How do YOU do it?

[CynicalGuitarist]

Haven't been on here in a while. Had to deal with another case of unrequited love... another case that proved that pretty much all the good women are taken. I wish I could be completely asexual and ignorant to romantic love. For some odd reason, despite all the existential depression and times I've been screwed over... I still feel the lonliness and disconnect that comes with being single for almost 20 years. No matter how many times I masturbate a day... the desire is still there. I try to distract myself by working too hard and the like... doesn't work. Makes it worse.

 

So... I wanna know, if you're single, asexual, and/or w/o said desire... how do you do it? How do you deal with it all? Maybe I need a few new ideas...

[renaissancewoman101]

I'm single, but I'm also actively looking for a new SO, although I slowed down a bit on the "looking" since I haven't found anything of interest lately.

 

Sometimes, singleness really sucks, especially around the holidays.

 

Other times, I'm glad to be alone.

 

It all depends.

[Suesser Tod]

Masturbation and having sex with someone else are entirely different things, it's not just about getting off, it's entirely different and I think that while masturbation is a relief, sex is way more satisfying than the release you can get from masturbation.

 

No, despite what many people think, masturbation does not replace sex.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Masturbation and having sex with someone else are entirely different things, it's not just about getting off, it's entirely different and I think that while masturbation is a relief, sex is way more satisfying than the release you can get from masturbation.

 

No, despite what many people think, masturbation does not replace sex.

 

doesn't replace my desires... but can take the desire outta the occasion for a lil' while.

[Suesser Tod]

I'm single, but I'm also actively looking for a new SO, although I slowed down a bit on the "looking" since I haven't found anything of interest lately.

 

Sometimes, singleness really sucks, especially around the holidays.

 

Other times, I'm glad to be alone.

 

It all depends.

 

I wish I could think like you. I've heard a lot of this "sometimes you'll be glad that you're not in a relationship", but I haven't been in a situation like that. In fact I tend to think that it is nothing more than an excuse people try to believe to feel better about the fact that they are alone.

 

Maybe I think like that because I've been in LTR's for the last 6 and a half years and I still have to get used not to be in a relationship. Hope that it is true, because thanks to my lack of social skills and my working environment, I don't think I'll be meeting someone in the near future.

[CynicalGuitarist]

I wish I could think like you. I've heard a lot of this "sometimes you'll be glad that you're not in a relationship", but I haven't been in a situation like that. In fact I tend to think that it is nothing more than an excuse people try to believe to feel better about the fact that they are alone.

 

Agreed. It's a usual cop out... just like another one I use... "It gives me more opportunities to smoke weed". It seems like any distraction from this problem that I try... just falls flat in the end.

[soul_soother]

To me dating has always been something "rocky". You have a chance of meeting someone great and everything is okay but, of course this means put in work, being tied down, and never really being free for certain things. Having someone also means "security" (not all cases) and a general feeling of not being lonely, and always having someone to talk to / listen to or do something with, for the most part.

 

Being single on the other hand you can do whatever you want. Never have to listen to someone tell you can't do something or they "don't like it when you _____(enter word)". You can hang out with whoever you want, spend the night with anyone and not have to be bugged about it.

 

To me when I'm single I act like it, make it obvious that I'm single and play the field. If you don't you never really know whats out there to be offered up.

 

A buddy of mine, was 19 and a virgin on all bases. It killed him because, the group we hung out with everyone had lost it back in high school especially me because I did when I was 14. And he was so hyped up about losing his virginity it became a bigger deal then it really was. It's all he worried about to the point girls didn't want to hang with him because he was an emotional wreck about losing it. Shortly after he finally gave it up, he meet a girl and they both lost them together..worked out?

 

I spazzed out to find a good SO to the point where if I meet a girl, if she didn't have the qualities of a good SO I wouldn't talk to them. And eventually the moment I told myself "ya okay, I need to calm down w/e happens happens"..and shortly after I found the women of my dreams..

 

Sorry for the rant hope it helps?

[CrazyKing]

Haven't been on here in a while. Had to deal with another case of unrequited love... another case that proved that pretty much all the good women are taken. I wish I could be completely asexual and ignorant to romantic love. For some odd reason, despite all the existential depression and times I've been screwed over... I still feel the lonliness and disconnect that comes with being single for almost 20 years. No matter how many times I masturbate a day... the desire is still there. I try to distract myself by working too hard and the like... doesn't work. Makes it worse.

 

So... I wanna know, if you're single, asexual, and/or w/o said desire... how do you do it? How do you deal with it all? Maybe I need a few new ideas...

 

I know this type of feeling very good, I even can say that I know 100% exactly how you feel, because I did the same...

 

Thinking that you need another person to become lucky in your life is THE reason why you're and a billion or more people are still alone... Almost all people make exactly this mistake...

 

Be happy for what you have, who needs a person who doesn't like his own life???

 

You'll be doing better in no time if you understood it right!!!

[ilovepoemsalot]

I think you've just got to get so sick of feeling down about it, and believe that you'll never or most likely will never find someone so you can accept it, put it behind you, and move on and start enjoying what you do have in life.

[ilovepoemsalot]

Please do not depend your happiness on being with another person.

 

Not sure if I agree with you there Chibby. I mean isn't it natural to feel unhappy if you've remained single for years and years? I've even made a topic about this.

[ilovepoemsalot]

Absolutely not! It's natural to be lonely but please, never be "unhappy" being single. That's totally a sad way to look at life. My mom remained single for after my dad passed and yes she is completely happy. And that's what she taught me.

 

Guess each person has his own level or definition of happiness. That's what makes us all different.

 

So you wouldn't feel unhappy if you'd have never been with anyone and you knew it'd probably be like this for the rest of your life?

 

Well, I guess some people can cope with it and others can't.

 

To be honest I think feeling unhappy in life because of being in this situation is just as normal and natural as feeling unhappy if say, you were isolated from all human contact and you're completely on your own, and yes, that also means we rely on other people for our happiness.

[Chibby33]

Sorry folks, had to delete "my" replies because I stepped away from my pc this morning and my best friend kinda stepped in and used my username to send replies. But be assured that she is indeed single and very happy, while I'm single and wish I could be happier.

[ghost69]

i work out. i get in a zone and i forget being single. then i see a hot in shape girl walk by. lol, i say hi if i feel it though. then i feel better. oh, i do this everywhere too.