so many questions

[hazeleyed]

BAH! I feel kind of lonely tonight...I miss having those negative people around me. I know it sounds funny but atleast I was always surrounded by people in that way. Now it just feels like no one cares if I exist or not...no one cares about me...maybe its just the fact i dont care about myself? I dont respect myself or care about my needs and wants? I am so used to feeling used and abused...and having drama in my life that when I don't it feels like something is missing.

 

I see other people who are solid in themselves and they seem so happy...like you can tell they are strong and independent people...the glow on their face, the spark in their eyes tells it all..it makes me feel so good to be around someone like that , however, how do I start making friends like that? How do I start with being friends with myself? How do I stop trying to go backward everytime something wrong happens...so many questions about how to stop ...how to not look back....sometimes I just dont know what to do which leaves me even more stressed out and upset.