when he drink too much?

[judy1111]

My bf is a really nice guy.. at least i know that he is sincere towards me.. but there is one problem.. he drinks too much.. he's got a good career but requires him to go out for entertainment a lot... he knows that he drinks too much but sometimes he will make excuses for himself to feel ok abt drinking.. drinking has made him become an unorganized person.. house is in an absolute mess.. dirty clothes are piling up.. and all he got in his fridge are alcohol or alcohol mixers.. and when he drinks.. he talks really egotistical stuff.. what should i do?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. I definitely would not put up with something like that and neither should you!

[Russ]

1. Cook him a big dinner.

2. Feed him until hes near unconscious.

3. Talk to him about it. Tell him he needs AA, whatever. He'll be too tired to care and will agree to anything.

[CallingAllAngels]

Sounds to me like his drinking IS a problem.

 

It's affecting his relationship with you, and his personal life, if he's allowed it to make his life become completely unorganized.

 

You can't control his drinking. Only he can admit that he has a problem.

[ghost69]

you either offer to get him help or you move on. it's obviously bringing the relationship down.

[judy1111]

I've talked to him.. he knows he drinks too much but just doesn't have enough will power to get over that habit.. and yes, it is affecting our relationship.. and we only dated for 2 months.. and recently he became really sick.. and still wanna have beers.. and started tellling me that he should drink still coz when he make a clean quit in a sudden.. it will affect his health.. does it make sense?

[JadedStar]

My bf is a really nice guy.. at least i know that he is sincere towards me.. but there is one problem.. he drinks too much.. he's got a good career but requires him to go out for entertainment a lot... he knows that he drinks too much but sometimes he will make excuses for himself to feel ok abt drinking.. drinking has made him become an unorganized person.. house is in an absolute mess.. dirty clothes are piling up.. and all he got in his fridge are alcohol or alcohol mixers.. and when he drinks.. he talks really egotistical stuff.. what should i do?

 

I think the making excuses for his drinking is pretty alarming. It can be a pretty good indicator that he is on his way towards alcoholism.

 

You have reason to worry. When drinking affects ones day to day habits likle this then yes, it is becoming a problem.

 

 

If you have talked to him and he doesn't think he needs to change then you might have to rethink this relationship. YOu don't want to be stuck in a realtionship with an abuser or drugs or alcohol.

[ghost69]

makes perfect sense. get out now. 2 months in means you shouldn't have much attachment yet.

[rosephase]

It sounds like an issue. But if you have only been with him two months you don't really have time to know what his drinking is affecting. He might just be a sloppy house keeper.

 

But if he has admitted it's a problem and hasn't done anything about it, you might want to walk away. But make sure he understands that is the reason before you leave.

[CallingAllAngels]

I've talked to him.. he knows he drinks too much but just doesn't have enough will power to get over that habit.. and yes, it is affecting our relationship.. and we only dated for 2 months.. and recently he became really sick.. and still wanna have beers.. and started tellling me that he should drink still coz when he make a clean quit in a sudden.. it will affect his health.. does it make sense?

 

Hon...you are describing the behavior of an alcoholic. If he won't get help for himself, then you get help for yourself. There is a support group for people who need help dealing with this.

 

It's called Al-Alon. I am sure there is one in your area...they are known around the world.

 

I would think long and hard before I invested anymore of myself in this relationship.

 

Good luck to you.

 

~Allie

[shes2smart]

I've talked to him.. he knows he drinks too much but just doesn't have enough will power to get over that habit.. and yes, it is affecting our relationship.. and we only dated for 2 months.. and recently he became really sick.. and still wanna have beers.. and started tellling me that he should drink still coz when he make a clean quit in a sudden.. it will affect his health.. does it make sense?

 

Y'know...I used to have a relationship with a guy who said things like this.

 

He was an alcoholic and I spent (wasted) 5 very stormy, drama-filled, horrendous years going back and forth with him. He was a mean drunk to boot and was verbally abusive. Fortunately (?) for me, he refrained from being physically abusive...save for that one time there was a hiking boot aimed in the general direction of my head.

 

From someone who's been there, done that and bought the t-shirt, you'd be saving yourself A LOT of grief by bowing out at 2 months in rather than waiting around for him to fulfill his promises of sobriety. Someone with an active, untreated addiction is in no shape to build a healthy relationship.

 

Getting sober is a full-time job in and of itself. You can tell him if he sobers up (and gets AT LEAST one solid year of sobriety under his belt), he's welcome to call you. Otherwise, you're likely to be getting yourself in a mess of a relationship.

[judy1111]

Thanks for all the precious advice.. I'll talk to him again.. I think I'll know wat to do if he refuse to rectify his drinking problem..

[CallingAllAngels]

Good luck to you judy....