Caterina Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 If you have, whats your story? Do men lead on women? If so, for what reasons- ego? Have you ever had a friend lead you on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TFulton88 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Have i ever been lead on? OH MY GOD! yes By a guy with a boyfriend. There was something different about us. We were passionate, not just sexy together. But when i said i wanted to be official or something more, he instantly left me high and dry. UGH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InternetHateMachine Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yes, it's called socialization. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterina Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Have i ever been lead on? OH MY GOD! yes By a guy with a boyfriend. There was something different about us. We were passionate, not just sexy together. But when i said i wanted to be official or something more, he instantly left me high and dry. UGH What do you mean by passionate but not sexy? What specific things did he do to lead you on? Side note, if they are in a relationship, just know that it is a sure sign they won't be available to you (and are likely somewhat untrustworthy) for now on....will save you a lot of future heartache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwantittoend Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I've been led on by an ex girlfriend of mine a couple times. I let her treat me like garbage and then I took her back thinking she'd change. She did the same thing over and over and now I'm finally starting to see that she was just using me for an ego boost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterina Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yes, it's called socialization. What do you mean? I know what socialization accomplishes, but I don't see the connection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yeah, guys and girls lead others on to boost their self-confidence. It is pretty immature but it happens a lot. I will admit, when I was younger, I'd lead guys on. Then I got my feelings hurt by a guy that I really cared about, shook it right out of me. People who lead on others have a constant need to be validated. They do it so that they can feel pretty, popular, and wanted. Just leave these people alone and they will finally realize that they aren't as great as they think that they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterina Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yeah, guys and girls lead others on to boost their self-confidence. It is pretty immature but it happens a lot. I will admit, when I was younger, I'd lead guys on. Then I got my feelings hurt by a guy that I really cared about, shook it right out of me. People who lead on others have a constant need to be validated. They do it so that they can feel pretty, popular, and wanted. Just leave these people alone and they will finally realize that they aren't as great as they think that they are. So how can you tell if you're being lead on? What are some ways to know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealBrookeI Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 What do you mean? I know what socialization accomplishes, but I don't see the connection. Some people are better at it than others lots of people flirt with no intention of doing anything more because its fun and makes both parties feel good. When one party starts to get real feelings well the game is over and there is nothing left to do but move on and yes if you were really good at it it could elad to something more but at a certain point the party who felt they were being lead on tripped or fell down and never recovered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 being led on is all in your own head. some people do put more signs out there that can be confusing and make us feel the interest. even if they don't meant to. if you felt led on, that's your own fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 ^^ Gonna have to second this one.... I have felt led on before... But I know that truly, it was false hope and ignoring all the facts moreso than being led on. I think sometimes it's easier feeling led on than feeling like we made a mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnightrambler Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 i was invited to a party and i only knew a handful of people. A woman i had met 3 years prior reintroduced herself to me, Julie. I reminded her that I remember meeting her and she was about 8+ months pregnant. Julie then said "yea i had juggs out to here and it was hot." We talked on and off all night, alone and with others, even made eye contact when in different groups. I even commented that i hadn't seen her at any other parties and she said"What are you going to do about that?" When it was time to leave i said good bye and she kissed me on the lips. I knew thn that i needed to ask her out....I emailed her because i had no other contact information and asked her if we could get together....I stopped after three failed attempts. Finally she asked me to a tennis tournament, she had corporate tickets, we had a great time and we were both drunk. She asked me if we were going to get together again and i eagerly said "when?"... "Saturday".after calling all week she told me to meet her at a bar with her friends. I did, she was all over me. we snuck out back and made out for a bit and i drove her to my place afterwards......she asked for some boxers to wear and a wife beater t shirt and changed right in front of me....She let me know that she wasn't interested in sex that nightand nudity never bothered her. We listened to the Little River Band, made out heavily and i massaged every inch of that hot body (she was a track star in HS--Rhode Island State champ in hurdles)....we had coffee the next day, she called later to tell me how great a time we had.....for the next two weeks she kepy putting me off, i stopped calling and we have never seen each other again and i have no idea what she is doing, nor am i interested Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 being led on is all in your own head. some people do put more signs out there that can be confusing and make us feel the interest. even if they don't meant to. if you felt led on, that's your own fault. I think that is only one kind of leading on. I think another kind involves the other person actually doing things that they do with someone they are interested in being in a relationship with and saying how into the person they are and then suddenly saying they don't want to be dating or declare that they are and/or have been "just friends" the entire time despite acting and speaking as someone who is more than just friends. I've seen it happen to others. It's happened to me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealBrookeI Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I think another kind involves the other person actually doing things that they do with someone they are interested in being in a relationship with and saying how into the person they are I liked bubble gum ice cream when I was 7 and hated salmon now that I am older bubble gum ice cream doesnt do much for me and I love salmon. Point being the way I feel today is no guarantee on the way that I will feel tomorrow. As for doing things that they do with someone they are interested in that might be the case for you and for them it could be something they do all the time (especially if drugs or alcohol is involved) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stambler Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Have I ever not? I think some people are just in need of attention, and they crave the feeling of others desiring them....but aren't interested at all in making anything of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breath.o.fresh.air Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I think being led on is generally one of those things people often feel but that don't actually happen. An example: some people are natural flirts, and flirt with most of their friends (of the opposite sex). With those friends its known, and fine...but when they meet somebody new, the new person may misconstrue the flirting. Point being, actions can easily be misconstrued and lead to somebody feeling "led on." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lady00 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I liked bubble gum ice cream when I was 7 and hated salmon now that I am older bubble gum ice cream doesnt do much for me and I love salmon. Point being the way I feel today is no guarantee on the way that I will feel tomorrow. Of course, people's feelings change all the time...what I'm saying is that some people are sincerely interested then change their mind/preferences, while others are not interested at all...they just want an ego boost. I think both of these happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cc2006 Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I guess it depends on your definition of "leading someone on." I take the term "lead on" to mean that someone falsely acted like they were interested in someone to get something out of it (ego boost, sex, money, chocolate) knowing full well that things were not going to go somewhere. What I don't see as "leading someone on" is when you're interested in someone and get together a few times and decide that it just isn't what you thought it'd be, or you find incompatabilities in the relationship and have to break things off. (Example: Preference today is not your preference tomorrow - as RealBrookeI seems to be saying.) ... or ... when things start off "emotionally fast" for one person and slower for the other. I take time to really get fully "into" a partner ... my feelings grow more slowly over time. If someone I meet is a "swept off their feet" person then I run the risk of them feeling "lead on" while I try and play catch-up with their feelings, ya' know? I don't count that either ... but ... some people might? I dunno'. Personally, I try not to let things get past the 'friend stage' with people unless I'm interested in them as more then just friends (simple rule, isn't it?). If something big doesn't come out of it I have never felt like I was "leading them on" ... just that things didn't work out in the end. Within the last couple months I had a girl I met a few times for dinner and such start saying "I don't want to be lead on!" to me repeatedly. I think it was her way of trying to force a commitment from me or something. Odds are it was mostly due to her insecurities. In the end it backfired and I basically said, "look .. I dunno' where this is going .. so .. I can't give you a definite explaination of what the future holds between us" and from that moment onward things slipped away between us. She kept telling me she felt she was being "lead on" when we saw each other ... and I didn't want to do that to her ... so I stopped seeing her. So .. "lead on" as in: Someone 'faking' interest to use someone else for something. .. or "lead on" as in: Someone feels strongly for another person and it is lopsided? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nixee Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Everytime I fall for someone I worry that I'm being led on... pretty much every single time. And likewise, when someone falls hard for me... harder than I've fallen for them, I worry about "leading them on". Those are just the consequences of love. More often than not it is not intentional I think. We are just trying to feel each other out and go at our own pacing. Either things will work, or they won't. Every time I just hope that the other person has good intentions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glegend Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I have not been lead on personally; however, I've apparently lead on two different girls and now I think I am leading two more girls at work currently. Now I don't know what I am doing for this to be possible, all I'm being is a nice a person and a friend. I have a gilrfriend for many years now, so its not like I am looking for a girlfriend, if I was then I could say thats how I apparently lead two girls on. Anyways here are my stories. Girl #1 happened in english class grade 11. Almost 3 years ago. Did some group work, in class assignment. My 2 friends and I, my girlfriend was not in that class. So we are 3 guys that are pretty cool and laid back and more important nice. This one girl, didn't have a group and my group was the smallest group. Teacher asks us if she could join, so we could talk it over. So we figure well shes really smart, and always does her work so we dont have to worry about her not contributinig, plus we also figure since she was always on the honor role then she could help us out with our marks in his class. Me and one of my group members were having a real hard time in this english teachers class. So we let her join the group. So we became friends with her, she was alright. Anyways I don't know what I said or did, but she found some sort of attraction between her and I. People thought it was cute, so did my girlfriend. I didn't. Anyways I believe it was the friendship that I gave her that attracted her to me and in the end I had to stop being her friend. You could also arguee that I was being a pretty good friend to her because I was getting help with in class assignments. So in the end she thought a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship was forming and it wasn't. So I kinda led her on to believe that there was a spark there when there really wasn't. I never had the intentions on leading her on and I don't know how it happened since the topic of my girlfriend would always come up. Girl #2 Attraction started in grade 9 science. She found me attractive. She was somewhat friends with my girlfriend. Anything I would say to her would attract me to her more and more. She moved away after grade 10. Lost contact for about 1 year. Found each other on Facebook last year when we were in grade 12, we found each other sometime between November - December of 2006. Started talking again, as friends, well I though twe were talking as friends. Everything we said she took it to heart. She opened up to me that she had and still has feelings for me (and she still does to this day I was her first crush) and that she wanted me. Told her I can't since I am still with my girlfriend. She didn't really seem to care since she kept telling me she wanted me. In the end I put my foot down hard, when her friend got involved and started messaging me. In the end she got the message that I can't and don't to be with her since I have no intentions on leaving my girlfriend. Anyways she claims that I lead her on, I guess I did since at one point I just started telling her things that she wanted to hear. Girl #3: Girl at work that I think I am leading her on. She always comes and talks to me, does her work but if she has time to talk and I am near her department she comes and talks to me. Or if a customer says something to her and she needs to vent she comes and talks to me about it. I don't know if I am leading her on, probably not since she has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend, but there was a thing with a old co worker of mine saying to her that I like her, which is total BS. Most likley she is just being a good friend; however I am the only guy co worker that she actually touches. Girl #4: Other girl at work that I am more sure that I am leading her on. She always talks to me at work, messages me on facebook all the time if she notices that I am online, at work she does her work but if she has time to talk and I am near her department she talks to me or if shes on the way to help out a customer or stock a shelf she talks to me. Sometimes she asks me to go and help her face her department so we can talk to each other. I don't really know if I am leading her on, probably since she has no boyfriend and she always wants to talk to ME. Its possible that she is just being a good friend; however I don't want to be leading her on when I really have no intentions on being anything more then a friend to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I don't know - I think I look at it differently then most of you. When I was younger, I suppose I hung out with some men and thought more of our friendship than they did. When I realized that, maybe I could have said I was led on or played "victim" to I can't believe he led me on! When in truth, I probably just made more of it than what it was. Most recently, my ex of a year and a half. He stayed overnights at our apt often, we talked about marriage, he bought a house, was remodeling it, myself, his parents, my parents, we all thought we'd be engaged by summer. On January *th, after I questioned him about some things, he stated "I don't know what I want but I don't want to be in a relationship!" I suppose I could say he led me on and constantly look at it that way. Or I can take responsibility of ignoring all the signs that he wasn't completely happy or emotionally available - that he never offered as much as he should have but that it was me hoping that he really wanted a future rather than him saying or completely acting like he did. I choose the latter. Take my responsibility in misunderstanding what he wanted rather than being a victim of being being misled. I think it's just a matter of personal views and beliefs. I was angry at him for a long time. Blamed everything on him - him misleading me. Until one day I figured out I played a part in it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainPlanet Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yes I often get involved with women who are far too attractive for me. I will claim they led me on but in the majority of cases I led myself on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breath.o.fresh.air Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Yes I often get involved with women who are far too attractive for me. I will claim they led me on but in the majority of cases I led myself on. I think this is an awesome point: people generally aren't led on by others, but are led on by themselves by misconstruing actions of others, or not acknowledging the whole truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 i'd punch a girl in the face if she lead me on and im good for it and to the question, that answer is no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creamybutter Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 I did lead someone on, and ended up having a huge crush on them myself...lol funny story.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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