What is he doing? Is he interested?

[michelle123]

Hello I am new to this forum and I appreciate any advice I can get! Im going to try and make this as short as possible! I started working at this job and this guy kept coming in once a week because he used to work there and he knows my coworkers. Anyway.. he starts talking to me and introduces himself, he is a very good looking guy and in great shape. So we end up talking at my job for about 2 hours in the cold parking lot about random things. He would throw things out there like "we should see a movie, what time is it u know?" so it wasnt like he would ask me to get an answer he was just throwing the question to see how I would react. Anyway that was it and then the following week he came again. This time it was Easter and this time we talked again for awhile. While I was speaking to him he got a phone call and i was in the middle of a sentence so after he answered I said "i gotta go ill let u get to ur call" he grabbed my arm and said no dont leave.

 

When he got off the phone he apologized for being rude and invited me to his friends house for easter which I found strange because I hardly knew him let alone his friend ona holiday so i declined. He ended up asking me for my myspace url to send me a video. I requested him online and that was that.

 

I ended up getting laid off at my job because the economy isnt doing well and I figured I would just never see him again. My job wasnt giving me the money they owed me so i decided to message him on myspace since he knew them longer then me if he thought they were never going to pay me. So instead of writing me back he responded with his phone number and told me to call him.

 

I called him 3 days later and we spoke and he told me to go to my job pick up my check and call him back to let him know what had happened. So I did that. When I called him back we just talked for 20 minutes and after i got off the phone i just got the impression I was never going to speak with him again. However he texted me right after.

 

This was just a few days ago and when he texts me he flirts. he writes things like "i dont bite unless u want me too". He would also keep texting how bored he is constantly till I finally wrote lets hangout then and he would be like im tired lets do something tomorrow instead. I got weirded out that he wrote how bored he is and then didnt hangout with me. What was the point of constantly telling me he has no one to hangout with and hes bored? So i declined his invitation to hangout the following day because of that. So anyone he has been texting me every single day flirting and writing things with winking faces. What do u all think about this? I noticed though the last 2 days he hasnt been texting me as much.... now im confused...

 

so i texted him he writes me back but its not like the same first few days why is this? Do you think he is interested, what is he doing then?

 

He is a really good looking guy and is probably girls being all over him all the time. I recently read the book "Why men love * * * * * es" and it doesnt mean * * * * * es in a negative way but in a positive one. Be confidant and know your worth and not to put up with bullcrap. I am usually the nice girl who wears my heart on my sleeve but i notice u can get walked all over that way. The book explains to basically "play hard to get" if you read the book you know what I mean. Many men actually agree with the book. I dont know what to do I decided not to text him anymore... id like to drive him crazy and id like him to ask me to hangout. is he interested what do u all think?

 

thanks for the advice

[annie24]

has he actually asked you out on a date with a specific time/day/place in mind? i'd kind of take your time getting back to him, don't respond to texts right away, wait a day, or at least, 5 hours. if he sees you are less available, he may be more likely to write back. besides, he hasn't really earned the position of 'texing back right away.' imho.

[michelle123]

annie u are right! I usually wait like 20 minutes I am going to try a day see how that goes! No he hasnt asked me out on a date specfically. Jus tlittle comments

[JadedStar]

I think he has a g/f already, that is why he declined your invite to hang out.

 

He sounds too much like a player. I have a feeling he gets off on flirting with girls like this.

 

Be leary.

[michelle123]

well i never really asked him to hangout. I dont think he has a girlfriend though because u can basically find anything out on myspace. (i found out my ex was cheating on me that way) and on his myspace it says single and no girls really say anything on there like love u baby etc u know.

 

but even if he has a girlfriend id honestly rather be friends with him first before anything anyway. He asked me to hangout the following day and i said no. The only reason i said lets hangout the first time was because he was constantly saying how bored he is and has no one to hangout with...

 

idk i mean new friends is what i want before naything to happen anyway. but still he was goin strong with the texting and its phading whether he saw me as a friend or more...

[addictedblue]

It seems like he was interested in you but then you turned him down when he actually asked you to hang out. He's backing off now because he probably thinks you don't really like him.

[JadedStar]

I am just leary of people who come on that strong..JMO.

[michelle123]

Maybe except when he was saying im bored im bored i have no one to hangout with. I finally wrote "then pick me up we can hangout" he declined after explaing to me he has no one to hangout with! how rude! lol so then when he said "maybe tomorrow night" of course im going to decline! He hasnt really said anything to me like "lets go here tomorrow night" hell text me and be like im bored...

 

my birthday recently passed and we were joking around about him getting my a gift. and he was flirting saying if u can beat me up ill get u a gift (illl let u win tho ; ) stuff like that! idk but then i havent gotten any texts about gifts or anything.

 

i dont relaly want a gift but still just something to text me about its like he just stopped texting me. even if he just sees me as a friend i think he is obviously attracted to me physically tho to talk to me for so long in a freezing parking lot and beig flirty right?

[michelle123]

Oh jaded i feel the same way. I dont like a guy who makes inappropriate commetns right away and stuff but he hasnt gone passed the line u know? and its only text messages no calls. idk i kind of got used to him texting me so much and now he doesnt im like * * * ?

[Maya_A]

I got the same feeling as JS... He sounds like a player to me... Maybe fishing or testing you to see your reaction once again by saying he's bored (i.e. are you interested enough to offer hanging out)... If he declines when you suggest it then I kind of wonder if he just wants to know if he could have what he wanted when he wanted it.

 

If he's inconsistent between over-interest & seeming less interested on the whole other times then something seems off... Yes, be leary.

[addictedblue]

Hmmmm I honestly don't know. You could text and say "whats up? have plans for the weekend?" and see if he responds. If he doesn't want to hang out one last time then you know he isn't interested and he was having some flirty fun. If he does though then he's interested. It's hard to tell, he is giving mixed signals, might as well try one last time in my opinion.

[michelle123]

I know by reading that book it explains how to get a guy to basically be like HUH? does she like me? It shows u ways to make him basically want u a lot! Just by how you behave and i believe it 100 percent and I kinda wanted to try it out on him.

 

i actually would like to be friends u know he seems like a nice guy , (every guy is nice at first) but just to hangout in a friendly way. Id rather him get to know me as a friend anyway first.

but id like to kinda drive him crazy do u know what i mean? because he isp robably so used to girls chasing him and im not doing that

[Batya33]

He seems immature and socially inept. If this is how he is when he's trying to impress you, do you really want to subject your friends to him, if you get serious? He'll be whining about how bored he is and then reject everyone's suggestions.

 

I will add that this is what I don't like about IMing or texting -- when I was dating I didn't let a man I didn't know well who wanted to date me randomly IM me like a buddy. too familiar. I accepted phone calls to talk and ask me out, and if we already had a date planned -specific time and place - not just to "hang out" - then I was fine exchanging a few e-mails. But I find with texting, it's too casual and it takes away the specialness of getting to know a potentially special person.

[michelle123]

I am def not asking him to hangout. He did ask me to hangout and i declined last but like i said earlier it was only because of what he did the day before.

 

he always responds when i text him and i never ever text him first until yesterday and today! he usually writes me first.

 

ive just never had a guy that i met talk to me for soooooo long u know in a dark parking lot 2 weeks in a row? why even do that?

[Batya33]

Why not? and who cares? all we know is he is not willing, yet, to put in the effort to ask you out on a proper date he plans in advance. to me that's the only relevant fact.

[michelle123]

Batya i like that idea! I mean i usually enjoy texting because it takes the awkwardness out of phone convo. but you rright i the texting with him is getting old! But if he does text me i dont want him to think i like him or annoyed all he does is text u know. if i were to say "hey the texting is getting old if u wanna talk call me" he might be like nah forget that u know ... i thought if i hungout with him 1 more time then we would tlak on the phone more but ur right. what do u think i should write if he does text me again

[JadedStar]

A guy who is only texting you is only texting you out of...boredom. He is bored and he texts people, most likely just girls.

 

He has done nothing that seems of substance or that he is serious in really getting to know you better. Many people just like text friends to have something to fill up their time when bored and since he even said he was bored i am even more inclined to think this.

 

I don't think he is looking for this to go anywhere seirous. Talking to someone in a cold parking lot that long only suggests he has no class. If he liked you that much he would have offered to take you somewhere a bit warmer to talk.

 

If a guy is keeping you in a parking lot for two hours and not suggesting "hey lets go so and so" to a place warmer than drop him in the parking lot.

[michelle123]

Well this literally has been going on for 4 days... so i wasnt expecting anything to be asked. But i know what u mean... id rather be friends first however when i met him the very first time he threw commetns like where do u hangout we should go sometime... .but i never really responded to them cuz it was almost like they werent meant to be answered.. idk

[michelle123]

I love the advice! good ideas everyone! Yeah I mean he did though invite me in the parking lot once to go to his friends house where its warm but i declined...

 

he also brought food to me one day to my job..

[michelle123]

jaded what do u think i should respond with when he says "im bored whats up" ?

[annie24]

jaded what do u think i should respond with when he says "im bored whats up" ?

 

haha, i'm not jaded, but i wouldn't write back for a while. like i'd wait a day or so, and then write back, 'things are good, busy - having dinner with my friends tonight, you?'

[Batya33]

Batya i like that idea! I mean i usually enjoy texting because it takes the awkwardness out of phone convo. but you rright i the texting with him is getting old! But if he does text me i dont want him to think i like him or annoyed all he does is text u know. if i were to say "hey the texting is getting old if u wanna talk call me" he might be like nah forget that u know ... i thought if i hungout with him 1 more time then we would tlak on the phone more but ur right. what do u think i should write if he does text me again

 

If he is interested he won't be annoyed:

 

"thanks for your texts - things are getting a bit busy for me - little time to text - if you want to get together, call me and we'll figure out a time that works best for us, ok? have a good day."

[michelle123]

so basically cut it off and be like look its hard to text but if u want give me a call later

[michelle123]

Yeah I can def wait a day to text back but do you think that ll make him be like "forget her shes not interested at all" or he might be like " hm wow shes not answering thats weird i like it! lol

[Batya33]

Um, no. You say in a nice, polite, but firm way that texting is not convenient for you anymore but that you will make the time to see him if he calls you to make a plan. Your post makes it sound confrontational. I didn't mean it that way. At all.