I'm Tired of This...

[mahlina]

I'm so sick and tired of my ex calling me.

 

First of all, he's the one who initially walked out. Then we got back together, then I walked out.

 

I've disconnected my number, and have blocked his number from my main home #. My family has all ready told him not to call.

 

He's found other alternatives to call me such as work. He won't stop calling my work#. My boss is getting pissed, b/c he's bugging her and other employees.

 

Secondly, I've never given him my # at work. It makes me frantic to pick up the phone even at work. I've blocked out all of the possible numbers that he could call me from, like his friends' numbers and such.

 

Why won't he get it? I feel like he's harassing me. I can't even focus on school peacefully b/c of the thought of him lingering onto the presensce won't allow me to move on.

 

I'm so scared, especially b/c he might one day, show up at my work. I'm really scared. I'm trying to get over the relationship, but he keeps on tring to contact me. I've made it clear to him that I don't want him in my life anymore. I've ignored all of his calls since then.

 

I'm so confused. A part of me still misses him, but being rational, I know that things won't work out. However, him trying to hang on is completely putting a strain on me. I'm constantly paranoid of him contacting me. I don't need this stress right now. Anyone have any advice?

 

Anyone in the same situation? Is he calling b/c he feels guilty, or is it that he wants to use me? Am I in denial, or should I face my fears and talk to him?

 

I really don't understand the rationality behind this.

[Hero_99]

Well, you can't get a restraining number because he initially has not done anything to you, so the next step would be to keep on doing what you are doing. If he does manage to contact you personally over the phone or in person tell him that he is not welcome to communicate with you anymore and leave it there.

[Ash]

Sounds like he's having a really tough time letting go.

 

The only thing I can suggest is to write him a letter, or possibly email him and let him know one last time that you do not wish to contact him anymore because you have to get on with your life. Tell him one last time to stop calling. The only thing you might want to tell him is that he is free to email you if he feels he must, and that you will read the emails, but are extremely unlikely to respond. At least that way he can feel that if he needs to say something, he can, but it will be one sided. Of course, you can always choose to delete the emails without reading them. That might take him almost completely out of the picture, but still give him just enough that he might back down on the calls. And eventually, hopefully he'll give up and leave you alone for good.

[jaron]

Actually...I think you can file a harassment lawsuit or something..and if he keeps harassing you, you CAN get a restraining order against him. But I dont really recommend that, but then again im not one to let the police handle things *wink* Ok lets see... I think you're best bet is to talk to him one last time about it all. and at the end of your speech threaten him with the lawsuit or somethin. Talk to him in a public place, or call him on the phone. Don't be alone with him, he might freak out or something and you'll need people around so he won't. Hope this helps! If you have anymore ?'s email me!

[The Morrigan]

Wrong - you can get a restraining order for stalking and harassment - stalking laws allow for that. He's contacting you through numbers he had to track down, and using numbers to do it knowing you've blocked his and others you know of - that's crossing the line.

 

I'd give him an ultimatum if it's starting to interfere with your job and take some control over this situation before it gets even more out of hand.

[faeriechyld]

Agreed. You can definitely get a restraining order, and in this way you will not have to contact him. He will be served with an order telling him if he comes in a certain distance of you, he will receive a punishment of some sort. This is a bit extreme, but sometimes that is what it takes. I was in this situation and against my mom's advice(and my better judgement) I did not get a restraining order and for two years had to put up with my ex.

 

It's not fair for you to have to live your life in fear. I would talk to your family about this and see what they think and possibly even talk to the police and see what your options are. This is why they have laws against situations like this. You have to decide what is best for you. Living in fear does not sound like an appealing lifestyle, but it is ultimately your decision. I wish you the best of luck and hope he will stop bothering you on his own.

[mahlina]

Thank You for all of your response.

 

I think the best thing that I can do for now is to file a restraining order if he persists on calling at work. I'll see what happens. Ultimately, I hope that he'll get the message and stop calling.

[ZoneAmped]

I had the same problem with one of my exs - it took a long time but I finally had to get the restraining order. It really got to me I was like why do I have to change my life - im not the one with the problem, but when it starts affecting your quality of life you have to take drastic steps.