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I think of the future way to much HELP!


MissJBug
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Me and my boyfriend are wonderful, its been 2 years and I cant be happier. I have a huge problem though, I fight with him way to much over things. He is a wonderful guy, but I just keep letting the future get to me. He wants to get married later on in life. And so do I, but i just keep thinking "what if were not together, what if he gets bored with me, what if he finds someone else"... i tell him those things and hes like "I will never ever leave you, im to happy with you."

 

Ive cried so much and sometimes when i think hes looking at a girl for a split second i yell at him... I know everyone looks, and I dont even think he looks but sometimes I do and I just flip out like SO YOU WANNA BE WITH HER...and hes like "calm down your so paranoid i never want to be with anyone else" ... Im so afraid of him leaving... A year ago he hurt me pretty bad emotionally and realized what he lost and came back. And ever since we have been better. I just dont want to loose him. I look on TV at these beautiful girls and than Im like "HES PROABLY WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW" and let alone... hes at WORK!... He says Im way to insecure and that im very beautiful and he doesnt know why Im jealous because i have everything they have, but im better!

 

Why dont I feel this way... I have a lot of family problems and what not. But i have a great guy. And even though he says he doesnt care if i get bitchy he still loves me. Sometime i MIGHT loose him if i keep doing this... Does anyone know what my problem is? And should i just STOP. Should i be worried about the future?

 

Please help me... its killing me more than you think!

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Hi there, MissJBug!

 

Let me start by saying I know exactly how you feel. It's very difficult to love someone to the point of jealousy like this, but it happens, and is nothing to be ashamed of. But I must stress caution on you! No matter how much your boyfriend might love you, constant "paranoia" could drive him away. I know more than one person who, sill deeply in love, broke up with their girl/boyfriends over something like this.

As anyone will tell you, and I'm sure you know yourself, trust is a big part of any relationship. If he loves you as much as it sounds from your post, then you should be able to trust him enough to not worry about him lusting after other women.

I have to tell you- guys look at girls. A lot of the time it's quite subconscious. We're all guilty of it, and it takes incredibly self-descipline to keep your eyes from roaming even the tiniest bit. But also remember that 999 times out of 1000, your guy will never even think about some girl he looked at ever again.

 

I hope I've been of some help here!

 

-Eidan

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  • 2 weeks later...

you have been wonderful help to me. and i thank you very very much for it, i know that my jealousy will ruin it, but its like ... why do they look. you have your girl right there. i honestly dont look. i could care less about any other man alive... i love the man im with. i know he looks, but i am so insecure that i think... i wish i looked like her... he would be happier with a prettier girl like that.... i am 18 years old... and to the honest truth... i look like im 15... He says he will like it when were older and i look younger... and thats true... but its just like... why cant i just be satisfyed with myself....

 

let me ask you and all the guys this one question...

 

if a girl shows shes insecure... does a guy say "ill try not to look because of my girls insecurity"

 

and/or what if i show that i think im so pretty and i dont care what others think ... would he deal with that better and think "wow she really holds herself well" than me always saying "god im so ugly?"

 

 

or do i just need attention... sometimes i think i make things up in my head thinking that i just need attention and make stuff up

 

(see im thinking to much again)

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