retrieving personal possesions/small claims court

[grashamm]

My ex has a number of valuable things of mine, that I originally failed to get back from her in hopes of reconciliation. We lived together for 2.5 yrs, but weren't married. Now that reconciliation seems like a snowballs chance in hell, I would like to get my things.

 

I have attempted to contact her about these with no response. She is being very immature. I want this stuff back.

 

I considered taking her to small claims court over these items, but I am not sure if this is just me expressing my anger with her or if my complaints are legitimate.

 

Need advice?

[haley_girl_28]

Depends on the value of the items. Are they under $100? Probably not worth your time. I had to sue someone once in small claims court. When they got the letter saying they were sued they took care of the problem. Most people don't want to spend a half day in court.

 

You could try sending a registered letter to her, listing the items, the total approximate value, and a deadline for returning them. It might even help your case if you go to court.

[grashamm]

greater than $1000

[RayKay]

I agree, depends on the value.

 

Small claims court does not cost much (you are not represented) but it does cost time off from work and mental strain (and annoyance).

 

If you do go in...make sure to have an itemized list of items (including any documentation if you have such as receipts) you are claiming and be cool-headed. In my experience, small claims court judges are not going to care much about all the emotional drama, will try and get some sort of compromise between you but will lean more towards someone whom seems well organized about their claim than someone whom isn't.

 

If she does not show up, you still get a default judgment against her & can have that judgment enforced - so that kind of immaturity would come to bite her on the butt.

[haley_girl_28]

It also depends on whether you can get off of work on the day the court is scheduled, sometimes you get choices of weekdays, sometimes not.

 

If you are off anyway, nothing to lose. It is a bit nervewracking gettin gup in front of a judge, some might actually like the experience, some might be fearful of it.

 

Right as RayKay said, the judge just wants the facts. Thats why a registered letter beforehand might help you. Any documentation is better than none.

[jenny_mcs]

My ex has a number of valuable things of mine, that I originally failed to get back from her in hopes of reconciliation. We lived together for 2.5 yrs, but weren't married. Now that reconciliation seems like a snowballs chance in hell, I would like to get my things.

 

I have attempted to contact her about these with no response. She is being very immature. I want this stuff back.

 

I considered taking her to small claims court over these items, but I am not sure if this is just me expressing my anger with her or if my complaints are legitimate.

 

Need advice?

 

I would try 2 more things before you go through the hassle of small claims court. 1) Send her a completely non-emotional e-mail with a list of things you want back, and ask her to name a time for you to come collect the things. Wait at least 2 weeks. If she doesn't respond, send a registered letter (that way you will have proof that she received it), stating (again, completely non-emotional) that you have contacted her numerous times in an effort to retrieve your belongings, and this is your last effort. State that if you don't hear back from her by a certain date, the next step for you will be to go to small claims court.

[Chele]

Make sure you find out where you stand with the law first.

 

The laws are so outrageous here in Australia that my boyfriends exgirlfriend stole lots of his belongings worth many thousands of dollars and the police told him that they were legally half hers.

 

The laws in these areas can be very stupid and unfair so prepare yourself. If you are living somewhere that has laws that can defend you then stand up for your rights.

 

Good Luck

[Kiwi_Sweet]

If this is actually your stuff that you bought with your own money than I agree with you that she is being very immature. Was she this difficult when you guys were together? I mean, how hard could it possibly be to return you your stuff? If she does will she have anything of her own? I bet that's why she doesn't want to return? She probably thinks "oh, we've been together for 2 years so I think I'm entitled to this stuff"...Does that sound like her?

[grashamm]

Yes, and its very frustrating, considering I gave her more the lions share of the furniture.

 

She seems to think I am just going to go away.

[Zeter]

Be aware that you may get a money judgment (enforced by selling her property to pay costs and the judgment) and not an order requiring her to return your stuff.

 

Zeter

[onewithbooks]

If you do go in...make sure to have an itemized list of items (including any documentation if you have such as receipts) you are claiming and be cool-headed. In my experience, small claims court judges are not going to care much about all the emotional drama, will try and get some sort of compromise between you but will lean more towards someone whom seems well organized about their claim than someone whom isn't.

 

I think that Ray Kay has fabulous advice! Bring any and all documentation that you might need. Better to have it and not want it, than to want it and not have it.

 

I would try 2 more things before you go through the hassle of small claims court. 1) Send her a completely non-emotional e-mail with a list of things you want back, and ask her to name a time for you to come collect the things. Wait at least 2 weeks. If she doesn't respond, send a registered letter (that way you will have proof that she received it), stating (again, completely non-emotional) that you have contacted her numerous times in an effort to retrieve your belongings, and this is your last effort. State that if you don't hear back from her by a certain date, the next step for you will be to go to small claims court.

 

 

Also excellent advice, this way you have written proof you have tried to contact her on multiple occasions. The judge will wonder why she hasnt tried to make arrangements to get your things. I dont think a judge will look to favorabley if she cant give a reasonable answer.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. She's really taking advantage of you and it's not fair. I think you should definitely pursue her in small claims court. After you file your complaint I wouldn't call her anymore. She might try to counter-sue for harassment. We know it would be a lie, but she could be keeping track of your incoming calls then you would be screwed. I wouldn't put it past her, because she seems sneaky.

[grashamm]

It is now 12/08.

 

Just to share with everyone, I am much stronger than I was when I originally posted. I have had my cs suit ready, since about 6/08, however, I have more than replaced the things she took from me.

 

My immediate family is not as well off, as hers and I would have like to have given those things to them or to a charity, the "things" were never that important to me, I just did not want her to benefit from my hard work, considering she cheated.

 

Obviously, I am still not happy about what transpired, OF COURSE.

 

However, my parents are happier that i moved on, than I think any of those "material" possesions would have ever made them.

 

Those material things she took from me, will eventually wear out.

 

What she unsuccessfully tried to take, and won't wear out; my resilience, my confidence, my love of life, and ME/my-SELF/AND I!

 

No lawyer, mediation, lawsuit, nor court gave this back to me. Just time, and as soons as I stopped fighting it, IT HAPPENED.

 

Not to mention, I make WAAAAYYYY!!! more money NOW!!

 

Much love and respect to everyone who contributes to this forum, time does heal.

 

TY