thekid55 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 If anyone has ever read any of my posts, just like everyone else, I'm looking for advice with relationship. My first relationship that brought me here was a 2 year long relationship that ended when I left home for college. I was absolutely devastated. Mind you that I am a teenager and most people on this site have more life experience than I do. When (let's call her girl A), broke up with me, I was completely devastated. I begged, pleaded, cried, etc...anything to get her back and it just wouldn't work. I even showed up at her work to see her...she made plans with me and got cold feet right before. :splat: This heartache I had probably lasted a good 4 months... I look back on this time and I realize that I wasted 4 months of my life. At the same, I can't say that I totally regret it. This relationship ending opened up a lot of new doors for me. I met a ton of great people at my college. I got involved in activities and even got into really good shape. I took care of myself. I got me back. After I got myself back, I started to attract new girls at college. Girls of all different sorts while Girl A was slowly being erased from my thoughts. I had a relationship at school in the spring with Girl B which I still cherish even though that it's over. But here is my revelation: Last night, I went to the All-Star game. I was with my best friend from home. Having a great time...one of the best nights of my life. Girl A (original girl who brought me to ENA), has been texting me the last few nights asking if I had been at the HR derby and all-star game. I've replied with one more messages...until I received this text from her randomly around 12 AM.... "you know there hasn't been a day when i haven't thought about you" After I read this, I thought to myself, I would have given anything to hear that 6 months ago...but I almost feel bad for her now. No one would believe what she put me through after the breakup and she was texting me saying this now. After all this time, that text meant nothing as I no longer feel for her anymore. If she truly thought of my positively, she wouldn't have put me through that. My point with this post: I know that a lot of us are going through tough breakups, but when you look back on them, they happened for a reason. A reason that you may not have been able to control. Better things will fall into place for you. Take my word for it... While I may be young, I can guarantee everyone one thing, No bit of begging, pleading, convincing, or reasoning will bring someone back...you have to let go and that very same person might come back to you one day...the question is, How far past the breakup will you allow yourself to be? Link to comment
j0shua Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 "you know there hasn't been a day when i haven't thought about you" After I read this, I thought to myself, I would have given anything to hear that 6 months ago...but I almost feel bad for her now. No one would believe what she put me through after the breakup and she was texting me saying this now. After all this time, that text meant nothing as I no longer feel for her anymore. If she truly thought of my positively, she wouldn't have put me through that. yeah, they arent good w/ the timing are they? like someone has said, "if they were the one, then they would still be with you, wouldnt they?" yeah. good to hear your doing good man, keep it up! Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Great words - i know all this but i am still hurting. I just can ;t seem to let go but I know i have to. 6 weeks of NC and 6 months since the break up - its so painful to think he never really loved me that much. I am nearly double your age but the pain doens;t get easier with age Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 Time does heal all wounds HoTung. Just keep at it and keep your mind busy. Get yourself back! No one will love you unless you love yourself first unconditionally! Link to comment
Darryl2312 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Wise words for one so young, cheers buddy ! Hope you enjoyed the game ! Link to comment
mca1975 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Thank you for posting that Kid55, I hope I get to that stage soon and that better things are in store.. Link to comment
Godwin Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I couldn't agree more with that. 10 Years ago when I was 20 I split with my first love. She went off with someone else soon after we split. We were together 1.5 years. At that time I was literally devastated. I had no confidence, self esteem and was really depressed. I used to see them out ALL the time, was a nightmare. 3 years later I meet my now ex. I fell in love straight away. We were in heaven. Around that time I was out with my friends at a nightclub and who do I meet but my first love. She was onto me like a rash, talking about how much she regretted things and how she would love a chance but knew I was seeing someone. This is the girl that broke my heart, that devastated me. But I couldn't have cared less. Gave me a slight ego boost but that was it. My point is, who knows what the future holds? Dont go looking for it and it might come. My my current ex come back to me? I doubt it, she is too stubborn. Who knows though? Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 It weird we know all the answers but yet we still reel from the pain. I don;t think my ex will ever come back yet I still have a tiniest bit of hope. I keep thinking about him everyday - driving myself nuts - and when i don;t think about him -i wonder why and go back to thinking about him Do you think they still think about us? Link to comment
thekid55 Posted July 17, 2008 Author Share Posted July 17, 2008 If the relationship was something meaningful to them, they will still think of you. I mean, it does depend on how things ended and the cause of the breakup. Cheating, lying, etc are good ways to be completely forgotten. My ex who I was in love with for over a year, told me yesterday through the text that she thinks about me everyday. Whether I believe that or not, I really don't care because I'm over her and if she did care, she wouldn't have done what she did. Funny how things work out over time. Now with my more recent college girl, we decide to take a break over a month ago, but she is slowly starting to make her way back into the picture. She is doing all the contacting and I don't play games with answering. I just treat her like any other friend. While I do want to be more than friends, I don't get on the emotional side of things when we talk....just talk about our days, etc. Fun things. I've gotten myself back and thats all I could hope for. I don't secretly hope for future events to occur because I believe that our lives are pre-planned and what's meant to happen, will. Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Did she want to get back together with you? And that's insane, she said that to you after she went through all those guys, said she didn't want to talk to you, and put you through all of that pain. But I was just wondering if she wanted to get back together with you? I didn't fully understand, but still an awesome comeback story for sharing. Link to comment
Starrgrl Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Well it's been 9 months since I dumped my ex and I still think about him quite abit everyday. I think if you really loved them, you can't just get over them that quick. (you're so lucky you're over her) Guy was my first love, think it takes longer to get over first loves right? =/ Link to comment
ManuelJ Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Wow. Funny the way life unfolds. That's probably the way my ex has felt whenever I texted her telling her how much it hurt when she left me lol Not giving a * * * * Link to comment
italiannmf24 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 This post is still inpsiring to this day. I read this and other posts to get myself out of a funk here and there with my first ex, and it still helps me out with my current situation. +1 to thekid. Really getting ahold of things now-a-days. Link to comment
NANNYSTUDENT Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 I really needed to read this tonight. I am 4 mos post break up of a 4 year relationship. And we lived together for all of those years except 9 mos. And my ex who is 24 is dating a high school girl. I just feel like I am on my knees and will never let him go. We have been invovled with each other for 9 years and now we do not even speak. I just keep waiting to get better and I haven't. And I am still clinging to the bit of hope that he will someday understand how much he has hurt me and say ANYTHING in the form of an apology. But I feel right now as if I do not even matter. There was no lying, no cheating, just two people who started to grow apart. And now I have watched him become someone I do not even know anymore. It is incredibly painful and humbling to feel like you mean nothing to someone who meant so much. Link to comment
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