GizMo567 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well, if you read my story then you understand the dilemma and such i am going through. So far it has been 5 days of NC and it hurts like hell. I want to call her so bad. Tell her i love her and i want to reconcile but i can't! I promised my friends that i wouldn't contact her for at least a month and a half. My heart is ripped in half and it sucks. Sorry i am just venting. NC SUCKS!! Link to comment
Andy_2007 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes, it certainly does. But believe me, what sucks even worse is contacting them and hearing things that hurt you even more... Link to comment
chopperboy Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Hang on with the N/C. The first few days are the worst, and then it starts getting easier. What Andy said it true, though. When you contact them, it's never the high you hope to feel. This girl chose to leave you, and she will not appreciate you trying to pull her back. Trying to do that will cast you into even deeper despair. Stick with the N/C for your own sake. If she comes back to you, let it be of her own initiative. Take care of yourself, man. I know how you feel. I'm going through the same -- 2 weeks of N/C today, and trying to stay strong. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes it does but the alternative is so much worse. In fact nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse. Be strong and trust in this. Link to comment
gee Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 12 and I'm at work as we speak...I am going nuts about this it is extremely difficult to concentrate! I am going to China March 10th and I wish I could at least send her a tex, but I might get a reply that might hurt me more. I thought I was getting better. Thoughts about her with someone else is destroying me and I'm trying my best to remove them. The more I try the worst it gets! I hope she is feeling the same way but I seriously doubt it! I wish I could hook up but I am not ready besides I would just be thinking about my ex so much..ugh! Link to comment
NorthDallas40 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes, it certainly does. But believe me, what sucks even worse is contacting them and hearing things that hurt you even more... EXACTLY. My ex just texted me today - after I told her 3 weeks ago that we shouldn't talk, text, email, or anything. I started to get my hopes up. Could she have had a change of heart? I eagerly read it. She was asking for a sandwhich recipe. And that's all. Link to comment
chopperboy Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 She was asking for a sandwhich recipe. And that's all. LOL How pathetic we all are! I know just the feeling you describe. N/C!!! Link to comment
gee Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Do I NOT reply if she contacts? Let's just say if she does. Does it depend on what she says? Link to comment
bustertypsy Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Do I NOT reply if she contacts? Let's just say if she does. Does it depend on what she says? Depending on what she says,reply if you feel like doing so.The important thing is to not initiate contact.Yes NC sucks,but give me a better alternative? If they don't want to be with us,there is NOTHING in this world that will make them want us,other than their own change of heart.We have no power over that,only they do. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Do I NOT reply if she contacts? Let's just say if she does. Does it depend on what she says? Don't borrow trouble, cross that bridge if/when you get to it - and then go with your gut instinct. Link to comment
indiechick Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I am only on day 2 of NC, although we have been broken up 2 wks. I heard how my ex was doing through mutual friends and it's put me on a downer! I know exactly what you're going through and I empathise.........hang in there.........it can only get better! right? Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 I think thats harder. It was hard because i know the scenario and i know the guy that she is dating. It sucks when you know the facts, especially when i had my heart ripped out. NC hurts so much but i guess i miss her that much as well. I think i am just super depressed and trying my hardest to forget. I guess it really isn't that easy. Link to comment
nic2463 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Trust me mate n/c is the only way and beware if she calls you.My ex phoned last about some stupid thing and then went on to tell me how happy she is with her new guy. Absolutley gutted that she can say this sort of stuff.Be warned.I wont answer any calls or txt from my ex ever again. Link to comment
Lionel Hutz Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 It does get better my friend. My ex tried to call me multiple times after we broke up. Its been about five months and we started off with LC and then I told her we should not speak. She could never really stick to it because she wanted the benefits of having my companionship, but without the resposibility of being in a relationship. Fair to me? Hell no! We went NC for a period of time and now she wants to work on "US" why? Because she does not want me with anyone else. I realised this when I talked to her and she got jealous of another girl, but wait we are not a couple anymore. I can flirt with who ever I want. It not about us anymore, its about me and my needs. Youve got to stick it out. You have to no longer care about them or the idea of you and her as a couple. Youve gotta be selfish and Its gotta be about just you, and you know why? Because thats all they were thinking about when they broke up with you, themselves.Now its your turn and before you know it they will want you back, or maybe not. I can garuntee by the time either of those things happen you will probaby not care. I could say that it takes at least two weeks to begin to cope with NC. Give it some time. Dont ignore them if they contact you, be respectful and give one or two word replies. That way they will either get a hint that you want to be left alone, or they will ask what is wrong with you? And what is wrong with you in this case, hmmmm I dont know, you are not a couple anymore. This way they will realise what they have lost; which is you, and you are valuable to yourself first and foremost. The thing is to learn again what it is like to be single and confident, which is what they saw in you in the first place, not some needy sulking person with no confidence. So stick it out, its a win win situation. Link to comment
Addicus Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 EXACTLY. My ex just texted me today - after I told her 3 weeks ago that we shouldn't talk, text, email, or anything. I started to get my hopes up. Could she have had a change of heart? I eagerly read it. She was asking for a sandwhich recipe. And that's all. That is really insensitive of your ex! Really, especially after you anounce NC....I told my ex, she has not tried to contact and believe me I am happy that she has not...would be pretty upset with her if she had tried to contact me. Even if she called me tomorrow and said lets talk....I would be mad. By telling her that I need space to move on and let go I set a boundary, if she didn't respect it I would lose all respect for her..maybe she knows that maybe she has no desire to contact me..she left the ball in my court and told me "I totally respect your decision, feel free to contact me when you choose to" I am still healing and moving on and may never contact her again.....ONE DAY AT A TIME Link to comment
Thornbirds18 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes, it sucks now but you will appreciate it later on. Believe me I was in the similar situation. I broke NC many times and all I had was pain. So once I started the real NC and then I put myself together after 33 days. Then he called and I was back in limbo...struggled for another two weeks and restarted the NC after he didn't respond all my calls, emails, or texts. Now I still care for him but my urge of breaking NC has been 0. I might never hear from him again, but so what? C'est la vie. So hang in there and you'll be OK. The more you contact her the more you'd push her away. When you call/text/email you have expectations but once your expecations aren't met your heart will be ripped into more pieces. Well, if you read my story then you understand the dilemma and such i am going through. So far it has been 5 days of NC and it hurts like hell. I want to call her so bad. Tell her i love her and i want to reconcile but i can't! I promised my friends that i wouldn't contact her for at least a month and a half. My heart is ripped in half and it sucks. Sorry i am just venting. NC SUCKS!! Link to comment
Pinkbunny Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 NC does suck, but giving in to the impulse to call has worse consequences in reguards to the healing process. Go forward, don't go backward. Calling your ex would be going backward. I hope this helps! Hang in there!!! Link to comment
joelseph Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 definitely feel for all of you, honestly the worse feeling in the world im on day 33 of nc i think she tried to contact me through aim on day 17 which i didnt think she would at all its tough, very tough...i dont feel like * * * * 100% of the time anymore...only like 80% lol it really goes in cycles...couple hours i feel like complete crap and just want to talk to her...then a couple hours i feel ok it gets better...very very slowly, word of advice though....dont look at thei facbook or myspace..take thei # outa ur phone...block thoughts of em (impossible i know,i thnink bout her 24/7 no joke)...dont remenise old memories....if u start to just start doin addition problems in ur head Link to comment
chopperboy Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 word of advice though....dont look at their facbook or myspace.. Very very true. You may think that passive browsing of their profiles is harmless, but you may end up seeing things you will with you had not -- your photos with your ex deleted, new relationship status, photos of their current "love" all over the profile, messages about how blissed out they are. Spare yourself that pain. Do not follow up on any social networks. Link to comment
Levora14 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Very very true. You may think that passive browsing of their profiles is harmless, but you may end up seeing things you will with you had not -- your photos with your ex deleted, new relationship status, photos of their current "love" all over the profile, messages about how blissed out they are. Spare yourself that pain. Do not follow up on any social networks. Oh, boy. Absolutely steer clear of those places. I didn't and it ended up with me spiraling into a deep and dark depression. That was like almost a month ago and I am still battling the thoughts I get of the terrible things my ex is doing. Ugh. Spare yourself indeed! If you think you are over them or pretty much healed and won't suffer from seeing it, you are kidding yourself! By the time you are fully healed and indifferent to whatever or whomever your ex is doing, you won't even care to check up on them. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 HAHAHAHA i screwed up and called her. I called her because deep inside of me, i need to know the reason she broke up with me. I'm such a complete and utter moron that i did that. How stupid am i!? I'm so dumb. Link to comment
joelseph Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 so what did she say or worse off lol what did u say Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 I completely lost it because she was at his house and the relationship is out in the open already. Screw the 3 years that we had. I was stupid and paid the dear consequences for my actions. I am now entirely dead inside as everything exploded. Word to the wise, DON'T EVER DO THAT. IT WILL LEAD TO MORE PAIN. If only i listened...I'm just stupid. Link to comment
Tinnes Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 GizMo567, you learn on your own mistakes. Well, funny thing is that all the stupid and wrong things I could done, I did it before I foud this forum. At one point I just couldn't bare the pain I felt, so I decided not to call ever again. It is better when you feel that on your skin and drow conclusion on your own. Don't be sad for what you did.It is better when you know you tried everything. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Well, I'm not just stupid, I'm a idiotic destroyed fool with no heart left. After all that has happened to me in the last year, i don't even know where to begin on picking up the pieces left by her, my best friend, my ex-friends, work and school. Hell, it's simply amazing i am still alive. If anyone was wondering how the phone call started and ended, i basically told her F U 2 or 3 times with a how in the hell can you do that to me and what the hell did i do to deserve that. I told her i couldn't believe 3 years meant nothing, that i was treated like a piece of trash that you throw away never to be seen. I also said that i hope her new relationship works out but for my sake stay the hell away from me. No contact. Nothing. Then i hung up. I am now obliterated with nothing left inside. I feel like a waste of space and thoughts of suicide are creeping in. I'm just devastated. I guess thats why you go NC. I'm stupid and don't think i can forgive myself for this one. Link to comment
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