Falling in love with a married woman

[Luke Skywalker]

whoa - be prepared to be plummeled!!!

 

i don't think women have been referred to as property for a very long time!!!!! thank goodness.

 

It works both ways. The husband is the property of the wife too.

 

Since we are talking about a male falling for a married female, it took that slant. If it were a female falling for a married male, exactly same slant - a woman has to respect another woman's property.

[Dako]

Luke,

 

My mistake.

I just don't feel woman are chattel.

 

Out.

[auburnslp]

I think this has veered off into an issue of semantics-maybe Luke could have used different words and thus would not have caused this distraction to the gist of the thread, but I for one understood the meaning behind the words...and I happen to agree. A wife is another man's sacred, committed, significant other. And that wife should be left alone. Like I said-I am guilty of not respecting that sacred union, despite the amazing connection-physical and spiritual, it was still completely wrong, and if I could take it all back, I would.

[Fritz The Cat]

Maybe Luke was a pimp in his previous life and thus is confused in this one. I've never looked at women as possessions. You can't own a woman any more than you own a cat. And like a cat, women will stick around as long as you feed them.

[Fritz The Cat]

Exactly what does "spiritual sense", "spiritual part", and "spiritual feeling" mean? Seems that's been thrown quite loosely but I'm not quite sure what you mean by these terms.

 

By spiritual, I mean I saw her as something more than a piece of meat.

[ghost69]

wait, you fell in love with this women after one meeting?

[Fritz The Cat]

Nope, I saw the potential after one meeting. It went beyond mere physical attraction. Kinda hard to describe what it was, really. But it was there.

[amtjrtcet]

There was a time when it was easy and natural for me to take the moral high road. Now it's not so easy and doesn't seem to be natural at all. There are plenty of women out there who have no morals. Married and otherwise. What do I have to gain by clinging to mine? Especially in light of the pain and suffering they have caused me.

 

What about self respect and a clear conscious? What about being able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are? Those are the things that 'taking the moral high road' benefit me anyways.

[Luke Skywalker]

Fritz_the_cat,

 

I do not believe in 'past lives', I believe this is the only life and it's judgement afterwards. How dare you say I was a pimp in a past life.

 

But, what am I to say, if you are lost, then you are bound to do lost things, a sick person needs a doctor, not to be judged. You need help.

 

You need a spiritual connection with God not a demon (i.e. who is obviously behind your attraction to this forbidden woman).

[ghost69]

you moral should read this: *live your own life but don't suck others into your dark hole if this is the path you choose*

 

i think you owe your SO that.

[Fritz The Cat]

Luke, you're a funny guy.

[Chibby33]

Fellas, I think Fritz is getting too defensive at this point so I suggest that we let go of this issue. Obviously we'll only be going back and forth and it's gotten to be immature with the name-calling. Fritz, may I say that calling someone who's only here to help a "pimp" is totally uncalled for. And what should we call you then? Think about it. You asked for our advice, didn't you?

 

Delete this thread that you started if you'll only take it the same way a kid who sleeps with a married woman will. Enjoy your time with her, be "spiritual", and happy if at all possible.

[Fritz The Cat]

Getting defensive? Who Me? You're joking right?

[auburnslp]

Beyond any of the name calling...Fritz you came on here for advice. You have gotten that advice. And it has all been consistent. Stay away. But yet you seem to want to argue that point. And there is no argument. I don't know if you came on here hoping for someone to actually validate your feelings in this matter of falling for a married woman...but chances are that will never happen, unless you find yourself out with a bunch of dogs that don't care, that will do anything for the lay.

 

Bottom line is it is wrong, any possible way you look at it. And you have so confidently told everyone how many girls you are juggling...great-keep juggling, having fun, and leave the married girl alone. This advice may well keep you from getting shot one day....

[ghost69]

auburn is right. do you want to be one of those guys on the news or on dr phil? well, if you get shot, i guess you won't. but you get the idea right?

 

if you are with someone and you are unhappy, let them go and find someone they can love. also, don't help bust up other relationships. i don't care how much the girl wants you and wants to cheat with you. let her do it with someone else.

[Chibby33]

Ok, let me be honest. I had a short, non-sexual fling with someone a long time ago while I was still married. Prepare yourself to what I will tell you - we do it because we're bored for a few seconds. Same reason why we take up a new hobby or watch reality tv but never finish it. We don't finish or pursue because we don't care. This guy, just like you, got too serious, threw in the whole "spiritual" speech which was why I asked you for your definition because it sounded soooo familiar. Anyway I never even pondered who I would rather be with, hands down, definitely my husband! There's no investment in an out-of-marriage fling, easier to dump, and heck it was all wrong! You think it's spiritual, she thinks you're only to amuse her. Sooner or later, you will hear the "go away" speech - guaranteed. But hey it's your call. Seems you've made up your mind anyway, so good luck!

[surfNski]

Man, I have to say that I fell in love with a married woman. At the time she said she loved me as well and was going to get a divorce.

 

Things moved quickly and once we both "knew" she told her husband and filed for divorce. A month later we where living together, 2 years later we where married. We where together 5 years before I divorced her, and not once did she cheat on me. In fact there is not a person in this world I trust more than her.

 

So, hey in my mind if you know, you know.

 

I am not suggesting anybody go chasing after married women, all I am saying is that sometimes starts do align.

[annie24]

i guess the "good sign" in your example was that she divorced her husband pretty quickly. it happens, people get married to the wrong person, and her willingness to get out of that relationship definitely sounded good for you. even if the relationship didn't work out ultimately.

 

i know some people who have dated married people, and there is always some 'reason' why they can't leave their spouse.... too close to the holidays, her mom just died, too close to valentine's day, too close to summer vacation, too close to her birthday, too close to the holidays, etc..........

[surfNski]

I agree, more often than not getting involved with a married person is a recipe for disaster. However it does work sometimes and I wanted to at least give a different perspective.

 

In my case my ex showed me what kind of woman she was by how she dealt with her husband at the time.

She was upfront and honest with him and her behaviors and actions really defined who she was as a person.

 

My 2 cents

[auburnslp]

so, uh, sorry, but I am curious and have to ask-why did the marriage fail? Sounds like you two were very much in love, married 5 years, and so what happened?

[surfNski]

There where a lot of reasons and unfortunately most of them had to do with me. In short, I was young and still had allot of growing up to do.

 

It was one of those things where if you love someone and you want the best for them, you do the right thing. And for me the right thing was to let her go.

[auburnslp]

wow. Well you sound like a good man-also sounds like you still love her...you know, it's not so unusual for divorced couples to end up back together...

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

If my wife came to me and told me she fell in love with another man and she wanted a divorce, the first thing I would do is ask if she was serious. if she was, I would be out of her life within the hour. Knowing me, I'd give her my All and I couldn't even consider doing the same thing, no matter the attraction to the other woman. It's just not in my character to consider such betrayal. She and I are 1, or are supposed to be, but if she wanted to leave me for another, I would be out of the door so fast, she'll have to finish her sentence talkig to a puff of smoke that is my representative image prior to bolting out the door. I have no time to cry an beg like a 70's Motown band, I'd move on and try my best to ignore the pain, which I know I wouldn't be able to do.

 

Tell you what though. If I find out the guy is a uber hunk, this board will light up with my threads of anger, resentment, pain, ect.