hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I've been dating my boyfriend for two years, and the other day we watched porn together. (i am somewhat jealous so this is a big step for me, and i initiated it). however, it was a site that he had visited before and at the end of the video a window popped up that said he could find singles to talk to live on webcam in [his exact city]. I asked him immediately if he had registered for the website (which was affiliated with this porn website and designed to basically hook people up) and he said he hadn't. A few days later I remembered the incident and decided to look it up and see if my own city would pop up from my computer. It didn't. So I tried registering for the site, and it did pop up. Do you think that it's possible that his ip address was identifiable while mine wasn't? Or that he is just a cheating scumbag liar? Thanks so much for reading this. I'll appreciate any input. Link to comment
Samedy Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Sites can easily determine what city you are in by looking up your IP address. Link to comment
LYC Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Noooo, it happens to me and I am as anti-porn as they come. no one gets on my laptop except for me. It pops up all the time that people in your city are single and online waiting to chat and blah blah. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I think you should trust your boyfriend on this one. Porn sites are notorious for pop-ups anyway. Does he give you any reason to worry? If not, let it go. I honestly can't believe you would jump right into him being a "cheating liar scumbag" because of this. You are creating a fight over nothing! Are you looking for a reason to end the relationship? Link to comment
MattyG Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 hopelesslee, I wouldnt go so far as to say that he's a scumbag or anything but to be honest with you he's probably not doing anything. To tell you the truth most of those sites and pop ups are more of a joke than they are substance. I mean im not a huge porn addict but I know the kind of stuff your talking about. I cant tell you about the IP adress im not to savy with computers but I can say if it was meI wouldnt worry to much about it. Link to comment
LYC Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I think you should trust your boyfriend on this one. Porn sites are notorious for pop-ups anyway. Does he give you any reason to worry? If not, let it go. I honestly can't believe you would jump right into him being a "cheating liar scumbag" because of this. You are creating a fight over nothing! Are you looking for a reason to end the relationship? wow, that was a harsh attack on the OP. I would be worried too if I didnt know for sure. she didnt state that she said anything to her BF about it, she just wanted to know what the deal was with this. chill out Link to comment
sophie274 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 wow, that was a harsh attack on the OP. I would be worried too if I didnt know for sure. she didnt state that she said anything to her BF about it, she just wanted to know what the deal was with this. chill out I am very chill and did not mean it as an attack at all. But she said herself that she was very jealous and I think she needs to tread carefully before she accuses her boyfriend of anything. The reason I said something about trying to end the relationship is because I read the OP's thread posted a few months ago saying that she could not find the courage to break up but wanted to ... so I am curious. Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Thanks so much for the fast replies...I feel so much better now... And, I definitely haven't said anything to my bF yet...I wanted some second opinions first. The window wasn't exactly a pop-up...but the reason it concerned me was when i "registered" for the site to see if it would then state my correct city, i put a zipcode completely different from my own, and it then said that i should meet singles in that city. It just seemed like you needed to register for that portion of the site in order for it to come up...does that make sense? Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 and also to sophie274....I am sort of apt to get upset with him because I feel like I have given him a lot of chances when he does ambiguous things that could be taken as very mean to me. But I'm not going to break up with him, I just don't want to be an oblivious fool...you know? Link to comment
caro33 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 LYC, I actually tend to agree with sophie, there was a huge jump to "cheating, lying scumbag" anf it does cause me to also wonder if the OP has other reservations about her boyfriend. hopelesslee, I can see your concern but I think that if this is all there is, as in, he is not doing anything else to raise your concern, then try and forget about it. Don't raise it with him. The internet is full of insidious and creepy ways for people to get into your computer and make things look personal. Is he doing anything else of concern to you? EDIT: just saw your last post - what ambiguous things does he do? Link to comment
sophie274 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 and also to sophie274....I am sort of apt to get upset with him because I feel like I have given him a lot of chances when he does ambiguous things that could be taken as very mean to me. But I'm not going to break up with him, I just don't want to be an oblivious fool...you know? Definitely! But you know, if you feel like he is mean to you, that is plenty of reason to end the relationship - it doesn't have to be over something "dramatic" like infidelity, which is not the reason most relationships end. Just wanted to throw that in. In the end, if you are not happy, it doesn't make any difference what we here on ENA say! Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 My advice...register for the site, then use their search engine (all dating websites have that) to look up people. Look up someone with ur boyfriends specs (such as age, hair color, eye color, LOCATION, ethnicity and astrological sign)...but don't put anything tooo tooo specific...like don't put hobbies or anything because that can sometimes exclude ur boyfriend. Just put very basic stuff (everything that i listed should suffice) Look through all the profiles that appear. If ur boyfriend isn't there, then chances are it was a random popup. Update me! (i have personal interest in this because my boyfriend actually has used these sites....ALOT...behind my back..) Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 No, he's not doing anything else atm. However, the reason this upset me particularly was because I found out that he was frequently watching porn (he claimed to never watch porn even though I said it was okay) by something that accidentally popped up on his computer. I confronted him about it and he completely denied it until monthes later when he admitted to it guiltily. And I mean, if it's just porn...it's not that big of a deal to me. But registering for a site to meet random people to have sex chats with is another thing entirely...and it's a possibility I don't want to ignore.... Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 I did do that, and tried to look for him...but there were soooo many people in his area. Like 100,000. I mean, I am kind of psycho and all but I don't think I can make it through that volume of people lol. Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 if anyone else wants to try it and see if the website identifies them....lol it's link removed. and you just click to the end of the video and it will say on the screen "find singles in [insert your city]" or in my case at first it was blank.... hahaha not to send you guys to unwanted porn sites or anything lol but just if you want to try it.... Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Which website is it? Do u know his postal code? alot of the time u can really narrow ur search down if ur know the postal code. Also his astrological sign would help. Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 it's link removed...and the thing comes up at the end of a video when you watch it. (or scroll to the end haha). I did use his postal code, and it still came up with a ton of people --and the ambiguous things that he did were...lying to me about porn, being extremeeeely and irrationally jealous (like if I know some guy just from somwhere and he says hello to me, my boyfriend will get really mad and think im flirting with the guy behind his back), and other kinda random stuff here and there. Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 please don't tell me he's a 23 year old man who still lives with his mom (and has no job and is not in school) and his dad is some deadbeat....because that sounds sooo much like my current boyfriend. Honestly, the jelousy is a sign u should leave. It will only get worse. He will try to control what u wear, where u go, who u see etc etc. My boyfriend gets mad at everything, even if i didn't do anything and i have no guy friends, he checks my phone bill at the end of the month to see who called and who i called, he checks my e-mail, he goes through my purse and wallet etc etc. Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 No...he's really really nice usually. Like there are so many good things about him, and I consider him my best friend. He's never actually said anything mean to me or to me...never called me names or anything. He acts really obsessed with me and in love with me, and I always considered that jealousy to be out of love. Do you think that he's so jealous about things because he is cheating and is worried that I could be doing the same thing to him? Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Interesting....i tried it and it actually had the correct city for me :S. Find a Sex Partner in: and then it has two photos of different girls with their age and location. The location is correct for me. Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 oh my gosh. wow. thank you so much for doing that. i owe you big time....wow. wow. let me know if i can do anything for you!! Link to comment
h0pelessr0mantic Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 awww np. I completely understand how it feels, if u need to know anything more about these sites just ask me (i've become an expert...and not really by choice if u know what i mean). Link to comment
hopelesslee Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 thanks sooooo much again....keep in touch Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Well it didn't bring my city up (small city I live in) but the nearest larger city it did bring up. So your boyfriend is in the clear on this one. Link to comment
Angel_baby Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 we watch porn whether you like it or not That's actually not true. My husband rarely watches porn and when he does it is with me. I don't have a problem with porn but he just never has watched it. AND I do know this for a fact. But I do agree that it is kind of extreme to be thinking porn is cheating or to just get overly jealous about porn (unless the guy is addicted to it). Link to comment
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