Just deal with it

[sunshine13]

Any suggestions on how to just deal with seeing someone all of the time after you end things?

I joined my gym over a year ago when my ex of 4.5 years left me.

I used it as a tool to look better, feel better, etc.

This gym is not cheap either!

I made the HUGE mistake of dating someone who works there 2 days a week.

We only dated for a short time but I still have an enormous amount of feelings for him and he went back to his ex girlfriend.

I tried to keep my head held high and go in there but I find myself looking around for him, wondering where he is when he calls off. . . .

We are no longer friends AT ALL so that makes it even harder.

I also took over a week off from the gym in hopes that I could just "deal with it" once I went back.

I still feel very uncomfortable and now I can't even use the gym as an outlet to make myself move on and feel better!

[Up and Down]

Its going to take time, running into an ex right after a break-up is typically not a plesant experience, especially when it was one sided. Can you join another gym or switch to a different location. FWIW thats why I don't want to date someone from my gym, whether this is pessimistic or not, but if it ends then I will be stuck seeing them all the time. Alternatively you could go to the gym when you know he's not there, if he works in the afternoon, you could go in the mornings.

 

Sorry you are going through a rough time. Hopefully you stick around here, its a good forum, with good people and adivce, its like free therapy.

[niczeegs]

Try joining a team or an organization. That will help you meet new people and maybe start up some new relationships.

[Jess...]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It must be hard. Is there another gym you could go to? Or maybe work out from home? If not, maybe you could just go on the days he doesn't work? Hope you're doing ok

 

*EDIT* Ok, I just pretty much said what up and down said, but there were no replies when I went to post! lol

[Up and Down]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It must be hard. Is there another gym you could go to? Or maybe work out from home? If not, maybe you could just go on the days he doesn't work? Hope you're doing ok

 

*EDIT* Ok, I just pretty much said waht up and down said, but there were no replies when I went to post! lol

 

Just think of it as "great minds think alike"

[annie24]

Yup, is there another gym you can go to? Or, maybe go in at hours he isn't there. I think you wouldn't mind about this guy if you had a new boyfriend. sorry to hear about this. yup, ex boyfriends have driven me out of gyms too.

[sunshine13]

My contract is up December 17th on this current membership which for the year has cost me over $500. That is why I don't really want to join a new gym until my contract expires.

This current gym that I go to is right down the street from my house.

However, there is another gym about 20 minutes away from me that I could join.

I guess the problem is that I have been going to this same gym 5 days a week for over a year. I am comfortable there and really can't afford the cost of joining a new gym right this second.

I don't have the resources to work out at home and it is beginning to get cold so running outside is not an option either.

Working out has become such a large part of my life that I feel horrible not going.

And as far as going there at times when he is not working. . . that is hard too b/c he works all night on the days he is there.

Plus, he actually works out there on the other days when he isn't working.

I am the one who ended the relationship but things got really messy at the end.

He is already aware that I have been avoiding him all week b/c other people have mentioned it to me.

What I really want to do is keep my head held high. . . walk in there like nothing ever happened and not worry about it.

It this going to be possible?

I feel like the more he thinks I am avoiding him at the gym makes me look like a fool b/c I have been going there since before he was ever hired.

[annie24]

what about going to the gym at 5 AM or really late at night, at a time he isn't there? or just go and bring your iPod and don't even look at him, focus on your workout.

[Jess...]

Just think of it as "great minds think alike"

 

haha that's true!

[sara1]

Well on the up side if you stay at your gym even until your contract expires and you're going 5 days a week, you can hold your head high and strut in the gym while pretending he doesn't exist. I think he may be better to think that maybe he's looking for you (you're working out while maybe he's just standing around) and not look for him or see where he is at in the gym. This will only cause you agony.