daphne_girl Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 I hope I get lots of responses, because I really need some serious advice and opinions. Below is my situation. I will try to keep it short, even though it is somewhat complicated, like so many stories on this forum are. I met this guy in the fall of 2004 in a political group that I'm involved in. I got to know him through this group, and I would see him at the various events. In the summer of 2005, he broke up with his girlfriend. He started IM-img me and wanted to start hanging out. We went to see a movie, but it really didn't go any further than that. Although I liked him, I was at that time chasing after someone else (which turned out to be a waste of time), and I was a little scared because I had never really been in a relationship before. So we would chat on IM/send emails every now and then. Fast forward to the summer of 2007. I had been doing some online dating, and was beginning to feel more comfortable dating, and I was thinking about him again. So I IMed him, and we met more coffee. The following week we went out to a bar, he walked me back to my car and kissed me goodnight. It was a pretty intense kiss. So I started seeing him more often -- but, usually during the week--- and he was never really big on calling me up and setting dates. He had let me borrow a book of his; after not hearing from him for a couple weeks, I left the book on his doorstep, figuring that he just wasn't interested. He called me up and wanted to know why I didn't drop off the book in person, and I told him because I thought he wasn't interested in me. He said that wasn't true, he just wasn't looking for anything serious. Now, when I hear this I think that the guy just isn't interested. But I learned after talking to some people that knew him (and he also told me a little about it) that just a couple months prior, he had gone through a really, really bad break up. I think he was going through a phase where he just wanted to date and wasn't looking for a relationship. So we kind of existed somewhere between friends and maybe something more (no sex), but again, I didn't really hear from him on a regular basis. So, here is where the most recent chapter begins. This past April, he invited me over to his house to watch an HBO miniseries. I saw him five weeks in a row. We would sit on the couch, and kuddle, he would touch me, but he never tried to kiss me. I was left wondering if he had feelings for me. I never posed the question, I probably should have. So here is what I want advice on: I am the kind of person that sees things in black and white, with no middle ground. Most likely, I think that this guy is probably just a player, and that he never really had feelings for me, because he never came out and said it and never persued me. But, I find myself thinking about him alot, and wondering, what if he did want something more, was hoping something would happen in April, but thinks he blew it by not trying harder last summer because he was still hurting from the last relationship and wasn't ready? I'm not sure what I should do. I want him, but don't want to look desperate, and I'm afraid that I will look that way. Should I go see him and ask him if he has feelings for me? Or should I just leave things as they are? I need some answers, please. Link to comment
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