do i have a right to be mad and ignore his calls?

[confuzed25]

my boyfriend and i have been together for about 2 months now. its not really serious or anything of course after such a short time. but we hang out 3-4 times a week and he acts like he really likes me. but ive noticed that within the last month he always designates a day to go out without me even though he goes out without me once or twice during the week while im working in the evening. he just goes out with his friends and doesnt ask me to join.

 

well this morning i was laying in his bed and he was leaving for work and he kissed me goodbye as usual. he asked me what i was doing tonight and i said i didnt know yet. he said "ok wanna come over tonight and we'll go out for a bit?" i said "sounds good." then i asked him if he had to work in the morning and he said yea and i said "so do i." Then he said "ok talk to ya later babe, ill miss ya." so later in the day he texted me good morning and said he loves sleeping with me and then later he texted again saying he was thinking about me. The whole day i was thinking that we had plans....so i didnt hear from him for 5 hours. he usually calls or texts me when he gets off work but i didnt hear from him. then i noticed later that he was on AIM and he had just put up an away message that said "mowing the lawn." So now im starting to get mad because he still hasnt contacted me about what time i should come over. I had started to get ready thinking that he would be calling me to say i could come over around the usual time of 7:30 or 8. Well at 7:30 he finally calls me and doesnt even mention us doing anything. Instead he tells me hes going out with his friends.

 

After we get off the phone i was so angry....i put up an away message that said "love how i got ditched tonight." He saw it and called me and i ignored his call. He then called me back 5 mins later and i ignored it again. Am i right for being mad? Am i just being childish by ignoring his calls or is it an okay thing to do to let him know im angry and its not ok to ditch me??

[bmwm3]

It is a little annoying when a girl does that... just pu the phone and talk to him about your concern.. and you dont have to put up with that... and either you guys will come to an agrment or maybe hes not want you want in a guy... dating is tuff

[maryjane123]

if he has a habit of doing that then what he did was messed up but could he have just forgot? either ways speak to him because u will only know if u speak to him. its better to speak to him.....

[PeaceIsWithin]

Never do that back door jab stuff, it's really childish, almost infantile. It doesn't accomplish anything but more negative feelings.

[greywolf]

Just talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him that he shouldn't ditch you like that. Ignoring his phone call is childish and only further complicates the situation.

[DN]

Call him and tell him why you are annoyed. But don't make it an aggressive confrontation - just explain that you feel disrespected and unwanted.

[newyorkpsps]

yes, it's childish.think about what you will feel if he does the same thing to you.it doesn't help the situation at all.

the guy I've seen for 2 months ignored me for a week. no call, no returning calls,nothing. I know he's trying to teach me a lesson if not totally lost interest. but it makes me feel that there're problem with his way of communication and I feel he doesn't care enough about me.its detrimental not helpful.

 

anyway, communication is key for a healthy relationship. good luck

[Lauren8785]

You guys been going out for two months! Your acting like your all married. He needs his space sometimes too. So what he goes out with the guys from time to time? Big deal. As long as he's honest about telling you that and you know, then I wouldn't worry about it. Just because he is your bf doesn't mean you need to be around him 24/7. Go out with the ladies and have a ladies night out.

 

To answer your question, YES it's childish. Be a women and answer the phone call and ask whats up. Tell him how you feel, its the only way your going to feel better.

 

Anyway let us know how it turns out.

[valiantv]

I don't blame you for being mad, you made plans and he broke them without even telling you...

 

But why are you ignoring his calls? All you're doing now is giving him a right to be mad at you!

[JadedStar]

Because you had plans i would be annoyed, but i wouldn't be annoyed at the fact that sometimes he wanted to hang with his friends w/out you.

 

I do that myself. SOmetimes you want to just be yourself wtih a few friends and not with your partner. It isn't a diss at all.

 

His mistake was not calling you to say hey plans have changed do you mind if we hang out tomorrow instead or something similar.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

You're really mad because he was doing everything else right that day. Boys often don't stop to think about what they're doing and how it might look bad to someone else.

 

Passive aggression drives them absolutely NUTS and gets you nowhere.

 

1. Apologize for ignoring his calls (I know that's going to really suck).

2. Calmly and intelligently explain why what he did made you angry.

3. Watch out for repeat offenses.

[confuzed25]

well it was all a misunderstanding....i think. i called him back right away and he asked me what was going on, why my away message said i got stood up. i told him i was a little upset that we had plans and all day im thinking we were going to do something and i got ready and everything and then he goes out with his friends instead. he said "wait a minute this morning you said you didnt want to do anything tonight." i said "no i didnt, you asked me to do something and i said sounds good." and he said that he didnt hear me say that, he thought that when i told him i had to get up early for work that meant i didnt want to go out. he said he felt really bad and told me to please not be mad at him, that he really isnt like that and it was a misunderstanding. so i told him it was ok and i wasnt mad anymore since it was an honest mistake and we got off the phone. a few minutes later i get a text from him saying "so sorry babe i feel horrible...how about i take you out to dinner tomorrow to make up for it. i would never do that to you, i trust you know that."

 

but i am beginning to think that maybe it wasnt really a mistake. first of all i did not get a text message from him like he usually sends me every night. then the next day when i talked to him and asked him how his night was he said "i had a lot of fun." But later at dinner he told me that there wasnt that many people out, but he sat at the bar all night and chatted with one of his girl friends. Ive met this girl, shes gorgeous and hes said before that he thinks she is a gorgeous girl. So basically he was telling me he had "a lot of fun" hanging out with that girl all night. And he talks about this girl sometimes, like brings her up in conversation when hes talking to me. Also at dinner he told me that she texted him earlier in the day asking him if he wanted to meet up for some drinks. I glanced at his phone later while he was scrolling through his text messages and saw at least 3 messages from her which could have been when she asked him to meet up....or it could be that they text back and forth all the time. So now its really bothering me....i cant help but wonder if something is going on between them. Maybe when she asked him to hang out he decided that he would rather go out without me and meet up with her. But on the other hand if something was going on with them, wouldnt he try to keep her a secret from me?

 

I dont know...me and him had such a great time last night and last night he told me he had a lot of fun with me. But then this morning he seemed a little more distant that usual...we were texting back and forth because i was at work and couldnt talk but he didnt have much to say other than "i had fun," and he said "i miss you too" when i told him i missed him. Then i called him when i got off work and he seemed quiet, and didnt ask me to hang out like he usually does when i have the night off.

 

I just wish i knew how he really feels about me.....and this other girl. I dont want to sit around while he is out trying to get with someone else and then breaks up with me out of nowhere to be with her. Should i be worried???

[valiantv]

Without knowing the guy, (i.e. this is a guess based on me and guys I know) I would say that you are thinking about this way more than him. When me and my girlfriend started going out, the amount of things she was mad / worried about (that she told me about later), that didn't occur to me was amazing.

 

For one thing I don't think he would be telling you about her if anything was going on. I would give him the benefit of the doubt that it was a misunderstanding... I am sure if he knew he was supposed to meet with you he'd hardly just go out with this other girl and not talk to you.

 

Furthermore she's his friend. You two have been going out for 2 months, they've probably been friends for ages. Just because she is good looking is no reason to expect him to break off contact with her.

 

And don't ignore his calls just because you are mad at him! It just causes misunderstandings like this to get worse, and gives him good excuse to be mad at you too. Talk about it!