Royale Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 This anxiety is making me feel bad lately. My whole life I've been like this to an extent; I never went through a stage where I believed I couldn't die. Heh, once when I was like 8 I watched a video on airbourne pathogens and refused to breathe through my mouth the rest of the day. I rarely go through a lengthy car ride without considering it crashing, gone down a flight a stairs without consider falling, or been in a place long enough and not think of all the ways a person can come in and hurt/kill me. Forget being in a middle of a bad storm; those are the only times a person can notice my anxiety for what is it. Unfortunately the list goes on, from health, to elevators, to eletricity etc. Then when it's not on myself it's focused on my loved ones. There was a time where I was really worried if I slept through when my mom left and I couldn't pray over her leaving car for a safe return. I stay worried over my grandmothers, heck and the rest of my family. I mean, it's not that completely mind numbing normally. I can still have moments of peace, and a lot of these thoughts are more or less flippant. But there were times where it'd really hit me that I will most certainly die, by time or environment, and it makes me nearly sick with fear. Normally the fear passes fairly quickly, and afterwards I forget about it. But now it's been occurring more often in the past like month, and hasn't passed nonstop this whole day, so much so I'm now writing here of my crazy in hopes it'll lessen at all. My life issues right now seem so far away and insignificant because of my fear of death and the pain that comes with it. At times I wish I never was born only to postpone the inevitable. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 lol I have the same thing! everything I touch Im going to be electecuted or somthing! as long as you control it, its fine... weird thing is, im not scared of dying at all... just pain. Link to comment
Royale Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 lol I have the same thing! everything I touch Im going to be electecuted or somthing! as long as you control it, its fine... weird thing is, im not scared of dying at all... just pain. Hah Wow, well at least I know I'm not as alone as a thought I was. Yeah, pain is was gets me too. I've always hoped I'd have a quick death like an aneurism or being shot in the neck or something. I have hardcore pain-phobia (I know there must be a word that means that but I don't know it). Link to comment
zachiphus Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 when i am driving or hiking or something, i will always think to myself "be a little more careful, u dont want anything to happen to yourself." so in a sense, i do kinda think that way sometimes. but i am not all that worried about death. i realize that it is a natural cycle and that it is inevitable. i just try to live my life as well as possible and when death rolls around i will hopefully be able to look back and have no regrets. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I wasn't scared of death until the doctor told me I had a quarter-size mass in my breast three years ago. I lost a pound per day until surgery. It was benign, but I have to admit I AM afraid to die. I DO NOT want to. Too much to do here yet. Please, Jesus, I don't want to die yet. I am sending you information in PM. Link to comment
Royale Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Wow. This has really shaken me. Honestly, I'm frightened and down because if it. I pray for this to go away, because now things just seems so . . .final. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Royale, I hope the website will be useful. There are lots of people there who suffer just as much. Have you had any time to look at it yet? Link to comment
Royale Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Yeah, I've gone on the website and browsed around; my mind has been frazzled a bit (haven't slept since first post), but I looked at the forums and the symptoms. Some of them we're possibly misses (lured away from ever thinking I had it because of the stereotypical 'neatnes' they supposedly had) others were scarily on I mean I knew I had idiosyncracies but I normally just kept them to myself and filed them into 'All the Things that Make Me Odd' area and never gave them a second thought. Now I'm more curious to seek a professional. Thank you for your help I appreciate it. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I had the same ideas about neatness also. That is why no one had a clue what was wrong with my son. He's not neat at all. His OCD prevents him from being anything close to neat, and they said his OCD is the absolute worst they've ever seen. There is a movie called Dirty Filthy Love, which I enjoyed watching. It was a disappointment in one way because it showed a bus full of people who were receiving cognitive behavioral therapy. Every single person had sanitary wipes in their possession. I can't figure for the life of me why a man who has OCD would make a movie like that. Link to comment
Brooke657 Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think I had the exact opposite problem until I was in a car accident last Summer and I almost didn't make it. I just always assumed yeah that stuff happens to other people and I would do the stupidest things not ever thinking what I was doing could kill me. I mean I was so young, young people don't die. When my best friend died I kind of realized death isn't something you can control but it's something you shouldn't tempt. Even after the whole accident though I don't think I fear death as much as I should. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 I dont fear death at all... I fear pain, but I still take a lot of risks with my life, I have had more than my fiar share of near-death experiences... after someone tried to kill me (lol) the doctor was amazed I was alive, let alone still moving from the neck down. I just really have no fear of death, the only reason I am even slightly carefull with myself is my fear of pain and what my death would do to my family. Link to comment
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