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Feeling a bit insecure/jealous


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Hey all...I'm back. I've known my boyfriend for three years and we have officially been doing the long distance thing for just over a year. Believe me we have definitely had our issues but we always communicate to work them out. It's funny how whenever there is something significant that happens I turn to these forums. But I just find them sooo helpful. Here is my latest issue...

 

A couple nights ago when we talked on the phone I found out that he had a girl friend over to watch a movie at his place that night. I have met this girl and she is aware that we are together. When he told me this I got very jealous and confronted him about it. He assured me that he is not interested in her nor anyone else and was very open about what happened. I accepted what he told me and we ended up having a very loving conversation. Because of our time distance the following day I knew we wouldn't be able to skype so he told me he would call. He didn't so I tried calling him but his phone was off. Now I find my imagination taking over and am feeling very insecure and jealous. I know that we will talk tonight but I am unsure of how to approach this. Do I question him having his phone off or just let go of it? I know there is no way to control what he does but what kills me is because of the long distance...if he ever does or decides to cheat how will I ever know?

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My imagination would be taking over and feeling insure and jealous too. First of all being in a LDR is really hard as it is and takes so much trust, second of all, knowing your man is watching movies with another girl while your not there is even harder, then to boot he said he would call and didnt and he's not answering his phone. I'd find that odd, if this is out of the ordinary for you.

If this is really bothering you, I would not let it go, I would ask him how come he did not answer his phone and ask him whats up.

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Thanks, I will definitely bring it up to him and see what he says. But I will try not to make it into a big deal. I'm also afraid now that because I voiced my jealousy over this situation, the next time he hangs out with her or any other girl for that matter he might not mention it to avoid creating problems. I really hope that isn't the case. I guess that there is not always a wrong/right way of dealing with things.

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it would bug me too! you are def not feeling anything most people wouldnt feel. i would tell him that even though you trust him and love him, having a girl over/having his phone off urks you and makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

if something make syou feel uncomfortable its worth talking about, no matter how trivial.

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Honestly I don't think you have anything to worry about. The reason behind that is that he actually told you that she was coming over and she was watching a movie. Now if he hadn't told you that she was coming over or if he was going out to hang out with some friends and he didn't tell you that they happened to be girls that he was interested in, then I'd be worried.

 

You don't have to be and shouldn't be worried about it if he tells you about the girl and what they did. Would you bring up a guy with your bf if you cheated on him with this other guy? I don't think you would even mention what happened with him at the very least.

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I wouldn't even mention him having his phone off. He may well say what the reason was anyway, if it was significant. I agree with pewpew about it being unlikely you have anything to worry about - he was completely open about a female friend coming round, and your conversation ended up being very close and loving.

 

I hope you do get to talk to him later, and that your conversation will reassure you!

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