Great girl, bad date.

[wester]

I recently posted about my attraction for a married female co-worker. Read all about it:

 

 

 

To get my mind off her, someone I know set me up with this girl he works with. Under any other circumstances, I would have been thrilled to be out with a girl like this. She was funny, sweet, the whole thing, but my mind just kept drifting back to my co-worker. It got to the point where I asked myself, "Why I am out with this girl? She's not who I want." It was all feeling, no reasoning involved. It just still hasn't clicked that this co-worker of mine is unavailable. It scares me that, aside from invading my thoughts all day, now i can't even enjoy another's woman's company without thinking about her.

 

What makes it worse is that other friends of mine seem to think I should "go for it" with my co-worker. this just gives me false hope and drives me even crazier than I already am.

 

Someone bring me down to earth.

[nuttybuddy]

I bet the attention you've given to this co-worker of yours is making her feel like she loves her job.

 

It's not gonna do ANYONE ANY good if you "go for her." Don't listen to your bad friends' advice. They obviously don't care that much and would rather hear about the drama.

 

Look, you're a grown man. Act like one. She may be attractive, but it's probably because she's forbidden fruit. Stop lusting after her. She's a happily married woman. Please don't muck up people's lives with your immoral desire to quench your thirst.

 

Maybe you should try to find a different job if it's too difficult. Or work hard at your job to get promoted and be soooo high up in rank at your company that you won't even have time to see her.

[wester]

I bet the attention you've given to this co-worker of yours is making her feel like she loves her job.

 

It's not gonna do ANYONE ANY good if you "go for her." Don't listen to your bad friends' advice. They obviously don't care that much and would rather hear about the drama.

 

Look, you're a grown man. Act like one. She may be attractive, but it's probably because she's forbidden fruit. Stop lusting after her. She's a happily married woman. Please don't muck up people's lives with your immoral desire to quench your thirst.

 

Maybe you should try to find a different job if it's too difficult. Or work hard at your job to get promoted and be soooo high up in rank at your company that you won't even have time to see her.

 

Actually, I give her no attention at work except as to work-related matters. The "flirting" that has occurred has happened mostly after work. If you can call it flirting.

 

I am trying to be a man about this and not mess with her happiness. But if it was just "lust" there would be no problem. Read a little of my prior thread and you'll see what i mean. It's not about wanting to get her into bed. I really like this girl. She makes me happier than I've ever been. that's why its hard to move on.

 

I have a conscience, but that little devil on my one shoulder won't shut up. Neither will my friends. After talking to them this weekend I have all these stupid thoughts about pursuing this girl. One friend even agreed to help me hatch some plan to win her over. Yes, my friends are evil men.

 

That's why I'm here. i need the sensible people on this site to set me straight. I'm getting so messed up over this that, when one friend told me it wouldn't work out, I started thinking that maybe he just didn't want to see me win this girl over because that would highlight the times where he missed a woman's signals and failed to ask her out.

 

all I want is to get this girl out of my head so i can go on with my life.

[nuttybuddy]

Yeah, tell that devil on your shoulder to SHUT UP and tell your friends the same thing. Your friends are not helping.

 

I read a little bit of what you wrote on the other thread and it sounds like she is flirting with you... in a wanna-be innocent sort of way. But she knows she shouldn't be doing things like sitting on your lap or even giving you a friendly bump. She's TROUBLE. Maybe she has marital problems since her husband works such long hours, but she shouldn't be cheating on him!

 

Look, you sound like a sensible guy. She's walking down the road to becoming a cheater! You think she's soooo wonderful but how truly wonderful is a cheater?!?!

 

That woman's got ISSUES. I think it's best that you leave her alone with her skeletons in the closet.