~ † Ahem ... † ~

[Cassie]

These last few days have been incredibly crazy. First I woke up to realize the stock market was crashing. Panic was all over Wall Street as our largest investment firms crumbled under a massive derivatives bubble. I sat transfixed to the television and the computer. It literally felt like watching the fall of the Roman Empire occurring over the internet. The government has since set up hefty bailout packages, and I'm left with a notoriously rotten feeling in my tummy. When did the United States become socialism for the wealthy? They play while we pay. At the current exorbitant rate of our national debt obligations, my children and grandchildren will be born into slavery.

 

No one I talk with here seems to understand what is going on. I took comfort by chatting with a few of my European buddies while my eyes were glued to the tv screen, and derived some comfort from that.

 

It's been four years now since I left Europe. I miss everyone so much!! This year they are getting together in Copenhagen for a huge Christmas bash and I would love to attend. I'm just not sure I'll have the funding to do so. I'm desperately trying to dig myself out of debt this year.

 

Speaking of debt - I consolidated my student loan debt and car loan debt into one payment. If I continue aggressively tackling the balance, I should be debt-free within a year! I'm sooo excited.

 

However, the greater financial instability in the markets is starting to gravely concern me. This has the potential to be supremely bad and can easily spiral into a worldwide depression if our currencies become destabilized. I believe in time the central banks will be completely exposed to the general people - and it's going to be an ugly period. Times are so stressful. I'm so young and yet feel as if my future is so uncertain. Never before have I seen a generation full of such reckless spending.

 

Shamzan wrote me an email today. Sometimes I think he is like a guardian angel. He assured me that, although very rough times may lay ahead, we will emerge stronger and cleansed from all the corruption. He told me I was like an angel for him too, which made me smile.

 

Hopefully by writing my thoughts, I can release some of this anxiety. I'm so proud of myself. I only had ONE cigarette today. Tomorrow I will keep insanely busy and try not to smoke at all. My goals are to get out of debt and kick this yucky smoking habit this year. My health is going to take top priority. I talked with Matty on the phone tonight and we made plans to do a huge food shopping splurge this weekend. I'm going to stock up on all healthy foods - lots of veggies and fruits, chicken, brown rice, etc ...

 

Tomorrow I will also try to avoid the news. Right now I need to focus on building my strength up both mentally and physically.