GizMo567 Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 jon - I feel for you and that is the kind of spirit i like to see. I know you are still hurting but you are progressing and coming along. Your 2 children will benefit from a great father like yourself and show them that no matter what, you will always love them. It will be hard for them and i think you know that, but i know you will be the best father they could possibly have. jamie - I think you might not get a civil answer from her regardless of the situation and circumstances. She seems very stand-offish and doesn't sound like her emotions are kept in check. It seems better to go NC and let her deal with her own problems then trying to help her fix them for her. If you bump into her and she is still acting the same way, just brush it off your back and reply with 1 or 2 word answers at most. She is going to have to grow up if she ever wants to keep a man forever. Stay strong as i know how hard it is to go through NC. Good Luck. Link to comment
jamieboy Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 yeah i think your right, she is off traveling with her friends for 3 months in september to Australia , so i wondered if maybe that had something to do with us breaking up ( it would have probably have caused problems had we been as strong as we ever were) because i believe if one partner disappears to the other side of the world for 3 months its going to have an effect! but i did know about this 2 years ago but i guess it seemed so far off i didnt let it bother me. Maybe that has nothing to do with it and im just looking for rational answers to a very irrational problem. as for stand offish well if she stood off anymore she would go off the cliffe!! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Trust me jamie, if you love someone no matter how long they are gone for, you find a way to work it out. Just let it go and chalk it up to experience. Stay strong because NC is the hardest thing to do until you have the courage enough and are over the other person to go LC. But until that time arrives, go NC and let yourself heal. It sounds completely unhealthy to be in the situation you are in. Let her go, take time to heal, and get back out there. You will find someone. Good Luck the rest of the way and come back to ENA if you need support. Link to comment
jamieboy Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 thanks mate, well i have kinda given up on her which i guess is a good thing because im hoping if anything ever does happen again between us i would be ina stronger position to make a reasonable decision and not just go with my heart. I just really hope that isnt the last i hear from her , because after 2 amazing years it would sadden me to think that she thought of me as a jerk and a looser when really i did everything i could for her for 2 years. weird feeling.... Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Ok it's Metro's time to vent...... Yes you were my best friend. I loved you like a sister. We shared things with each other that both of us will take to the grave. However, somewhere along the line, you became more distant towards me. We talked and interacted way less. You said you got tired of hearing about my problems with him. Who else was I suppose to turn to? Now the two of you seem like great buddies that have nothing more to do than call me insane for leaving him because I refused to be the target of his verbal aggressions. You have this idea in your head that just because he did nice things for me and my family that I should just be happy with the way things are and continue. Be happy with his jealousy, controlling, manipulating, lying ways?? I don't think so. Since you think he is so great, you date him. I would much rather be alone and miserable than be miserable at the hands of someone that claims he loves me. For the record, (friend), I'm better off without you in my life as well. You chose to abandon me when I needed you the most. The whole situation with my family has been very difficult on me, if EVER I needed someone by my side, it was now. You say that since you don't like situation with my family, it's easier for you to just back away and say nothing. I have NEVER done that to you. It didn't matter what you were going through, I was always there by your side. You let me down. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 metro - All i can say is..Ouch. I hope you have the strength to get through that and i hope that everything works out for you in the end. That is rotten that your best friend leaves your side but maybe she will get a taste of her own medicine when she sees how he really is?? I hope it works out for you in the end. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 metro - All i can say is..Ouch. I hope you have the strength to get through that and i hope that everything works out for you in the end. That is rotten that your best friend leaves your side but maybe she will get a taste of her own medicine when she sees how he really is?? I hope it works out for you in the end. I don't think neither of them want the other. They certainly respect each others values and opinions. They are quite similar in their manner of thinking and how certain situations could be dealt with. I on the other hand, am known as the square. I'm a goody two shoes, I don't like to hurt people, I don't like to lie or cheat or be unkind. I'm non-confrontational and they are both extremely confrontational at the drop of a hat. It just bugs me that she can't see the real picture here, that I was a mess being his girlfriend, that he was cruel and that I would much rather struggle on my own than to have him pay a bill or buy something for the house if the price is having to deal with his insecurities and temper. Currently., there is some pretty heavy stuff going on with my family and since she doesn't like it and feels that she would be hurting my feelings if she spoke on it, she chose to just sideline me. So essentially, my best friend said see-ya, but not in so many words. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Ok! Well here I go! My fiance' has a myspace account and his relationship status is still set on Single even after the engagment. I just want to choke the _______ out of him. Beat the ___ out of him as well. I'm so damn mad and hurt and heartbroken. I'm just like the women in " Diary of a mad black women" instead it's about : Diary of a mad white women. He was my everything and now I feel like I've lost everything. where do I even beginn to pick up the pieces of my life. Just because your myspace says you're single doesn't mean anything. Hell, mine stayed that way until I was messing around with my page and realized that it said that (I had no idea!) and I had been dating my fiance for awhile at that point. Some people just don't pay attention to every little tiny (not to mention unimportant)detail about those things. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 I c metro. Try to be strong through that. Be strong. Woman power!! Just trying to make you laugh. Mythical - Sometimes we make that mistake. But if he pays attention to detail like some of us - that is a small red flag. I would talk to him and see if it is truly an honest mistake. Round 6 (Hike!) Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 I have to vent now... ](*,) I am really hurting because of you. I want to hear your voice, tell you i love you, be back with you and just be together. It's to bad that you have moved on already and that we cannot be together. I'm sorry for everything that happened between us but i want another chance. I hate that you are with him but not with me. I hope you are happy but apart of me wants you here. With me. In my arms. Telling me you love me. I guess this will fall on deaf ears also. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 ah gizmo, i feel the same. - why do i have to wake up feeling depressed as if im dying, when youre out there enjoying your so called 'single life'. Why do you say you still love me eventhough you dont to be with me. Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 My mood changes so many times throughout the day but at the moment I'd really like to pick the phone up and scream at her and then punch someone repeatedly until I got all my anger out. I'm actually a really calm peaceful person and this is so unlike me! I'm so confused I don't even know if I'm angry at her or myself. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 fyingdodo - i feel the same too. why can i see my reflection in almost everyone on this site? my right hand is swollen because i keep hitting things?!?! i never hit things! like ever! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 Sam - We are seriously in the same boat and the pain gets worse as the days progress. I know they said you need to hurt to get better - but you have to be kidding me. It sucks because it's not like she broke up with me and i can chase her. She has someone already and is living with them. Until i can put that behind me, i am seriously screwed. And btw, please stop hitting things. It doesn't do you any good. If you get hurt (say you break it) then you are not only hurting physically but emotionally as well. Try to let the pain subside and if you have to hit something, get a punching bag. flying - i vented like i told you i would. Anyway, we all feel like we want to scream, shake the hell out of them, beg, plead, and then go insane because we want to be with them so bad. I think your angry at both her and yourself because you got hurt. It is only natural that way. Stay strong. Link to comment
SamT Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Gizmo - yeah i know, its just me being stupidly drunk to be honest. I know how you feel about her being with someone else also. I mean im doing this NC - its killing me...and i feel as though she hasnt began to miss me even, because she has something exciting. am i wasting my life away with missing her so much?! Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 Sam - I keep punching my brother ha now I really do sound violent! He laughs at how weak I am and always hits me back, it actually makes me feel better even though I have bruises down my arm now! I went to a kickboxing class with a friend the other night and I'd definitely reccommend it! I think my friend was a little surprised how enthusiastic I was though! GizMo - Did you feel better for venting? I'm angry at her for not really explaining to me what was going on in her head and I'm angry at myself for not being more understanding. I want to talk to her so bad but I don't think it would be a good idea to contact her as it's only been about a week and a half since we last spoke. I still refuse to accept it's over, I feel like an idiot for saying that but if I said I had accepted I'd feel guilty for giving up on her while she's going through a really tough time. So even if it's unhealthy for me to keep this hope I'm going to do it anyway! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 I do feel a little better (i really do mean little..very little) Me, you, and Sam are in the same boat. My goodness. I think we are all near the same days in the NC department. It sucks really. You love them and you want to be with them and hold them and everything else but you CAN'T! flying, try not to let it get to you as much. I know we blame ourselves for all the demise (i do it too) but if you look at as a whole, it goes both ways. Until we can see that and let our heart heal, we will have a small bit of hope they will come back. Sad but true. Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 The whole fight starts with your head telling your heart to let go. "He/She is NOT coming back. Let it go." says your head. Then your heart chimes in and says "He/she IS coming back. I know it. I love them so much." And then the battle continues inside of you until your in so much disarray and dizzy that your heart and head feel like they are going to both fall out at the same time and you want to give up. It's not easy when we face the battle of love. It's too much things to take in at once. Please find solace in knowing that you are not alone in the fight against yourself and your heart. I wish everybody luck and strength in the war called love. GizMo I haven't been on here for a few days so I thought I'd look back at what everyone else had written and here you've written exactly how I feel! Except I'm ignoring my head and trusting my heart even though I can see this ending in me getting hurt even more! Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 You're good at helping people GizMo, I always feel a little better after hearing your wise words... even if I don't always listen to them as much as I know I should! I can be incredibly stubborn! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 Don't worry flying. I went down that road and fought for her and sent her flowers and everything - only to call her to have her explain where we went wrong for closure and she was at his house. Only a week ago she broke up with me and then she is at his house. You have to love it. If only i listened to my head instead, i wouldn't feel this much pain. I know how hard it is flying. Going through day to day tasks is extremely painful and downright nasty at times but we have to have the will to get through it all. I know how hurt you are also, i can read it in your posts. Our hearts are always louder then our heads which is why we make so many foolish but extremely wonderful memories. Love is very fickle and when it comes to matter of the heart, nothing sounds louder in our bodies then that small piece, beating for the one we love the most. Now to round 7 (Hike!) Link to comment
flyingdodo Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 I'm sorry it happened like that GizMo, I wish I had the words to make you feel better but unfortunately I'm not very good at that so I'll just remind you of what you've told other people so you can see your words apply to yourself too. Over time it will get better and you will find someone special cause your special yourself. I know how much it hurts - give it time and eventually you will find the person of your dreams. QUOTE] Link to comment
princess_summer_blue84 Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 I'm feeling heartbroken right now. He still has his relationship still on Single. He login was yesturday. I'm crying now! My heart is forever broken. I feel so stupid and dumb! Why the hell me? I've been good to him and did everything he ask of me and I guess it still wasn't good enough. My heart is broken! FOREVER! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 princess, did you try talking to him. Is he being cold and hurtful? I sure hope not. I know the pain hurts. I wish there were words that i could say that i could instantly take the pain away, but there isn't. Stay strong. Link to comment
jamieboy Posted March 14, 2008 Share Posted March 14, 2008 well its my 4th day without contact, and this is the first weekend i wont have my friends around, me and an empty house, dredding it!!! Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted March 14, 2008 Author Share Posted March 14, 2008 jamie- Hang in there buddy. I know how hard it is. Try not to think of it as a empty house as much as you should think about how much free time you have to do what you want?? Just hang in there. It is going to be a long, hard bumpy road. Good luck and stay strong. Link to comment
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