I need to stop romanticizing…

[phantpwr]

Ok so I ran into my ex last night..( we were together a yr ) It was awkward.. I got really nervous.. my heart was in my throat… He looked bad.. he was tipsy for one.. He noticeably gained weight ( in less than 2 months ) he just didn't seem over all attractive to me.. we kissed hello .. pop kiss on the lips.. hugged.. chatted hung with friends.. it was about a 20 minute encounter.. maybe less.. he had his arm around my waist at one moment.. and we kissed goodbye.. same as hello

 

I was glad I ran into him cause I said to myself.. " That's who you have been obsessing about for 2 months" But then again today im romanticizing again… why????

 

He's not the one for me….??? I guess when you love someone you still have feelings regardless???

 

Anyone got any answers??

[charlotte_skye]

Hi,

i think all of us have been in a similar situation where we find ourselves wondering why we still romantasize as u say even when we know they aint worth it or that we dont want to be with them again etc.

its hard to say in your situation as i dont know if you broke up with him or he with you, and the obsessing over the past 2 mnths was that obsessing abut wantin to get back together or obsessing about what you feel or what?

knowing these things would make it easier to give advice.

but if you did feel that he wasnt worth obsessing about and you actually felt over him when you saw him then i say what you feel is what we ALL feel, no matter what happens if you were in love with the person you will always love them, thats what love is.

my first love was over 2 yrs ago, he cheated on me and i left him , but what we had in times before was love and that doesnt just go away, i still think of him often and love him very much but what you have to ask yourself is, what do you feel when u romntasize?, is it IN love or just love, co swhat i feel for ppl ive been in love with b4 is deep very deep but i know ive moved on and just isnt the same but thats expected you will always have feelings for them.

[phantpwr]

good point.. i need to let that sink in.. he broke up with me.. it was my frist love from both sides...... and for the past 2 months i wanted him back.. i guess i still do.. even tho i was somewhat turned off last night... He broke up with me saying I love you but im not"IN" love with you anymore.. and most recently said in response to a heartfilled email from me. " I still love you but have been thinking alot and I think we are better off apart"

 

Sigh

 

I also want to get rid of this pain, I feel as if its holding on to some degree.. there needs to be a heartbreak pill

[charlotte_skye]

wow, my last relationship was almost exactly the same, this one wasnt my first love but he said no to taking me back after i broke up with him sayin" i love you so much but not IN love with you".

when he told me this he told me many other things in a letter afterwads, things like he just needed to knwo i was still there and that he love sme os much and misses me etc and always wants us to have one another and that pls not to just walk away as every other ex gf of his has.

your probably wondering when im goin to get to the point right, well the things is its been 3 mnths since then and weve remained best friends for me to realize its possible.....you can love someone but not be IN love anymore, i love him so much you have no idea, i never thought it was possible to love someone this much and it not be like in love or wanting relationship sorta thing. and it is true, sometimes even tho you love someone you knwo your better off apart but im afraid this can usualy be the most hurtful and frustrating of break ups.

It sounds like maybe he was a turn off when you saw him because he hadnt changed, cos he wasnt doing what you wanted or atleast not enough but still puttin his arm around you. you may have seeen that as pathetic or somehting of the like.

Give yourself time, its been 2 mnths, you were together a yr, when you saw him yu were turne doff...because you saw him doing badly instead of better and then the next day you were romnatzing again.....thats because wqhen your away fomr someone its amazing how well you only remember the good!!!!!

but then when its in your face its like a hit of reality in the face and you see its not all that or what you really want.

you have feelings for him, yu always will, it hasnt been quite long enough yet but sounds liek you got your head about you, your only romntazing cos your remembering the good but try and remember how you felt when you saw him.....when it was reality. hope this helps