in your mom's house, I'm alos against it, but I have a feeling that even with the advice above about not smoking in the house, you might still just continue doing it. At the very least, IF you decide to continue to smoke, I'd say don't be throwing it in your mom's face by staring at her with some bloodshot eyes -use some Clear Eyes or some other eye drops that get the red out. As far as the smell, make sure you cover the crack under the door, etc. and a trick I learned back in the days was to get the tube from a used toilet paper roll, wrap a couple of fabric softener sheets over one end with a rubber band, and blow the smoke through from the other end -it smells like incense. You should probably get some incense and an incense holder too.