boozy12 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I met a guy a month ago when I was away for the weekend. I gave him my number and he phoned me every day. He's busy with work but wanted to meet up so last weekend I booked flights and went to see him for the weekend. We had a great time - seemed to really hit it off, when I left he said he would like to come and see me and thought we should try and build a relationship which I was happy with him. Since I got home (a week ago) Ive heard nothing. Ive texted him and phoned a couple of times..but nothing.. I just dont understand. Was he just after a dirty weekend? Why just stop all contact? He knows i have issues with trust and I told him before if he ever thinks Im not bothered about keeping in touch with her - to just let me know and I wont bother him again. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 Often dating ends after one date. It's a little confusing your telling him about your trust issues and then spending a weekend with him on the first date (rather than staying over at a hotel) - maybe he figured that you got over your trust issues since you didn't ask him for exclusivity before having sex, or spend time getting to know him through dating. If there wasn't a promise of exclusivity, he need not ask you out for a second date and not asking you out for a second date isn't a betrayal - happens all the time. Did you have greater expectations of him just because you agreed to have sex? If so, did you tell him what those expectations were and what was his reaction? If you told him he had to promise to call you after and he promised to do so, then I would understand why you're upset with him. Sorry this didn't work out. Link to comment
boozy12 Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 I did stay in a hotel, we had separate rooms. But things happen after a few drinks... He told me in the first couple of weeks of being in touch that he woldnt date anyone else while we were in touch, and asked me to do the same. These things do happen, its just the complete rudeness of him not getting in touch. Maybe I did expect too much Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 I hate to even suggest this, but have you ever been to his house or know for sure he is even single? You mention meeting him in a hotel in separate rooms. There are unfortunately a lot of married guys who lie about their status and try to hook up with girls when they are out of town... They do the big romance thing to get you into bed in a hurry then once they've scored they move on. Some single men do this, but married guys who don't want to get caught frequently don't stick around for long. Next time get to know him better to find out his true status and whether he is who he says he is... Link to comment
LE DHUY NHUT Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 You give away too much too soon.We like a challenge when looking for a girl....but we'll take someone who puts out easily too...but then we might not think that that girl is 'girlfriend' material but 'fling' material.So you know what to do next time. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 You give away too much too soon.We like a challenge when looking for a girl....but we'll take someone who puts out easily too...but then we might not think that that girl is 'girlfriend' material but 'fling' material.So you know what to do next time. Thanks for sharing the male side of this... Link to comment
xXxLancexXx Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 Yikes, that's a brutal one. My guess is he wanted the hot weekend only and decided to ditch you after that. This exact thing happened to me last summer (except I got ditched) and it crushed me for a couple of weeks. What really hurts is that the other person doesn't have the courtesy to call up and talk about it, thus providing you with a sense of closure. Sometimes that closure never happens and you just have to walk away. That's my best advice, walk away and find other dates with better, more thoughtful guys. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 sounds like you associate sex with emotion. you need to change this. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 No, things don't just happen. You chose to have drinks, chose to have sex. I am not saying those were bad or wrong choices - just disagreeing that "these things just happen" - it's a bad habit to not take responsibility for your choices, especially when it comes to sex. Link to comment
Maya_A Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I noticed what Batya did, in that you have issues with trust yet place yourself in a situation (the intimacy) where trust has not been earned and can easily be breeched. I'm not saying what you did was "wrong". You are two consenting adults. Only saying that there are affects/consequences to every action we do. One possible affect was him not calling you after a wknd. of being intimate with him. It didn't have to go that way but there was a chance it could, and it did. Since you have sent texts & called & he is not even responding, I would not attempt to contact him again if it were me. If he contacts you down the line you can decide if what he has to say on the matter of the silence makes good sense (very rare times we have emergencies in life) or does not... If you have trust issues you can be kind to yourself and feel more happiness, in not unnecessarily placing yourself too easily in situations where your trust can be mistreated. Take care Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.