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How common is a friends with benefits relationship?


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I have a friend who is currently " just very good friends" with a guy that she recently met. However she also tells me that she likes to go over to his place to "hang out" at night time and she's at least kissed him before even though all she's interested in is having fun and doesn't want to date. I'm pretty sure there's more than just kissing to it since she tends to like to convey an innocent image. I'm a little surprised because she seems fairly conservative generally speaking (doesn't drink or party much) so I was wondering is this kind of thing really common nowadays? Am I just a horribly old-school traditionalist to think that this kind of thing is wrong?

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Can bring up jealousy issues with your future patner.

They won't want to see someone who was happy just to have sex with you and nothing else.


what do you mean? I've had a crush on a guy who had a girl use him for sex (they both used each other). It bothered me, but it was about him- not about her. If she didn't have feelings for him, I could care less...I'd care more if she wanted him for something more than sex. Its still different, though, since I wasn't in a relationship with him.

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Having lived on a college residence where the media and films would have us believe is ground zero for FWB relationships, I can honestly say that I don't think I know of anyone having been involved in a FWB relationship. Sure their were a few people that hooked up for one night or so, but as far as I can tell I don't really know of anybody that had a sustained friends with benefits relationship with anybody. Of course, I'd imagine that the girls wouldn't really be willing to admit to being in one, but I'm sure the guys would so I don't know what to make of it.


Although now that I think of it, their was one or two girls at a part time job that kind of hinted that in the past they were involved in that kind of relationship, so I guess I do know people that have actually been involved in one, although it was just something I kind of overheard and didn't hear any juicy details...lol

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't think it is wrong as long as it is two single, consenting adults honest with each other and themselves about what it is and what it's not, without the silly "FWB" sugar coating/euphemism unless they are truly good friends apart from having sex.


I think it is wrong if deceit is involved (one person is married, one person agrees to be exclusive, but it's not). It's wrong emotionally if self-deceit is involved.

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