Poem I wrote today.

[j.man]

It's pretty long, there's a back story to it but I'm hoping you can get the gist of it by reading it.

 

I visited your mother the other day

And on the mantle your picture lay

Hair trimmed tight, smiling bright

Standing proudly in your uniform

Just an image to keep her warm

I looked at her as she looked at me

We both bear the difficulty

In eachother's eyes we only see you

We relive the suffering we've both gone through

 

What I once would have given to have been there

To have had that one final moment to share

To have put my hand in your hair

To have witnessed your fading stare

To have grasped your quivering hand

To have given you comfort as you lie in the sand

To have assured you that we would soon be home

Never to hint you would soon die alone

 

You were my hero, you gave me strength

Though you'd seen what I'd seen, your smile never lost length

You were my friend, my brother with a gun

Though you'd done what I'd done, your eyes shone like the sun

You never hated, you never lost temper

When all I could feel was paramount anger

It was something I was so glad and disparaged to see

A level of perfection I could only aspire to be

Not seeing the mask, the unwillingness for the task

 

I heard the news that your life was fading

Words going up and down, my hopes barely wading

With the end of your span, you were but a man

You were supposed to save me, how could you perish?

Your common thoughts and experiences I was supposed to cherish

Instead you left me, alone with my life

Alone to live with my internal strife

Against the demons, my confidence and will you were supposed to aid

Overwhelmed and beaten, with your death did they fade

Just another soldier dead, a statistic, a number

Among the countless many to violently enter the slumber

My eyes could do nothing but stare wide that night

You were supposed to be the good to return from that land

Damned, you fell, to be absorbed by the blood, the cries, the sand

 

The words your mother would say that following day will never stray

To hear that what I'd seen in you was but a fraction of what you saw in me

That to you, I was everything a hero could be

To feel the pain, the sorrow, the suffering

To endure, adapt, and maintain my being

While all you could do was smile, your mask glued strong

Never to reveal to anybody that anything was wrong

I aspired to someday accept their faces

While you relied on God's saving graces

To know the confidence, the man I could be

How disappointed you'd be if you'd have seen me

A family maimed, a friendship mutually used, a love badly damaged

My life drowned in immense self-pity

All because I was unwilling to dig up your grave

And reclaim the confidence and faith that I gave

 

There was so much we had hoped to do

I would be your best man, as you married the woman you loved so true

To see eachother happy, friends growing older

Bound by more than just the bowels of humanity and a patch on our shoulders

I wish I could have introduced you to her

A friend to share my interests and those I love with

But it cannot be, I can't allow you to dwell within me

Once a hero, then a crutch, now simply a memory

Your life has long since ended, mine can no longer be suspended

The sands have taken you, but they will never have me

I have the opportunity to build a life happily

To pursue my prosperity, the objectives and people I love dearly

Where I once stumbled blindly, my confidence guides me clearly

You're the final spec of sand I brush from my heart

As we both travel onward, worlds apart

 

Soldier, you're a friend no longer

You've served your purpose and I have grown stronger

With my final salute, I bid you farewell

No longer in my heart may you dwell

Tucked deep in my memories is where you will stay

Never again to influence my day

The link has been severed, the desert is but a landscape

Through your life, death, and memory, you have aided my escape

 

We've both found peace.

Sleep tight.

[SapphireNoir10]

Thats one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read.

[tina-rocks]

Heck I was sure I would not cry today.

[Aviatormy]

WOW! From a fellow soldier..... Great poem. Couldnt have been any sadder while having so much happiness in the context. I am very impressed. Great job! May he R.I.P.!

 

Andrew

[tiredofvampires]

I find this absolutely heartbreaking -- and deeply disturbing.

 

It's a powerful and evocative piece, filled with tragedy. But it seems there is an even worse tragedy that is not apparent in the poem directly. That's where your backstory is, I imagine.

 

I feel myself wondering what happened here...what happened between the brotherly love and the end of that, which is evident at the end. This is not just a poem about the "ultimate sacrifice" -- this is about someone who has banished another from their heart, and I find that an even greater tragedy somehow.