Forced break-up

[liquer]

Hi there,

 

I’m new here and need some advice from you all. I live in the UK and work as a taxi driver I’d been having an affair with a married woman for the past three months although she told me she’s estranged from her husband I found out recently she’s still been living with him.

 

How did I find out? Well, he found out about us and came after me. He hired my cab and we drove out to a quiet spot and he told me he knew all about I tried to talk my way out of it but he asked me to step out the cab. I didn’t want any trouble so agreed and he told me to put my fists up, so as I took off my jacket he hit me on the jaw and knocked me out, later I came to in my cab and he was there telling me in no exact terms to stay away from his wife. Wish ihave, I don’t want to go through that again, thing is I still miss here but realise it’s over. She mislead me and I don’t want to cross him again as he was pretty angry and told me what he would cut off if I went near her again.

 

That was the last I saw of him and I was there for about an hour and half before I could get myself together and drive home. I just think after this will I be able to date again?

[Dioufy]

Hello mate. I suggest you go to the police and see how this women reacts to that. You never know, she might be scared of him as well and wouldn't want to cross him. I suggest heavily that you go to the authrorities. Good luck.

[liquer]

I can’t I’m too scared of how I was left by him after I came to. He was waiting for me and I was warned against taking this any further.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

That is very scary. I think it would be a good idea to report this to the authorities.

[Dioufy]

I know the feeling of that, but he can't get away with this. You didn't do anything wrong as you believed that they were not toegther but just married. Trust me, going to the police will bother him and keep him away from you, if he doesn't keep away from you, he goes to prison. And you never know, like I said, she might be so scared of him as well - hence why she lied about him perhaps.

[liquer]

Would love to and am thinking about it as I have contacted victim support but the threat of him getting to me holds me back. I was left in no uncertain terms about what he would do to me if I took this further.

[Dioufy]

He's made these threats so that you won't take it further and he's scared that you will. I promise you that he will stay away from you or end up in jail - he could end up in jail just for the assault if he's got previous. Don't give him want he wants a go to the police station. Trust me - it could even get him out of the picture permantely. He took you to a secluded place using deceit and assulted you - that's ABH with intent. And if he touches you again - he waves bye bye to his freedom for a few years.

[Rhonda 2]

You are really LUCKY you are not dead. He could have climbed into that cab and shot you in the back of the head. Tough- I know you didn't think you were doing anything wrong- but you got caught up in somebody else's problem. "Going to the authorities" HAH!! what do you think they can do- except make him madder. Do you think Authorities are going to mount guard over you?? No- best thing is to profit from your mistake- you only got socked by an irate husband. That should be the end of it- I'd do the same it that circumstances- were I a man.

[tictactoe2006]

Let that be your lesson for being with a MARRIED WOMAN - estranged or not.

 

If I were her husband, I'd not have been as kind to as he was. You'd likely be explaining your destroyed cab to your supervisor.

[Dioufy]

Fair enough I guess. It's up to you to choose wether she mislead you because she was scared of him or because she is a * * * * * . If it's the latter I would leave it alone, if it's the former then I would go to the police ASAP.

[tictactoe2006]

Go to the police for what? To say "hi, I was helping to destroy a marriage and the cuckolded husband made me stop. please protect me"

 

If I were the husband I'd find out where this guy lived.

[Dioufy]

Perhaps you're right but what I'm saying is this guy didn't do anything wrong as it was the women who mislead him, so why does he deserved to be physically hit when he wasn't in the wrong. I didn't think he deserved that at all.

[tictactoe2006]

He knew she was married though. I can see a date or 2, then find out she has a husband and break things off. But no, he still carried on with her for 3 months. Why humiliate someone else like that? The poor husband likely jsut had all his hopes and drems flushed down the toilet, and he needed to let his hurt out.

 

I know it is very unpopular these days to feel bad for the husband - after all, lifetime tv teaches us all men are evil, but the husband is the one I feel sorry for here.

[Lana0120]

I think you should confront her about the situation. It crosses my mind that Dioufy is right - she could be scared of him, or, what if they are actually separated but he can't let go? Are you one hundred per cent certain about his account of the situation?

[novaseeker]

Go to the police. It's an assault, clearly, which is a crime.

 

If he's the kind of person who uses violence like that to address "issues" in his life, it's likely he's using it on his wife as well. The police need to be involved.

[Bob3000]

Whether or not you did anything wrong is irrelevant.

 

Her husband has committed serious and violent crimes. This cannot be tolerated in a civilised society.

 

If you don't go to the police, you show this guy that he can do what he likes (to you, to his wife, to whoever...) and get away with it.

 

If you don't go to the police, what's to stop him coming back for you anyway? For example, if his wife finally leaves him and he blames you...

 

The best way to prevent him from attacking you again (or at the very least ensuring that there are consequences if he does) is to go to the police.

 

Of course, he threatened to come back for you if you took it further. He wants you to be scared. But isn't having him out on the streets, without the police knowing what he's done and what he's capable of, even more scary?

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm not sure if I would go to the police, It seems if he wanted to do more to you then he would have done it when he had the chance.

 

I suggest you have NO FURTHER CONTACT with this woman of any kind.

 

I don't think you did anything wrong, it is up to the people who are actually in relationships to decide if they want to cheat on their partners or not, she did the cheating on him not you, although I would advise to stay away from people who are involved in relationships or marriages from now on because it's just too much hassle and you can do without it.

 

Don't let this put you off dating again. Just make certain you know where you stand when you get into anything again with a woman.

[liquer]

Look, thanks for all the posts but I’ll come clean about what really happened. He hailed my cab, as his wife and me had split up the week before and he and I had had some harsh words before between us.

 

So he started about how he was going to try his best to get back with her and for me to give him some space. I got mad because the break up between his wife and me was bad and I was going to try and get back. So I drove out to this place stopped and got him to get out of the cab and started waving the bat, I have in the cab, around.

 

I guess I wanted to send him back to her with his tail between his legs as I told him to strip off, I dunno if he thought I was serious but if he had started I’d have let him carry on and drove of with his togs for a laugh, but he suckered me and made out like there was somebody behind us, I looked, realised there was nobody there, looked back and he smacked me on the jaw and knocked me out, when I came to I founded I’d ended up in that situation.

 

When I came to I found I was in the back of my cab and he’d stripped me completely and ran off. All I had in my favour was the keys to the cab and it was dark and warm that evening. My jaw was throbbing and I managed to drive home and clean myself up.

[Dioufy]

Are you serious?

 

I can't say I condone that behaviour in the slightest and when you start waving a bat at someone then it's likely that you're going to end up in a violent situation. However, we are not here to judge so I will try to give you the best advice I can manage to do...

 

If you and her had arguments and she doesn't contact you then you have to go no contact my friend. It will be hard but just focus on all the arguing and it will get better.

 

That's the best I can offer dude.

[tictactoe2006]

you waved a bat at the guys who's wife you were doing?

 

lucky the guy was not me - you would be paralyzed right now.

 

seriously - i hpe you get what is coming to you, jerk