Apoc220

Hey Nate, One thing that you gotta know is that she doesn't care how much you spent on a gift money wise. Most guys (myself included once upon a time) fell that the amount of money you spend or the amount of gifts you buy will make a girl happier in the end. Its actually the opposite. one gift that comes from the heart and that she knows that you put thought into it is worth more than a million diamond rings. Sure she'll like those diamond rings, but the heartfelt gift will mean more to her. And if she is a superficial girl that wants lots of money spent on gifts then maybe she isn't what you are looking for. The point im getting at is look around and when you see something that strikes your eye, keep it in mind. Remember, "its the thought that counts."

Hey Pete, According to some of your earlier posts she left you correct? Well, the way I see it if she left you then it had to be a good reason why she did it after twelve years. I heard once that if you ask a woman why she left you the first answer is never the actual one. It might be part of the reason, but if you keep probing she'll let into why she left you. In this situation you just have to give it time. If she leaves the door open for communication then go for it and find out why she REALLY left. But if she just shuts you out, count your losses and try and move on. The most important thing is the mindset you have. If you prepare yourself mentally with the fact that theres a possibility she wont come back, then it will only be easier on you. Notice I said EASIER, not easy. Its gonna be hard, but only you can control how hard it will affect you. Godspeed my friend and happy holidays!

She took off the whole week off work and she knows im coming. Im safe, thanks for the insight though!

Hey Guys, First off Im in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who lives in New jersey. We will have our one year anniversary next week, im going to go up to New Jersey for a week to celebrate new years and to celebrate our one year anniversary. I was originally going to take her out to New York City for dinner and possibly a horse drawn carriage in central park. I nixed that idea because I dont have the budget to do so. My plan now is to show up at her house unannounced and set up some roses and a blanket in her backyard. I would then do something to get her attention to her backyard where she would see me. When she sees me ill be there with my acoustic guitar in hand. Ill bring her over and tell her to sit down and just listen. I then am going to play a song that I have been learning (First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes). I then will give her something that I will make for her (still need to go to arts and crafts store). Im thinking of making something with our picture and a poem... something that she can look at and remember our first year. Finally I wanted to take her out to a hibachi steak house (restaraunt where they cook the food in front of you... () Thats the restaraunt website. I thought it would be something interesting, always wanted to go to one and its not the usual "candle-light dinner", something out of the ordinary. After that we could possibly go to the jersey city boardwalk (looks onto the nyc skyline) and just have a walk along the boardwalk talking and reminiscing good times. Well, thats all I thought of. Wadaya think?

UPDATE: I recently stumbled onto a post on the forum dealing with introverts. After reading the post and looking at websites online I came to the conclusion that this may be a factor to how I have been feeling. The more that I read about introverts the more I realized that this was the natural me. I tried to change myself and maybe its just the true introvert me just trying to get out. I scheduled an appt. for monday to see someone about this. Hopefully she can answer some questions.

Hey guys, Recently I have been very irratable. I recently have been taken things very personal and its gotten to the point where the smallest thing will set me off and get me angry. If anyone makes a joke about me or just laughs at me I just take it personal and just feel so angry like they have attacked me. All my life I have been a person who tries to help people and lend a hand whenever I can. And at the same time I havent always been the brightest crayon in the box and can sometimes do things that show lack of common sense. This causes me to be made fun of or ridiculed. I usually try and have a care-free attitude and just brush off the comments and not let them phase me. I think that it all just built up and all the years of me keeping in the times when people have offended me or have hurt me and now its set off to the point where I just cant take anything jokingly. This is just the tip of the iceberg folks, but I dont know if I should see a professional about this or just see if it passes. I really need help guys, this is affecting me in a negative way. Thank You.

The best way for you to approach this is to get yourself in a situation in which you will be able to have a nice conversation. Nothing huge like marriage or going steady but just to break the ice a little so to speak. Make sure you keep her laughing and keep it up beat and light on the conversation. Once you have established a decent rapport ask her if she would like to get together for a cup of coffee or sumthin. Then you can take it from there. As long as you are able to make her laugh and show her a decent time you will have no problem. Now... if you feel that this girl is into you and you dont have to pre-heat the oven then by all means ask her for a little get together where you two can talk and get to know each other a little better.

Take what this guy says as a grain of salt. Im a Marine and I can tell you that if this guy has a good heart and is worth your time he will be better tenfold when he gets out of bootcamp. Trust me when I say that if its something you feel is worth is... you can make it work. Right now me and my girlfriend are going on three months in a LDR and its been going great. I surprised her with flowers on valentines day and I sent her a special gift for her b-day which she loved. If we can make it work then you can too. Just analyze if its really worth it... if it is then go for it! When its meant to be its meant to be.

How many of you have read this book? I recently bought it on link removed hearing good things about it but I wanted to know if anyone here has read it and their relationship benefited from it. I havent received it yet, but I just was curious if any of you had read it.

Hey people... got some questions. Firstly I appreciate it if the ladies here would give me their opinion on a gift I got my girlfriend for her b-day. Im stationed in Cali and shes in NJ, so I wanted to send her something original since I couldnt be there for her b-day nor valentines day (which fall on back to back days). Anyway for her valentines day gift Im sending her some flowers that I think shell like. As far as her b-day present I sent her a "message in a bottle" from link removed. I personally wrote the message that will be in the bottle and it will be printed on paper with burnt edges and come in a wood case. I was going for something original and that she would really enjoy... good on me? This is the message I wrote her: Secondly, when I was on christmas leave she told me that she loves me and I believe that this girl truly does. Shes always making refrences of us living together someday. Like yesterday I told her that I wanted to become a Drill Instructor... she said "oh god ill have to tape your mouth shut everyday" when I asked why she told me "because you'll come home and talk like a drill instructor." (for those who dont know drill instructors are the ones that train marines in boot camp.) Anyway, she makes references like this often. But I digress... I am falling in love with her and I wanna tell her so that she will know that I feel the same way. My question is that should I wait till I see her face to face again... or should I just tell her on the phone when I feel the time is right. Call me silly but I have the feeling like it would mean more to her (and me) if I told her face to face. Just a thought though... thanks in advance guys.

Skills are like accesories to a man in the eyes of a woman. A woman isnt just going to be into you because you can kick a block of wood in half or can play good guitar. If that were the case then millions of computer geeks (no offense im a network admin) would be turning down women for dates. But in the world we live in... thats not the case buddy. You wanna know how to get a girl? Im not gonna say "be yourself" because thats such a cop-off. All you need to do is have a little confidence in that you are a guy that any woman would love to be with. Thats step 1. Step 2, learn a skill. If you learn a skill then you will have a hobby... that hobby will take your mind of not having a girl and if you become proficient in that skill by some degree then it will make you that much more valuable to a girl. Sure girls like guys with skills... but you also have to have the personality to back up those skills. It takes work but its not impossible. Hope I answered your question.

Well, long story short went out with girl... she broke up with me... I joined the Marines... she realized what she lost and missed me a lot. We recently got back together for a round 2 so to speak. Shes in NJ and im in California going to MOS school. Im gonna be out in March 26th and if im lucky ill be stationed in Camp Lejeune, NC. Problem is that it will still be a long distance. Right now 2000+ miles separate us and if I get stationed in NC then 9 hours of driving will separate us. What am I to do? I still have four years left in my contract and I know that I will be going to Iraq in the next year or so. Shes truly in love with me and I dont wanna have her getting the short end of the stick. I feel like if we try and do this then it wouldnt be fair for either of us since we couldnt be together unless she relocated to the town im stationed at (which isnt likely... shes 20 and im gonna be 19, we still have college and stuff to do.) I guess what im asking is if I would be wrong it calling it quits with her and then someday we could have something if its meant to be. Another thing that I am getting a little frustrated with is that she is always talking negative. She really isnt doing that much with her life and it brings her down and then she gets in a negative mood and then im left there going "oh stop it... it will be ok." Im a person who is usually in a good mood and to be with someone who is usually bringing themselves down is something that is getting to me. How should I tell her about how I feel about her bringing herself down? I dont want to seem like im forcing her to change but I know that if she keeps acting this way then I will be forced to call it quits and not even try. Thanks a lot guys.

Hey DE... Perplexed made a good shot at it.. movies isn't like JOOJOO, theyre a decent first date but you could go for something where you wouldnt just be sitting there. If you notice on those date shows like blind date, fifth wheel... etc. (basically any date show) the producers always set them up on an action date. And its their first date... they are able to have a good time... laugh and see the other persons character (cant see that in a movie), and then you can get a bite to eat (optional) and talk. Anything from a diner to applebees is nice. To sum it up... doesnt really matter where you take the lady as long as its not where your date are always at. i.e. you go to the movies your first, second, fourth, and fifth date... she would just get tired of the same thing over and over. Mix up the setting and if you play your cards right it will all turn out in your (and heck.. even her) favor.

Movies should be a last resort. If you can have a date where you can both have a good time and you aren't just sitting there more power to you. BUT if movies is the only option make sure that you grab a bite to eat or coffee... you get the idea. As long as you can have a first date and connect with her on some level then she will be more than willing to have a second date... and maybe even third.

Hey DE... que pasa mufasa? Alright pimp... im gonna break it down for you oorah? Alright here we go. First off... nice job getting her number, by asking her number you have let your interest somewhat known. As far as calling her, call her up a day when you think she will be there to pick up. The first time you call you want to speak to HER and not her answering service. Length of the call should be short and sweet. Get past the formalities of hi, how ya doin... how was your day... yada yada. You want to avoid becoming her 'friend' and then later on making a move and her saying "oh sorry DE... I just saw us as being friends." 5-10 minutes should be good enough. The trick is to set up a get-together of somekind. Maybe movies or something like going ice skating or bowling. At the date you could get to know eachother better. And then after that the rest is up to how things play out. But as far as the present... call her up... set up a date to get to know one another better... and HAVE FUN! Good luck man.