How common is a friends with benefits relationship?

[cheesystreet]

I have a friend who is currently " just very good friends" with a guy that she recently met. However she also tells me that she likes to go over to his place to "hang out" at night time and she's at least kissed him before even though all she's interested in is having fun and doesn't want to date. I'm pretty sure there's more than just kissing to it since she tends to like to convey an innocent image. I'm a little surprised because she seems fairly conservative generally speaking (doesn't drink or party much) so I was wondering is this kind of thing really common nowadays? Am I just a horribly old-school traditionalist to think that this kind of thing is wrong?

[midnightrambler]

i don't like it...i think it happens a lot during break ups and the lingering process that happens after

[ghost69]

just sit back and watch. someone will develop feelings even though it's just physical. it will more than likely be her that gets hurt.

[Iceman26]

I think it takes a certain type of personality to really succeed at such a thing. I think it is rare, but it happens.

[Iwantittoend]

I was in one for awhile and it was fun while it lasted, but very unfullfilling in the end. She ended up "falling for me" and I didn't want anything more. Feelings almost always get involved and someone usually gets hurt.

[Bunney]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. If both don't want to be committed but like to be intimate and are sexually attracted to eachother, then so what?

[pinkelephant]

It's a lot more popular among college students, it seems.

[midnightrambler]

It's a lot more popular among college students, it seems.

 

astute observation...

[livinginsbi]

I have had three, won't reiterate them again. 2/3 of them were great, the last one - umm, not so great. You really have to stick to your guns and not get emotionally involved, if you can do that, it's a great stress reliever and a lot of fun.

[ghost69]

leave you feelings at home and bang away.

[midnightrambler]

I have had three, won't reiterate them again. 2/3 of them were great, the last one - umm, not so great. You really have to stick to your guns and not get emotionally involved, if you can do that, it's a great stress reliever and a lot of fun.

 

if there was gun play...sounds like fun

[heloladies21]

There's nothing wrong with it. You only care because you like her and are jealous.

[george237]

I used to have a few in college. Never works. I'd say they were great for a few weeks Then they want to hang out and sleep over. They were trying to turn it into a relationship.

[Wakingdream]

Two consenting adults can do what they want but I personally think it's a sign of a lack of a solid moral foundation and well...nasty.

[richmonder80]

fwb is very common. It works only if both parties do not want a relationship, can be honest with each other, and keep jealousy out. If not no way. But people get into fwb as a tool to get a relationship out of it, which doesnt work most of the time.

[greganan]

I agree with wakingdream. It's sort of a wake up call to me b/c I didn't realize it was so prevalent. I'm more of a believer in only sex if you think it's going somewhere, and frankly I've only slept with girls when it was official we were dating.

[Gratsy]

How do you know that she's doing more? I think kissing is harmless. You don't really know the situation. Maybe she secretly wants more but isn't aware of it yet. Its not really your concern anyways, ya know?

[teknoise]

Am I just a horribly old-school traditionalist to think that this kind of thing is wrong?

 

Lol.. this happens a lot but its kept under wraps most of the time because of judgmental traditionalists.

[99CamaroZ28]

Quite common...I wouldn't mind knocking boots with a couple of my ex's or just someone in general right now

[fadetoblack]

Quite common...I wouldn't mind knocking boots with a couple of my ex's or just someone in general right now

 

Haha, I just had the same thought! ... Oh the fun

[Gratsy]

Can bring up jealousy issues with your future patner.

They won't want to see someone who was happy just to have sex with you and nothing else.

 

what do you mean? I've had a crush on a guy who had a girl use him for sex (they both used each other). It bothered me, but it was about him- not about her. If she didn't have feelings for him, I could care less...I'd care more if she wanted him for something more than sex. Its still different, though, since I wasn't in a relationship with him.

[Superfreak]

Having lived on a college residence where the media and films would have us believe is ground zero for FWB relationships, I can honestly say that I don't think I know of anyone having been involved in a FWB relationship. Sure their were a few people that hooked up for one night or so, but as far as I can tell I don't really know of anybody that had a sustained friends with benefits relationship with anybody. Of course, I'd imagine that the girls wouldn't really be willing to admit to being in one, but I'm sure the guys would so I don't know what to make of it.

 

Although now that I think of it, their was one or two girls at a part time job that kind of hinted that in the past they were involved in that kind of relationship, so I guess I do know people that have actually been involved in one, although it was just something I kind of overheard and didn't hear any juicy details...lol

[Gratsy]

Yes, but if you stayed friends with him, wouldn't your future partner feel a bit weird having him hang about?

 

having who about? My crush or some guy I would hypothetically have a FWB with?

[Batya33]

I don't think it is wrong as long as it is two single, consenting adults honest with each other and themselves about what it is and what it's not, without the silly "FWB" sugar coating/euphemism unless they are truly good friends apart from having sex.

 

I think it is wrong if deceit is involved (one person is married, one person agrees to be exclusive, but it's not). It's wrong emotionally if self-deceit is involved.

[hateimports]

I think this is very rare. What most people said here is probably true...SOMEONE will get feelings. Most likely the chick is gonna want a relationship at some point me thinks.