blondy Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 So I started a brand new job this week....great benefits, potential for me not only to move up and advance here but to better my education through where I work (they will pay for me to go to school to get my Bachelors Degree) - only thing is, I find myself completely miserable here. I have been working in office jobs since I was 19 (I am now 26) - so really, not that long. But long enough to know I really hate it. To be honest I never really knew what else to do, I've always done admin. work so I just kept going with it, and I majored in Business Administration. It hasnt been a bad first week, but it hasnt been great either. I am exhausted, I am sick and tired of meeting new people every single day, sick of having to converse with total strangers all day long. I run out of things to say, I feel like I just want to be by myself half the time. I feel like I dont fit in with anyone there, granted its only my first week, but it takes me awhile to open up to people. I'm not some anti social freak but I'm on the quite side and shy by nature so this has been kind of a draining week for me. Every other day I have had to go to meetings with 20-30 people I dont even know. I always do better with one-on-one or a few people. In the past my old jobs always involved only working with the same 6 or 7 people everyday and now its like hundreds of them. I just feel trapped. I can keep bouncing around to differnt jobs. I feel like I should be thankful I have this job...I really am lucky I got it. Out of hundreds of applicants they only interviewed three including me, and I am the one who got it. Its a great opportunity for my career. And yet I am miserable. I leave there and think what the f*ck am I doing with my life, I hate this. Going back to school for something else just is not an option right now, I am already paying back two student loans and I have to work full time to pay my bills, have health insurance etc so I cant add anymore loans on. I dont really know where I'm going with this...I think more than anything I just want to vent to whoever happens to read this post. I'm wondering if anyone else out there feels this way about working in an office. It just depresses me. I hate the cubicles, the white walls, the monotony of it all, the b*tchy office women who talk about everyone and cause nothing but drama, and I hate the token 'birthday party' where someone brings in a cake and they all hand out pieces of cake and we just stand around and pretend like we give a crap. I hate the boring meetings and the fake small talk, where you can't really be yourself or share a whole lot because it gets repeated anyways. Or the whispering over the next cubicle when you hear your name and you wonder if and WHY their talking about you, like you aren't RIGHT THERE. Its the same everywhere, I really thought this place would be different but of course, it is not. I am aware that I sound horribly negative right now. I hope this post doesnt sound totally off the wall. I need to vent. I know its only my first week, obviously I've got to give it some time. I know so many people who work in offices and they are completely happy, they love it. They love their jobs! So the problem is me. I'm either blowing things way out of proportion or I am just going against what I'm really meant to do. Maybe a little of both. Thanks for whoever is reading this, if you've read all the way to here I commend you for your patience. =) Link to comment
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