lostandhurt Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Have you been kidding yourself about how far along you are with healing and moving on?......I have. Just recently I was under the misconception that I was in fact doing quite well, only to crash back to reality that I am no where near where I thought I was. What brought the crash was I made the decision to go through all the pictures not in digital format and scan the ones I would keep and give all the paper copies to the stbx. After 20yrs together there were memories that tore me down to a very low and dark place. I knew it needed to be done so I tried 3 times over 2 days and could simply not function to perform the task at hand. I considered making the stbx do it but that would not be fair even though she is the one that cheated and betrayed our family. No good would come from causing her the pain of re-living all those good times we once had. I have come to realize that this recovery will take a very long time with no set date for completion if ever. The scars I carry will fade but never completely go away, this I know. I have to some extent been hiding at this wonderful place (ENA) with so many caring and thoughtful people that truly understand. I can't imagine what condition I would be in if I hadn't stumbled upon this forum months ago. I will attempt from now on to balance my life more and take baby steps in my recovery. The "picture thing" will have to wait, till when I don't know, but it will keep until then. Good luck and determination to us all lost Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I know it's tough. I didn't have the lengthy relationship you had, but it's tough nonetheless. You are right, this forum is a good place to hide sometimes. How long will the healing take? Who knows? Just keep on going and make sure you sleep and eat. Surround yourself with friends as much as you can. It helps more than you know. I run accross reminders of the ex all the time. I ended up purging every single picture we had from the last 4+ years. They were all in digital format and I deleted them all. Reminders are killers sometimes. I needed to purge because of the way the relationship ended. No closure. So, the tiniest reminders make my heart jump. I was watching a program on TV and it showed parts of San Diego. I saw a hotel/resort we used to frequent on that show and it got to me a bit. Keep your guard up against these reminders that will pop up. Link to comment
EQD Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 i am in the same boat.. just when you think you are on the right track something comes back at you and tells the truth.. you still arent close to letting it all go... not as close as you thought anyway. Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Yeah, me too. I think its the whole highs and lows thing. Sometimes you feel great, other times you hit rock bottom and break every bone on the way. I feel that if I hadnt found ENA I would be in a much darker place right now. But at the same time, I wonder if it distorts our view of how we are healing. I think it can offer false hope - for ages after I broke up with my ex I was lurking on the getting back together forum reading about all those positive stories, and it really delayed my healing. I felt much better when I moved to the healing forum! I hope you are feeling better lost Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Is there any way you can take those pictures in to a photo store and they can maybe scan them for you? Might make it less painful. I don't know if this is actually an option but it is worth looking in to. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Eh I am semi in the same place as you Lost, I was bad the past week, feeling better today. So far, I guess everyone is just hitting this wall right now. It hurts but it's like what can you do? I have wasted long enough feeling bad about it, I know I will hurt and have highs and lows, but she left there is nothing I can do. It will get better. I know that. I know that I will move on and love someone else one day I know that I will be healed. This will be the first time I am activley trying to heal and move forward. We will see how long it takes. I'm not putting a time period on it. Link to comment
Stambler Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I kid myself every day. And the worst part is I'm startng to hate her fro what she did, and the fact that it is still affecting MY life. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I kid myself every day. And the worst part is I'm startng to hate her fro what she did, and the fact that it is still affecting MY life. i hear a saying...holding on to hate is like taking rat poison and expecting the rat to die... Just saying... Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 i hear a saying...holding on to hate is like taking rat poison and expecting the rat to die... Just saying... Ha...stop making sense with your so-called sayings! If you have it, it's normal. But, with time, even hate subsides. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Ha...stop making sense with your so-called sayings! If you have it, it's normal. But, with time, even hate subsides. I love sayings and cliches hehe Link to comment
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