May be over.

[votregitan]

To make things short, my husband got mad at me for letting my bestfriend spend the night with out telling him. He got mad and said some not so nice things about her andshe heard it all. I honestly didn't think it would have been a big deal since I've known her since middle school.

 

Anyways, his reason for being upset is that he thought I was going to neglect the kids and my chores if she stayed all night and the next day. So now she removed me from her top friends list and put in her blog she's cutting people out of her life. To me this seems drastic, but maybe this is how our friendship ends. I thought there would always be ups and downs in life, but you over come it and move on. Well now it seems it was enough to end what was to me a great friendship. She keeps saying that she's tired of childish games, but I honestly don't know what she's talking about. What do you all think?

[Zackinlaw]

I think it's silly for your friend to cut you out because of what your HUSBAND said about her!!

 

"neglect your CHORES"????? Hmmmmmm

 

Zack.

[votregitan]

Yeah I totally think it was jelousy on his part. He is very remorseful but she will not forgive, then again she's never been good at forgiving.

[fnlyfrei]

I am with Zack...y'know girl, you better get your CHORES done or you will be punished....better yet, hand him a broom...sheesh,. I think I am siding with your girlfriend. He sounds like a big hairy jerk.

[votregitan]

I am with Zack...y'know girl, you better get your CHORES done or you will be punished....better yet, hand him a broom...sheesh,. I think I am siding with your girlfriend. He sounds like a big hairy jerk.

 

He can be a jerk sometimes but I don't think she should throw away years of a friendship for something being said the wrong way.

[Zackinlaw]

He can be a jerk sometimes but I don't think she should throw away years of a friendship for something being said the wrong way.

 

So maybe they are BOTH jerks sometimes.

[fnlyfrei]

He can be a jerk sometimes but I don't think she should throw away years of a friendship for something being said the wrong way.

 

I guess he is the one then that should apologize to HER...has he??.... And as far as him worrying that you would neglect the kids and your chores because she spent the night...how old are you? 12? He sounds a bit controlling...and I guess if she feels that he interferes with your being able to be her friend, insulted her...why should SHE try to remain friends with you? Friendship like any other relationship, is a two-way street. Maybe she just feels that she is in a no-win situation because of course you are going to choose him over her and take his side. If you want to keep her as your friend, I say you need to let her know that..make an extra effort..and ask that your guy apologizes bigtime !

[votregitan]

I am with Zack...y'know girl, you better get your CHORES done or you will be punished....better yet, hand him a broom...sheesh,. I think I am siding with your girlfriend. He sounds like a big hairy jerk.

 

I guess he is the one then that should apologize to HER...has he??.... And as far as him worrying that you would neglect the kids and your chores because she spent the night...how old are you? 12? He sounds a bit controlling...and I guess if she feels that he interferes with your being able to be her friend, insulted her...why should SHE try to remain friends with you? Friendship like any other relationship, is a two-way street. Maybe she just feels that she is in a no-win situation because of course you are going to choose him over her and take his side. If you want to keep her as your friend, I say you need to let her know that..make an extra effort..and ask that your guy apologizes bigtime !

 

I have put effort sent emails, phone calls, text messages but nothing from her end. He does want to also apologize to her but like I said she holds grudges. This shouldn't even be about taking sides. I don't take his side but I can't leave him and break up my family for an outing like this. Like I said I thought life throws you curve balls and you do your best to get through it. I guess this is just the out come of mine. I haven't gotten any responses except for in-direct blogs. What can I do?

[Zackinlaw]

What can I do?

 

Nothing more than you already have.

[fnlyfrei]

I have put effort sent emails, phone calls, text messages but nothing from her end. He does want to also apologize to her but like I said she holds grudges. This shouldn't even be about taking sides. I don't take his side but I can't leave him and break up my family for an outing like this. Like I said I thought life throws you curve balls and you do your best to get through it. I guess this is just the out come of mine. I haven't gotten any responses except for in-direct blogs. What can I do?

 

Of course you shouldn't break up your family because of THIS...and I guess you have done all you can. I suppose it's best to let it go. I just saw some little red flags in your post when you casually mentioned that he felt your friendship was interfering with your wifely duties. And now your friend is out the door so to speak. I hope that you have other girlfriends and that you are not isolated. If he does this AGAIN with any other friend you have..I would have a serious talk with him. Sorry about your girlfriend.

[votregitan]

He is controlling, I'll admit that. After that night I told him about it and he agreed that he'd change. He has been alot different since but that will not bring back my friend. I guess you and Zach are right there's not much more I can do. I don't have any other girlfriends but I do have my sisters and there's never been any conflict with them. My friend did do quite a bit of drinking at that time and I think he thought I'd follow. Any how thanks for the advice. I very much appreciate it.

[fnlyfrei]

If you note my screen-name "Finally free"...I USED to be in that type of marriage...it seemed to get worse as time went on, and as I became less tolerant of his controlling behaviorthings got really bad. I divorced him . I lived on my own and just got married a few months ago..and I will never tolerate that again. Perhaps I am too evolved. I used to think it showed my husband loved me. Now I realize that it was because he was insecure and was afraid of losing me. I know now that I am just fine on my own...and am the captain of my own ship..(my life) and I am so much happier. I hope you two can work on this so your family stays together...hey, you live in CO too...want to have a girls night out? I hear you have room for another friend ! (just kidding !)

Take care !

[OOHMY]

Does he not like her because hes attracted to her and thats his way of making sure that you don't think that? Just coming from another perspective.

 

Shes not a true friend if she can't deal with some issues. Its not very nice of your husband to say things like that to anyone, but just be careful.

[hk87]

I'm totally with everyone. I can believe your husband makes you do chores or not have fun incase something doesn't get done for once. Why doesn't he do the work and look after the kids??

It was extremely insensitive and rude of him to say things about her, and well out of line.

 

Has there been any other outbursts from him like this? HAs your friend been offended by him previously?

 

Hk87

[jimthzz]

what is it that your husband thought you would neglect? You live on a farm and need to milk cows or what?

 

What were you going to do with your friend?

[RelaxByWater84]

Maybe she is worried about ruining your relationship with your husband. I've known of some people to do that. I don't its just a thought I had.

[Postive-Aura]

Let her go if she holds grudges then she dosent deserve friends , we all have our ups and downs and have to deal with them . She is not going to have to many friends if she acts like this all the time. You are better of without her friendship and crap.