MISSINGYOU2004 Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 A LITTLE LONG SORRY BUT PLEASE READ AND TRY TO HELP ME THANK YOU: Here is my story, this is the first time in my entire life I have had a broken heart. I have been dating this girl for about 6 months, for thanksgiving i went back home to visit my family and told her i would return in a week, instead i got stuck there and stayed for 2 months. Over this time she kept calling me trying to figure out where I was, my best friend had just passed away, so I was not calling anyone of my friends or her back. She knew about my best friends death. Anyways one day I call up one of my friends who also knows her, the one who introduced me to her, and we start to talk, and he asks me about her, and I was angry so I was like forget her, I have better girls here where I am. What happened was that she was there and heard this conversation, i learned to never talk shit behind someones back. Anyways i return back to the city where she is at, I date other girls and realize that I am really in love with this girl. So i give her a call, and after 4 days she calls me back, she is like hey how are you doing so you have a girlfriend, im like yes, thinking its her, and she is like I got back with my ex. This hurts because it was 2 months I was not there, and she get back with her ex, why do girls do that is it because they still have feelings for the ex, or is it rebound, or is it from being in soo much pain from me and they jump into something else. So then im really heart broken, and I write her a very very touching poem, and we went out to lunch as friends and I realized how much I have messed up because she was a great girl. I called her from sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday, on tuesday i saw my phone with a missed call from her, wednesday she didnt call back, after this i going to do the no contact rule since i know now that is the best. thing to do after reading the different posts. She is now with her ex, she told me she works close by my house, where her ex's uncle hooked her up with a job and will visit me sometime, what should I do should I do the no contact rule. This is my first time I was deeply in love and it really really hurts, I have had so much pain, I met another girl, we went out on a date but I kept thinking of my ex, I need to move on, I need to learn from my mistake and move on, but my question is well if in the future after the no contact rule, if she calls me and wants to get back with me, do I accept and get back with her, or will she break my heart again. Please anyone help me I am very very sad over this situation, that I cant work or concentrate. im depresssed. Link to comment
lil_mamarains13 Posted January 22, 2004 Share Posted January 22, 2004 Well first of all you shouldn't have said that you have better girls where you are. How is she supposed to trust you? I wouldn't be able to. I think it is best if you just move on, but it is going to be up to you weather or not you take another chance with her. I am one of the girls that got back with my ex, but he broke up with me and then realized he made a mistake. We are still together and I am very happy. She may have gone back to him for stability, maybe she really loves him, or maybe it is just a rebound. No one can really say since we are not living in her shoes. Did she call her ex or did her ex call her? Did she break up with her ex originally or did her ex break up with her? These are things we don't know, and you may not even know. Did you even apologize to her for what you said? I don't know man, but I wish you all the luck. Sorry if I didn't help. Link to comment
MISSINGYOU2004 Posted January 23, 2004 Author Share Posted January 23, 2004 Can I get some feedback from anyone, I really need some feedback, my heart is hurting, I am going to do the no contact rule starting today. But I senT out her brother a birday present and her mother and father some pictures of us as they had wanted from me, today. But I Promise no more contact for at least a month, I will learn from my mistake and move on. Please anyone any feedback will help, I want some opionions in regard to my situation, it would be really appreciated. IM HERE ALL ALONE AND ALL LOST, I JUST NEED SOMEONE ELSES THOUGHT ON THIS. ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN DUMPED, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DEAL THROUGH THE PAIN, THANK YOU. WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING HER BACK. PS LIL MAMARAINS13 THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY TO MY POST , THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HERE ARE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS, I DONT KNOW IF SHE CALLED HER EX OR IF SHE CALLED HIM, BUT ORIGINALLY SHE TOLD ME SHE BROKE UP WITH HER EX BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. I HAVE APOLOGIZED TO HER IN A POEM I WROTE HER AND GAVE TO HER LAST SUNDAY NIGHT, WHEN WE MET AFTER SHE TOLD ME SHE GOT BACK WITH HER EX. FOR NOW THE NO CONTACT RULE, IM GOING TO STICK TO IT. Link to comment
luckystar Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I can tell you this.....it DOES get easier ......on day 12 I was ready to throw in the towel and contact her.... I am now on day 24......I feel much much better.....i still want her more than anything, but have gotten out and done a few things to make it better... 1. excercise at least 30 minutes EVERY day for the next 30 days 2. go on at least three dates with other women in the next 30 days....( i know this may be hard...but you MUST do it )....it was a godsent for me to do this!!...I am serious... 3. try as hard as you can to focus on school/work or whatever you do during the day... 4. try to relax....I take really huge deep breaths and hold it in .....then let it out....over and over.....while saying to myself....."let go....just let go" in a calm voice.......it helps... 5. You MUST not do the contact in the first 15 days no MATTER what....!!! This is the hardest part....after day 15, it will get a little easier each day....you will have good days and bad days...but keep up with the excercising, reading this website, going on a few casual dates and you will feel better for sure.... You do NOT want your ex to come back to a person who is an emotional wreck.....they want a person who is happy and content with themselves.....so BECOME THAT PERSON..! I know it is easier said than done....but I am on day 24 of 60 that I am shooting for....and at day 12, I was at an emotional low.......today I am looking forward to being able to mark off another day and go on my next date.......I will get her back someday.....I know it and want it and will stop at nothing to get her....I am willing to lose her...to let her go...this is the only way to get her back........this is what has given me confidence to keep moving.....i also have lost 18 pounds since the breakup from the excercising!!! Link to comment
luckystar Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 I hope this doesnt get deleted, because I am truly not promoting this for any other reason than that I know it has helped me get through the last week so well and has given me the best foundation to completely get back on track with my life and deal with my breakup...... link removed I only got the book....."This side of goodbye" and nothing else.... It is worth its weight in gold in my opinion as I read it every single day.....and it helps me get through and be healthy again. Link to comment
jclaam Posted January 23, 2004 Share Posted January 23, 2004 Hey Missingyou2004, I am in the similar situation like you. This girl I was seeing and all sudden she told me that she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore because she is confuse in what she wants. The reason is that she is thinking about going back to her ex. Ex that was really poessive and jealous about everything that she does. I am in the day 15 of no contact. I was doing pretty good however tonight I talk to one of her friends and she told me that my ex thinks that I am psycho. Well it was about three weeks ago when she told me that she doesn't know anymore. So I got really frustrated and plus her mom told me that she might be going back to her ex and might be even moving back with him. I was just filled with so much anger and frustration. Why couldn't she have the nerve to tell me. I was just really pissed off, so I kept calling her and showed at her work all in single day. I know that I was wrong and I called her that same day to apologize about my action. However, I don't think it was all my fault. Was it wrong of me wanting to finding out the real truth behind everything whether she is been truthful with me or just been lying to my face. I just don't understand why am I so stuck up on this girl because there are plenty of girls out there. All my friends around me tells me that she is not good for me and that I know that myself also. Yet I still want her back in my life. Does that make no sense or what? I guess I am just sad that someone out there would think that I am psycho which I'm not. I have not contact her in anyway for about 15 days now. I was doing alright. Like everyone said there are going to be days that totally sucks and that you can't help it because they are in your mind constantly. I am going to cotinue the no contact method and bascially for me to heal and move on really. I'm not going to lied but part of me hopes that she will come to her sense and that she will call me up in next couple weeks. But I don't think that I will ever hear from her ever again. Yes, I am very sad about that but that is life. If she really going to believe that I am that type of character then I'm sorry then because I'm not and she is going to miss out on someone like me. But I know that I will not going to contact her at all no matter what. It is really difficult sometimes but no. I just really want to write her email right now and tell her that I am not that type of psycho character that she thought I was. But I'm not going too. Just be strong. I know is really difficult right now. Just tried to focus on other things in your life. I know that is easier said than done. But do really try to get on with your life. The no contact rule will work if they really want you back. Let them miss you and that if they really miss you then they would call and talk to you. But remember this just don't be sitting by the phone and waiting her to call. Take this time to really think whether do you really want her back and heal for yourself. If you really don't respect and understand yourself. How do you expect her to respect you. If she does come back. She wants someone that is filled with confidence and knows what they want. Not someone that sit and crying over them. This forum has help me alot and use it wisely. Take care and let us know. I will let you know how my situation goes. jclaam Link to comment
MISSINGYOU2004 Posted January 31, 2004 Author Share Posted January 31, 2004 DEAR ALL, MY EX HAS GIVEN ME ANOTHER CHANCE, She has forgiven me, last night was a really special day for me, we went out on a dinner date, she told me she has broken up with her ex that she had gone to, because she didnt love him and loved me, we went out to dinnner, talked made up and dropped her off home with a kiss goodnight. Im so happy so everyone who has helped me along the way thank you for being there I am back with her and happier than ever, and more appreciative than ever, I will never make the same mistakes, talk to everyone later, and please go with your heart and never give up, i love you all. Link to comment
Apoc220 Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Congrats man, good job on going with your heart. Before you go along heres something for you to ponder. I think its safe to assume that about a good 10% of relationships that end and get back together are successful. Right now all is jolly with this girl and all, but understand that a 1 to 10 ratio is really small. In a sense this time it worked, but next time something like this happens, you have to try and make yourself better so that you will be even more attractive to gals. The reason for "moving on" and all is because if you keep chasing the person you think is "the love of your life yada yada" you could miss out on someone even better walking into your life. You get what we're preaching here? Time will tell if your relationship with this girl will last. You didn't really give yourself time to better yourself and anyone can say "I wont make the same mistakes again" but time will tell. I still say you should have tried and waited just a bit so that you could have had time to sort things out and been more valuable in her eyes. Yeah she was all lovey doby and all, but dont over-analyze things. In your PM to me you say that you knew she loved you after she called you back saying "why havent you called?" That doesnt necessarily mean that she loves you but is curious on why you havent been chasing her. Try not to overanalyze things because it will drive you crazy. You have to look at actions and not words. In the end her ACTIONS will truly tell if she wants to be with you. Best of luck man, as has been told to you many times... watch your heart. Link to comment
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