Need some insight

[Marus]

Hello again friends. I've been in NC for 15 days, pretty much since I joined the forums. There are times when I don't adhere to it completely. By this I mean that I check on my ex's journal to see if anything interesting has happened and to test me to see how I've been progressing.

 

Just this past week I found that she had unblocked me. That made me happy and it didn't feel a need to contact her about anything. I went to an orientation, had some fun and posted about it in my own journal. I mention something about dancing and swing. The next day on her journal she posts a long rant that includes her wanting to learn some swing steps.

 

Unfortunately, when I read the bit there were some male names that I didn't recognize and fear pulled at my chest and a desire to contact her and ask about the people rose up inside me. Instead of that I came here to post and see what you think of it. I'm most likely grasping at straws and definitely have a way to go before I'm over her, judging from my reaction to her post.

 

I feel from reading the journal post that she is still thinking of me. She can't contact me though, I blocked that avenue for my own sake. Let me know what you think.

[fleck1234]

I say stop worrying about her and what she is doing. You are doing NC to heal and move on, stop looking at her sites and stop wondering about her. It only hurts you more and sets you back. Keep busy, keep your mind off of her. You will get better, it just takes time.

[DrPhil]

Stop reading the journal. Just like myspace..facebook..it's EVIL.

 

As soon as you read something you don't like, you get this urge to call them and ask them what's up. Doing so could make things worse. No matter what happened in your relationship and why it ended, you need to give her space too and don't appear to be stalking her.

 

I know, harder said than done...but it's easier not knowing, than to know.

[Marus]

Yeah, I resisted the urge to do any calling or stuff of that sort. I'm not sure if it hurts me more. It hurts certainly, but I should be able to look without it hurting. Thats the point of the NC. In all appearances I don't exist in her world at all.

 

It really is harder said then done to just get rid of her from my mind. I'm trying my darndest.