HarleyHunny Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 It's been a week since I received that cowardly email from him......I've cried over it, I wanted to drink over it, I got really pissed off over it...Then I turned my attention back to me. I signed up for a Yoga class, I've been to the gym 4 times this past week. I pulled out my guitar, which was coverd in about 3 yrs of dust.....I started cleaning the house out. I'm getting ready to move and figured I best get started packeing....He and I had been together so long, I couldnt' decide what was his and what was mine. So, I went thru the laundry over the weekend, washed up his stuff, packed up "his drawer" razor, toothbrush (after I used it to clean the toilet - not really but I thought about it - LOL), sorted CD's, DVD's & books and put them in a box in the closet.... I got up to an email this morning (he's on night shift this week) , "I'll leave the door unlocked if you want to come out and get your stuff today, we need to talk, if you're ready to talk to me." My first thought was "wow! I was thinking I need to get my junk so it can be packed too & I can stop thinking about my things at his house"....... When I got there he was just getting up, and it was awkward for both of us, for a moment. He kissed me on the forehead, took me by the hand, and led me out the swing in his yard he put up just for me a few years ago. We both cried. We got a lot of things out in the open that was long overdue. I really realized he was right. It is time for us to really end. He told me he loved me as much as he could, if he could control his heart he would have fallen in love with me years ago. He told me how strong I am, and how proud he is of me for having the courage to change what I can. He told me he sent the email because he was afraid, afraid of me crying, afraid he couldn't go thru with it if he did it f2f (we've done that a few times over the years and ended up not breaking up)... And then he pulled a silver medallioin from his pocket. On the front it had a heart and a butterfly with the nickname he called me running thru them, the back is the serenity prayer, he put it in my hand and said, "never give up and please never go back".......I cried all the way home, and I know it will take some time, but he did the right thing. He told me, he should have let me go when I wanted to end things a short time back, but he couldn't. He wasn't ready......What a man! .... While I sit here and type this, the tears stream down my face and I'm asking God, when the time is right and You send the man I'm to spend my life with, please, please, let him have a big heart, be kind and gentle, and have as much integrity as this man has.......without him, I would have never made it to AA....God really does put people in our lives for a reason, a season and I pray one day a lifetime...... Link to comment
Nixee Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 If only all breakups happened with this much honesty and wisdom. Though it was kinda cowardly for him to send an email, I'm glad he did talk to you. That story made my own eyes start to water. Take care of yourself... you WILL find someone for a lifetime eventually. Link to comment
HealingHandsWarmHeart Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Harley ..i don't have much to add..but i'm sending you a cyber hug - with your attitude .. I'm sure everything will work out.. keep on focusing on you ... and keep moving forward. (i hope when you packed his cd's ... you did the one for you, two for me, one for you, two for me...lol) Link to comment
dan39 Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Aw thats sad, I'm sure it will work out for the best in the end and you'll both be much happier. Link to comment
HarleyHunny Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 (i hope when you packed his cd's ... you did the one for you, two for me, one for you, two for me...lol)Woo hoo! LOL.... I thought about that one too, but didn't... I did however accidentally (on purpose) keep his favorite Harley T-Shirt! Thanks all for the kind words, and the hugs...... It's amazing how typing this out has made me feel better......I used to journal a lot, but typing is soooo much easier. Maybe I need to get myself a blog or on My space....???? Link to comment
Mun Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 He's a man with integrity, but you're the real winner in my book, going through AA and all. I am sure things will only get better for you in the future. Thanks for this post it kind of gave me a warm feeling...go figure . best wishes! Link to comment
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