MCR7 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Maybe I should have worded my previous post a little differently...I NEVER wished anything bad to happen to my ex. There is a part of me that still loves and cares about him even though he treated me pretty badly during our break up. I just think that Karma caught up with him eventually after a whole string of negative events in his life. There was NOTHING wrong with your post! You simply outlined factual information - curiously, back luck befell him after he scre*ed you over. Done and done! Link to comment
Aday5578 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 This is just me...I hope my ex never hurts as bad as I do. I just dont work like that. I dont think it is good to feel like this..BUT again that is JUST ME. I hope his life is a great one full of happiness. And some people will say I am not in the anger stage anymore...but even when I went through my divorce and previous break-ups I NEVER felt that way. It takes too much energy to hope such things....NOW there is a but. Let me tell you this and this may be karma but my sister cheated on her husband about 3 years ago...she is crazy..so she left him..but soon realized she had done wrong and went back to him...7 months later her husband cheated on her and left her for good. It is asad situation because they both are a little crazy but when she says to people "He left me for somebody else...he is a dog" I want to tell her so bad "Remember you did it too..the only difference is for some reason she came back"..she ALWAYS listens to that song and I think to myself.."You are right..you got what you put out..you got it back" Link to comment
MCR7 Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 MAN! Dude, that is A LOT to deal with. Please know I am very sorry for you. That's awful. And she sounds incredibly immature. Perhaps there were warning signs? It's easy for me to say...but honestly that is just no way to behave as a mother. My two are now in their teens, and I knew it was not going to work with their father when they were very little, but there was plenty of time to prepare the family for the inevitable. It sounds again like she's horribly childish, it's all about her, and I think she may just crash and burn which will also be sad. So sorry, again. Please take care of yourself ! Link to comment
misshimalready Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 let's just say karma is a b-i-t-c-h... and i know it first hands, what my ex did to me... i did it to him first.... sad to say but this song is true... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 I don't know if what goes around ever comes around... I know the best revenge is living well, and that's what I plan on doing.... ~Allie Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Best Revenge is living well... But the problem with that is, at first you are so crushed with what actually happened and all you think is "I did live well and happy with her, how is that going to happen again without her". I know with time everything passes etc. I think i'm entering Anger stage because i get this bursts of anger and hate that is all bottling up inside of me. I want her to get what's coming to her... i really, really badly want her to feel what i, and probably 3 or more guys before me felt. R Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Best Revenge is living well... But the problem with that is, at first you are so crushed with what actually happened and all you think is "I did live well and happy with her, how is that going to happen again without her". I know with time everything passes etc. I think i'm entering Anger stage because i get this bursts of anger and hate that is all bottling up inside of me. I want her to get what's coming to her... i really, really badly want her to feel what i, and probably 3 or more guys before me felt. R Yup...I totally agree with you...I felt that way too....but...I have been separated from my husband for ONE year, AND I STILL FEEL THAT WAY AT TIMES. But, with TIME, you will feel less and less of that towards you ex (I do not know if this is an ex girlfriend or wife you speak of). It is the passage of TIME (and it sucks man...it takes a long time) that makes these crazy terrible feelings of VENGENGE go away. NOT completely...it depends on how long you were with the person, etc. But, they are NOT good for the soul. They really aren't. I'm sorry that you feel this way right now. Give it time. And JUST remember...the BEST revenge is LIVING well. Here's to living BETTER than the EX.... *Cheers* ~Allie Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 30, 2008 Author Share Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks... It's Ex girlfriend and we lived together for 8-9 months. There is so much more to life that i know i want to experience, it's just that i don't feel like doing anything just yet... I also have no interest in anything... It's been a month and some days... but it still feels too early. That song always gets to me though... It reminds me so much of her from the day i met her and how everything was just perfect... in a way Link to comment
ccpjc Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 seriously robert man... i hated JT, still do, but my ex loved him.. this is one of my break up songs as well, i was listening to it one day after we broke up, like actually listened to it and everything seemed so true, except for the stuff that you bolded i also have a remix of the song.. so much alike, its very weird Link to comment
ccpjc Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 btw our anniversary would have been may 9th don't tell me urs is anywhere close to that? Link to comment
RedBranchKnight Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 I remember for a couple of weeks I was really angry and wanted to tell my ex what I thought of how she handled things and so on, dont really care too much now. At times I get annoyed remembering what happened, but suppose its natural since its still fresh. Personally Iv seen enough events affect other people (and affect me) that I do believe in karma and 'you reap what you sow'. I dont know whats happening in my ex's life at the moment and want to keep it that way, so if something does happen to her I wouldnt know about it anyway lol. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 btw our anniversary would have been may 9th don't tell me urs is anywhere close to that? may 12th bud. That is so weird. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 I remember for a couple of weeks I was really angry and wanted to tell my ex what I thought of how she handled things and so on, dont really care too much now. At times I get annoyed remembering what happened, but suppose its natural since its still fresh. Personally Iv seen enough events affect other people (and affect me) that I do believe in karma and 'you reap what you sow'. I dont know whats happening in my ex's life at the moment and want to keep it that way, so if something does happen to her I wouldnt know about it anyway lol. I guess like I said I'm just entering this anger stage now and it comes and goes in waves as well. Half of me hates her for what she did to me; the other half wants her back and all. Its going to get better I hope, because all this crap is really making me nuts. That song was on the radio on my way home. Its just so amazing how a certain song, smell or whatever gets tied to an event; it just made me go thru the memories of our first day together... It all just blows. Link to comment
lost1234 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Hey robert7x, Glad you're still trying keeping your positive attitude. Doesn't healing feel like taking a bandage off slowly. I wish someone would just rip it off. It would be even more painful, but at least it would be over with. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 I don't know if I'm healing or just pushing the feelings down because its not getting any better. I mean its definetely not like the first or 2nd week, but she's been on my mind a lot. I miss her... What can I say, it will take time. I'm trying to get it all behind me fast but it doesnt work that way. I'm not interested in going out or even think about dating. Hopefully that passes soon. How you doing bud? Link to comment
lost1234 Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Doesn't hurt so much anymore. Keeping busy, but can't stop thinking about her. I feel sad and lonely all the time now. I have no interest in dating anyone else either. Hopefully this feeling will pass and other women will interest me. Just trying to keep moving forward. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 you and me both bud... It's only been a month though... so now we know it does get better... not as much as we'd hope but it's better then what we've been thru. I hope it doesn't take more then another month for me... The damn Valentines day is coming... i'm really starting to hate that day... it's the 2nd time i'm alone on that day and every freaking comercial on tv "Get your loved one this" and "Take your love one here" I swear to God i just want to shoot my own tv... I wish i can skip the 14th all together and wake up tomorrow and it's the 16th. Link to comment
Beginningandend Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 you and me both bud... It's only been a month though... so now we know it does get better... not as much as we'd hope but it's better then what we've been thru. I hope it doesn't take more then another month for me... The damn Valentines day is coming... i'm really starting to hate that day... it's the 2nd time i'm alone on that day and every freaking comercial on tv "Get your loved one this" and "Take your love one here" I swear to God i just want to shoot my own tv... I wish i can skip the 14th all together and wake up tomorrow and it's the 16th. It does get easier in time, too. 4 days from now will mark the 7th month of her walking out, and I'm ok. Still have a down moment now and then but they are less and less, and I think of her very little. Since you are single again, enjoy it. There are perks that while I know are hard to see now it does make the transition easier. Everything you do from here on is for yourself. Want to see a movie that you know she probably wouldn't have cared for? Go for it. Go to a favorite hangout or even better, some place you always wanted to go. Enjoy the independence, and while you are single it gives you the time to focus on things you may have missed or passed up on, plus gives you time to prioritize and focus on yourself. It also let's you learn more about yourself and what is most important to you which will carry over when you decide you want to start dating again, as it will help you look for someone who shares your ideals. It is hard, but as long as your single you may as well make the most of it. In the end it may very well be beneficial to you, and make you an even stronger person. Link to comment
robert7x Posted January 31, 2008 Author Share Posted January 31, 2008 I agree with everything you said, and trust me, i'm trying to do all the things i like and that she wouldn't want to do etc... But in the end I realize, these are just the little things that really didn't matter that much anyway. I need to look at the big picture... I really don't have any goals... I feel like i achieved what i wanted to achieve as far as work goes and that's why i wanted to settle down, get married, kids etc. It didn't happen... not with this girl, even though we talked about doing it all. So I guess i need some goals or something that will make my life more interesting. It's a lot more interesting when i'm in a relationship, i'll tell you that much. Because, doing stuff alone is just no fun. Thanks for a reply Link to comment
samantha20 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 sometimes I wonder if I deserved my girlfriend cheating on me and dumping me for someone else when I first met her she had a boyfriend that she had been with a long time. She told me that they had always been more like friends and that they never kissed/had sex/did anything affectionate and that they were only technically a couple because he was in love with her, she told him she didn't feel the same and he begged her to stay his girlfriend, even if it meant them never doing anything. I became good friends with both of them, the three of us worked in a nightclub together. She was my manager, he was security, I was bar staff. I used to go out drinking with them and one night, when her boyfriend had gone to bed, we ended up having sex in the lounge. I felt bad because her boyfriend was my friend, and the fact that they weren't a 'proper' couple was no excuse, because I knew how much he loved her. Then things got really * * * * ed up. I moved into my manager's flat (which was above the club) with her and her boyfriend. She would stay up late in my bed having sex with me whilst her boyfriend was asleep next door and then get into bed with him and go to sleep. We would also arrange our nights off together (she did the rota) and have nights in together kissing and watching films whilst he was at work downstairs. I feel like crying as I'm writing this because I know how wrong it was. Her boyfriend was so good to me, he said I was one of his best friends and he was always helping me out with stuff. He even moved all my stuff into their flat for me and the whole time I was * * * * ing his girlfriend. She broke up with him a couple of months after I moved in and he moved into the room I had been sleeping in because there wasn't another room. So conveniently I had to share a bed with my manager because there was nowhere for me to sleep after her ex moved into my room. We claimed that this was the only reason, and that I had nowhere else to live, and that it wasn't weird that we shared a bad because we were best friends. This went on for months.. me living above the nightclub I worked in, with my manager and her ex, and having a secret lesbian relationship with my manager whilst her ex slept next door. It was so messed up. She kept saying that I didn't split them up and that it would have happened anyway because she never loved him, but I still felt really bad. Anyway, after a couple of years, my manager quit her job and her ex got her old manager's job and her flat became his. They fell out over money she'd lent him and she and I both moved out into separate flats. He never found out what was going on but I think he must have blamed me in some part because he hasn't really spoken to me since, and maybe he noticed that all there problems started when I moved in. So my girlfriend and I continued having this secret relationship, and to try and stop rumours about us, we each kissed a man in front of people we knew. The man that she kissed told her straightaway that he had feelings for her, and the short story is that she dumped me for him after (suspectedly) cheating on me with him, and he dumped HIS girlfriend who he had been with for 8 years to be with her. It's been a month since we broke up and since she's been with this new guy, and after being inseperable with me for about 2 years, she has pretty much forgotten I exist, spends all her time with this guy and never contacts me or returns my messages. I spent my whole time at uni with her, isolated myself from other students and now I'm left completely alone. Her first ex has a new girlfriend and he won't really speak to me anymore, she has her new boyfriend and I've never felt pain and loneliness like this. So now I'm thinking, was this karma? did I deserve what she did to me? I know what I did was wrong, but I consoled myself in thinking they wouln't have stayed together anyway and I was just so infatuated with her. You don't need to judge me and tell me what a bad person I am, I put myself first, I saw what I wanted and took it. I want to say that I was a naive 18 year old, that she was my older employer and that she took advantage of me. That would make it so much easier. But whilst she made the first move, I knew what I was doing and I never tried to stop it. I feel bad for what I did, but will it ever come around to her? She hurt her first boyfriend and me, and her new boyfriend cheated on and dumped his girlfriend. Will the karma ever come around to them? My ex has caused the most pain in this, and she's the one that's never alone. She's not even sorry.. and I really am. Link to comment
robert7x Posted February 5, 2008 Author Share Posted February 5, 2008 I can't say i agree with everything you did and the outcome pretty much speaks for itself... You could say it's Karma if you believe in that, but i honestly don't know... All i can say, people do crazy stuff when they are in love... The once that are really in love don't think about the consequences or who they hurt in the process. I've learned that from experience that both times i ended up getting screwed... All i can say is don't blame yourself for what happened... if she didn't want this to happen, she would tell you and would not do this to her BF at the time. So you played small part, but she played bigger part as she was the one hurting another person. You're ex is like my ex because she just goes from relationship to relationship... Doesn't care who she hurts in process as long as she's happy. Eventually, Karma will catch up to her as well... We may never know, but trust me, life tends to unfold the way it should, and there is nothing we can do about it. Don't beat yourself up too much over this now... what's done is done... You can't go back in past and change things, and even if you could, would you want to? I ask myself this all the time, and i Say, No i would change a thing. What i had with her was a great experience for me and i loved her a lot. However, life goes on.... Link to comment
heynowwww Posted February 6, 2008 Share Posted February 6, 2008 I was just reading this post and I still have an overwhelming feeling of "there has to be some justice in this world". I always thought that if I lived my life a certain way and treated people right then good things would happen, I got burned by my ex girlfriend but I keep trying to tell myself that good things will still happen, it just takes time. I still feel as tho she has not received any ramifications for her careless actions, but maybe someday she will, who really know. Link to comment
robert7x Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 You shouldn't even care about that. It really shouldn't matter to you if she gets what's coming to her or not. Live your life the way you want it. Thinking about it and constantly obsessing if she'll get hers at the end won't help you move on. Focus on yourself and enjoy life... nobody knows what the future might bring. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 You shouldn't even care about that. It really shouldn't matter to you if she gets what's coming to her or not. Live your life the way you want it. Thinking about it and constantly obsessing if she'll get hers at the end won't help you move on. So very very true... We are only wasting our time when we constantly allow ourselves to think about "the other person". I know this is easier said than done. But we give them all "the power" when we do. They are more than likely NOT thinking about us. We give them all our "control", and thus, they "win". The only person we can control is OURSELVES. Start thinking about what YOU want to do with YOUR life...not about what you want to happen to your sig other.... Life is too short man... My best... ~Allie Link to comment
robert7x Posted February 8, 2008 Author Share Posted February 8, 2008 So very very true... We are only wasting our time when we constantly allow ourselves to think about "the other person". I know this is easier said than done. But we give them all "the power" when we do. They are more than likely NOT thinking about us. We give them all our "control", and thus, they "win". The only person we can control is OURSELVES. Start thinking about what YOU want to do with YOUR life...not about what you want to happen to your sig other.... Life is too short man... My best... ~Allie Great Post... A lot of wisdom on this forum lately I guess a lot of us are finnaly getting the picture of life and what it's all about. Best of luck to all. Link to comment
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