F.U. Loneliness.

[KG]

Am tired of this. Everyone else has someone. I have no one. Nobody to hold, to desire, to talk about my feelings, or to share quality time with. I am so sick of being alone all the time. Might as well move into a monestary. I have never felt so alone in my life. SUCKS!

[ImThatGirl]

I'm sorry that you feel bad, KG.... Funny how no matter how busy we try to stay, it hits us anyway...

 

Sending hugs your way...

[CatsMeeoow]

I am equally alone KG. I know what an emotional roller coaster life has been for you and your family in this past time.

 

It seems so lame to say that Good Things Come To Those Who Wait... or All In Good Time... which obivously sounded good to someone once to become such a coined phrase.

 

I know when I felt at my worst I threw myself into my family life - it was just me and my son. He went through his own difficult time being diagnose with Autism around then as well. I stopped thinking so much about myself and worked endlessly to open doors to my son ---- it paid off two fold... 1) my son who is doing so much better is mainstreamed in first grade now... unless you spend a lot of time with my son you wouldn't suspect he isn't your average 1st grader and 2) I got a wonderful love in my life when I wasn't even looking [of course I'm here because I lost that love, but I had my eyes opened into what I was truly looking for]

 

Find some other focous and look for joy in life elsewhere and the rest they say will be a piece of cake.

 

Hugs to you!

[KG]

And don't even get me started about intimacy....screw this life alone. I want someone.

[Jeen]

And don't even get me started about intimacy....screw this life alone. I want someone.

 

Lol

KG I know it is not something to laugh about and it is hard to be alone in life, it is the way I like to live my life, many day's a guy will hit on me and I would ask, what made him do it I think a lot depends on the way a person respond to someone els in normal day life (Like when you go shopping). The way you look and sometimes smile at someone when you are interested or not. KG I've seen your photo's and you are a handsome guy you should maybe look in how to flirt with with your eyes and body to get a girls attention.

 

Have you googled the art of flirting.

 

(( Hugs ))

[delphi88]

Hey, I know exactly how you feel, have felt v alone myself for quite a long time. The trouble is that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more sad you get about it, the more withdrawn you become, the more lonely you get. Look for things to do that involve meeting new people - throwing yourself into new social situations can be scary but will be worthwhile in the long run. And I know it's easy to say, but you won't feel like it for ever. Most people have lonely periods in their life, but you never know what will happen in the future, especially if you put yourself out there and try to have fun x

[thejigsup]

KG, man, I think you're really starting to heal. Good for you! I always tell you that you will make some woman very lucky. I think it is time for you to put a plan in action to do just that!

[KG]

KG, man, I think you're really starting to heal. Good for you! I always tell you that you will make some woman very lucky. I think it is time for you to put a plan in action to do just that!

 

Over the summer I had a plan, of sorts. NO women from bars, but went to the weekly outdoor concert series. Got involved with a bit of volunteer work here in town. A bit more active with a reading group at the library. And I am not shy, actually a pretty good conversationalist. Dressed casual, looked presentable. Got NOWHERE. Any woman without a ring already had a B/F, or had just gotten out of a relationship, or was gay.

 

So I'm just going to have my own pity party for awhile. And put away those rose colored glasses.

[metrogirl]

Aww KG, I'm sending hugs your way as well.

 

The right person usually comes along when we stop looking for them.

[KG]

Aww KG, I'm sending hugs your way as well.

 

The right person usually comes along when we stop looking for them.

 

Well, Ive stopped. I'm going to embrace the lonelinesss I guess. Been theough worse.

[itsallgrand]

KG,

 

I know it's not the same. The same kind of loneliness you are talking about, and aloneness.

 

But I look at that picture you have up, and how hard you've worked for your son through the sh/est days of your life - and if he had any idea at all that you were going through this, what do you think he would want you to know?

 

That he loves you like crazy and you will never be all alone so long as he is around.

 

Well anyways that's what I think.

 

Everyone is entitled to their pity parties now and then. While you are going through it though, wanted to let you know I care. This too will pass and life will be waiting for you patiently.

 

your friend, S.

[Ftheworld]

Am tired of this. Everyone else has someone. I have no one. Nobody to hold, to desire, to talk about my feelings, or to share quality time with. I am so sick of being alone all the time. Might as well move into a monestary. I have never felt so alone in my life. SUCKS!

 

Not everyone else has someone. I used to think and complain like you...until I opened my eyes. And realized that a "relationship" is NOT the answer to happiness. Go to the relationships forum. Take a look at the "relationships" around you. The majority 99% of them are bs filled with conflicts, fighting, cheating and phony temporary feelings that will fade with time.

 

Better off alone than miserable with someone. Just remember KG, there is a poor dude or gal out there who wishes he or she were alone and away from that nagging annoying chick or guy.

[istillluvu06]

It's kinda true, when we are in a relationship there's conflict, then when we are heartbroken......well we are just heartbroken. Never seems to be a happy medium. I guess I'm gonna be alone for awhile. Didn't think things would end up this way at 42 but looks like it's how it is. Some days I think yea I can be alone it's ok, And the next I feel horribly lonely and miss my ex.

[jojesse]

I understand how you feel. I'm so tired of this loneliness - no one to share with, no one to talk to, no one to cuddle and hold.

 

On the bright side, at least this means I'm finally over the ex and journeying to the other side.

[Belgian girl]

I'm sry to hear. I feel lonely as well often. Or well, I try not to remark it and keep on being busy and content with myself and remember the feelings of feeling very connected with people I cared much for and that it was in return. Think for a part it's to fill with caring for animals and child/family. I hate it not to share my deepest thoughts and feelings as well. But of course want to do it with someone I really love.

[Belgian girl]

I understand how you feel. I'm so tired of this loneliness - no one to share with, no one to talk to, no one to cuddle and hold.

 

On the bright side, at least this means I'm finally over the ex and journeying to the other side.

 

there, there (})

[seeking_truth86]

KG, why do you need to depend on someone else to make you happy? Do you not see how this has reduced you to and how your emotions are shot down? I know exactly how you feel, I really do. I have been alone my entire life and still am. I am the rejection king, not many women are willing to date me, but I have ran into the selected few. You should change your attitude to more of a jerk toward women, but not too much. Give it a few runs so you can test it out and be amazed how it works. I first started this when some of my friends opened up stating that I was too nice, and no girl really finds that attractive because there is no power/strength for women to sense. From my personal experience, being a nice guy truly made me feel horrible, so I finally came to conclusions to let it go.

[thejigsup]

KG, you are one of those posters on ENA that I admire the most. While going through the worst, you always gave your best. You must be an awesome human being! Maybe you should post an ad online: Awesomely kind, intelligent, devoted, honest male seeks woman of same values. Object; a lifetime of happiness. Must love kids. I bet you will get so many responses you will have your pick. Now try it.

[metrogirl]

KG, you are one of those posters on ENA that I admire the most. While going through the worst, you always gave your best. You must be an awesome human being! Maybe you should post an ad online: Awesomely kind, intelligent, devoted, honest male seeks woman of same values. Object; a lifetime of happiness. Must love kids. I bet you will get so many responses you will have your pick. Now try it.

 

That was a really nice post.

 

And she is correct. I bet there are a handful of women that just want a decent, kind, family oriented man.

[istillluvu06]

Definatley, you are a catch and don't even recognize it....Start seeing it.

[stella777]

oh honey I am so sorry. I was like this for YEARS! and recently I had 5 month in my life that I had NO ONE! seriously no one! I was almost all alone all days and nights! It sucked so badly, but when I was so sad and depressed and couldn't tolerate it anymore everything changed. So hang in there. But the most important thing is you learn how to enjoy your life even when you are lonely! seriously, if you don't do that you will force yourself to stay in relationships which are not ideal in any way!

[winter whiteout]

KG I know how you feel. I felt like you did for many years and then when I was 35 I met the man of my dreams and we got married 2 years later. We had a great marriage for a while, then we started having major problems. I tried to solve them with him always at the front of my mind but his idea of solving our problems was to not confront me and to start seeing someone he works with. He left me one night when I came home from being out and all his things were gone with a note saying he wants a divorce and that there was no one else. Not only was there someone else, he got engaged to her 1 week after he left me. The whole time we were separated which was almost 2 years he was making wedding plans with her. Talk about pain. We had our divorce final this past May and he got married in June. He is off in another state with her while I am still alone after this all happened 2.5 years ago. I am in my 40's and it is hard to find love again. I was lonely when I met my ex husband and was so happy for a while. Now I am back to being lonely again but this time with the memory of my ex husband, the man I loved so much who decided the end our marriage because he met the "real" woman of his dreams. After going throught this I kind of wish I just stayed single all this time. Just being lonely did not hurt as much as losing my husband.

[KG]

KG, you are one of those posters on ENA that I admire the most. While going through the worst, you always gave your best. You must be an awesome human being! Maybe you should post an ad online: Awesomely kind, intelligent, devoted, honest male seeks woman of same values. Object; a lifetime of happiness. Must love kids. I bet you will get so many responses you will have your pick. Now try it.

 

Thanks for the kind responses. I am not shopping for a wife, but some female companionship, to see where it may lead.

 

Jigsup...will try to compose something this evening, and run it in a few papers. You gave me a good start...thanks!

KG

[Dagless]

I wish I had some great advice KG but to be honest I don't. Getting out there and meeting people has never been my strong point and I dont want to say anything as cliché as "These things take time" but what I will say is this; believe in your own ability to be loved and that you are worthy of love. Believe that you will one day you will fall in love again and until that day you will leave your heart open to the possibility.

[tiredofvampires]

Thanks for the kind responses. I am not shopping for a wife, but some female companionship, to see where it may lead.

 

Jigsup...will try to compose something this evening, and run it in a few papers. You gave me a good start...thanks!

KG

 

I'm glad you are open to this, KG. I'm glad jigsup put it in a way that has motivated you to do this, which I have been urging.

 

While I think it's true to some extent that "love comes when you're least looking," it's not entirely true either.

 

If a person stays within their known routine, or stays home a lot, chances are they are going to continue to get what they are getting. I don't believe prospective partners just fall out of the sky in your path MOST of the time. When that happens, and it is the right person, that's one of those blue moons. Most of us have to do a bit of footwork.

 

I'm very lonely now, too. But the thing about it this time around is that I realize it's self-imposed, and because of that, I am as you say "embracing it." I'm not in a position to seek someone out now -- I want there to be more solidity under my feet, I want my mood and health and life balance to be more even-keel before I go out there again. Because I want to give my best to someone. And while I feel I have all the ingredients to be a loving and loyal partner, I first have to fill my "tank." I am reconciled to it, which is why I'm not complaining about the feeling of loneliness -- I know that it's something I can do something about (in the sense of a partner) when I decide the time is right. Right now the thought overwhelms me, because I know I'll be facing the possible rejections, the wrong matches, the comparing the people I meet to what I feel I really need. And I'm not ready for that; in the meantime, I have a lot to do, and other ways to connect with people. That's like the bargain I've struck with myself, that if I want to hold out for lightening to strike, and to give it the chance, I take the loneliness as a given in the meantime, and so it's tolerable.

 

This is MY situation. I don't think it's yours. Yours is that you are ready to seek this out, you've got a lot in place and all that remains is that you start to become proactive and not spin your wheels just feeling miserable.

 

If you REALLY, REALLY want something in this life, I believe it's usually possible to achieve. At least in finding the quality and type of relationships you want, because you are the agent. I don't believe that people just have "bad luck" in love -- I mean, sometimes, yes, there are unfortunate ways things turn out, such as the way I was deceived last time. But I also had a hand in it, by staying with someone who was not respecting me. And now, I can't say I'm just unlucky because no one I meet is available or eligible, even though that's the truth. I don't expect to get "lucky" if I just sit on my ass either and watch cars go by, standing on the same corner. I have to get off that corner and find another one.

 

It's all to your credit that you've done some activities that might be conducive to meeting women, that's a great start! But again you, like I, live in a place where we are not inundated every day with a smorgasbord of fabulous choices of singles. I recognized this "unfortunate", "unlucky" state of affairs a long time ago. You live in a place where it's fairly provincial and so do I (even though mine is more urban). This IS something out of our immediate control; the guys here are either 80% ethnically not a compatible match for me (done it, tried it, tried it again and again, doesn't work), are outdoorsy freaks (which I'm not), in the military (which I won't do), conservative businessmen, or dread-locked hippies who just want to lie on the beach and surf and smoke pot. How am I gonna find that ONE person in this population (which is also now surrounded by at least 2,500 miles of water 360 degrees around so we're all trapped here together) that wants what I want, that loves and shares many things with me AND is compatible with me emotionally, is physically attractive to me and I have a true heart-soul connection with?

 

I almost feel like giving up at this point, but I haven't. I'm just in a cocoon.

 

And I also believe that when I make the effort, I'm going to make it in a big way. I'm going to seek out someone anywhere in the world, not just here, because this is too limited. So that's how I deal with the hand I've been served...it's not a lucky one. But it's not something out of my control either. (This is, of course, if the preferred road of "happenstance" doesn't produce anything along the way.)

 

So I think what I'm finally coming down to say here in this post is that you've got to keep persevering. You can't just try a few dates and give up. A few dead ends and give up. A few club events, and give up. A few ads and give up. You are going to have to go into this with the intention of PERSEVERANCE. That's what is called for when you live in a small, rural town where most women are married off with families and the rest are gay or otherwise not your type.

 

I'm glad you'll be posting something in the paper. But I also suggest dating sites, with stating your intentions as just companionship for now. A lot of women are in a parallel boat to you, and that would appeal to them.

 

I think a lot of women could be compatible with you. You're a man with good solid values, and are a pillar of loyalty and loving devotion. Once you put yourself out there through NUMEROUS CHANNELS, you will find more than you bargained for. I'm willing to bet on it. The more different places you sign up a membership or put an ad, the more you increase your chances of a great hit. Keep that in mind.

 

I'm glad you've decided to do this!! If you need an editor, or someone to run it by, just hollar. I've done a lot of profile advising for friends.