My mother's a narcissist?! Explains a lot

[Mock Chop]

So here starts my story.

 

At 37 years old, someone has handed me the pieces of the puzzle that explain so many things - and it's sent me reeling.

 

How do you come to terms with the fact that your mother, the person who was supposed to nurture you and love you unconditionally, has a narcissistic personality disorder which renders her incapable of 'love' and empathy? How do you move on from the emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse that has rendered you empty and mistrusting?

 

Things make sense now, but with that understanding comes a huge burden of grief. I am grieving for the mother I should have had, the mother every child deserves. The feeling of loss is overwhelming - but how can you lose something you never had to start off with?

 

This will be my story. The story of my childhood I thought was 'normal'. The far reaching implications and effect her behaviour toward me has had on the way I feel about everything. And it will also be my story of recovery, healing and moving forward.