Fighting for it.

[pboy]

do you believe in fighting for love?

 

I dont even know if this is in the right area, so im sorry if it isnt. and i dont even know where to begin, but i'll try and avoid a very lengthy post.

a friend and i were once 'involved' with each other, but that slowly started to taper out. it was clear we were friends, but sometimes we would act like FWB or even a couple. she was still torn and getting over a very lengthy bad relationship with her ex, and i respected that and knew that 'whatever' we had wouldnt go further than the attraction we had towards each other...at least at that point.

i work on call, so that means if i dont get called in, i dont get paid. i live 2 hours away from her, but im 90% always in her area because thats where my friends and everything else are, but ive driven just to see her tons of times. back in late May, i stopped getting called in for work, and basically i havent seen her in 2 months. 2 long months, and its harsh. i saw her the other day when i had some money, and it was just different. she said she had a bad day; but i wrote her about it...and she said that maybe her feelings arent the same for me anymore because she hasnt seen me in a while.

 

is it possible that the feelings will come back if she saw me more again? we used to see each other almost every weekend.

 

i care DEEPLY for this girl. if you guys only knew the things ive done for her...i mean i care VERY DEEPLY for her...and i guess it all matches the definition of "love". yes, i love her as a friend, but more than that. no, we werent in a relationship, but we both wanted to see "where we would go"...and maybe i wanted things to turn out more than she did.

 

i just read what she wrote me, and im crying. i dont know if shes saying " i dont know if i like you anymore" or "i dont like you anymore"....but im just hurt and more lost than before.i REALLY want her to have feelings for me again, and i know you cant force that...but we just had so much that i felt "she was the one"...if not now, then a little later.

 

ive heard and know all the things i "should hear", and everything i "want to hear"...but please... someone say something.

 

do you believe that things like this are worth fighting for? even if just for a chance??

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am not sure why you couldn't see her if you weren't getting called in for work...or why she couldn't come to see you. If someone can feel differently just because they haven't seen the other person in two months then I would say that their feelings were very superficial to begin with. Two months of not seeing each other would not kill feelings that were strong. Is she worth fighting for...well..your physical presense is not going to make her suddenly love you in any meaningful way..it will just spark her sexual interest. What you might want to do is tell her that you would like to have a solid official relationship with her and see what she says. If no then back away. True love comes together in the end...if it doesn't then it was never true love.

[pboy]

thank you Crazy, and i understand 100% of what youre saying. i work on call, so if i dont get called in, i dont get paid. for someone my age, i handle TONS of financial responsibility (i support my family). she cant come to see me because she also lost her job and got her car stolen.

im not hoping that once i show up, her feelings will be back. although that would be great. i just feel its a 1 way thing. i would do ANYTHING for her...and i have. and she even told me once that maybe i like her more than she likes me, and i know she doesnt want a relationship right now...but whatever we have/had..i miss.

i just dont know how to get over her if i need to. i would try NC, but i care too much for her. i want/need to know how she is doing on the daily. and besides, i have to see her at least once a month anyways; we're in the same social circle.

i care madly for her. and idk if she sees it or not, or even cares..but thats another thing what i meant by "fighting for it". is it worth it?

im only 23...but im tired of trying for my heart.

im not a good looking guy; but she doesnt care about that. i really want her, and i want her bad; more than anyone else.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Sometimes NC is the best alternative. Sure it is painful but as time goes on the pain reduces to a dull background ache. You can't do much if she doesn't feel anything for you. It takes two to fight for a relationship.