heynowwww Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I am just curious as to what you think it says about someone who has suicidal thoughts after breaking up. The reason as I am curious is that my first serious ltr ended a yr ago and we both havent moved on yet but she is dating someone else and has been. for some reason she always comes back into contact with me. then we are fine for a while and then she is distant and I end up depressed again. I know it is my own problem that I allow this but I recently decided I will never speak to her again, as she cheated on me and now has cheated on this new guy so how could I trust her. but anyways lately I have been thinking about suicide. I would never actually kill myself but these thoughts creep into my mind as I am alone a lot. I just wonder is it because I am emotionally weak or just been on an emotional rollercoaster for far too long? I feel bad that I let her do this to me and did not stand up for myself and I know I should have. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Hello heynowwww ..... I know what you mean. About suicide, depression, the whole thing. Seems we can attach a lot of importance or deep emotion to a person or a relationship. You're not weird or abnormal for feeling this way. I think you made a good decision to cut off all contact. Like the therapist guy who was the guest speaker here said, not necessarily No Contact, but Healing Space. Put some distance and space between you and her so you can begin to heal and feel whole again with or without someone. If only we could all some how realise how good it feels to put the same kind of emotional importance and energy into ourselves that we do in our relationships or our exes, we would be SOOO much better off. Your relationship with your ex is toxic. Staying away from her is a good idea. I know you feel you really WON'T kill yourself, and feeling depressed after such an emotional ride is normal, but keep an eye on your feelings and depression. OK? If it gets much worse, OR doesn't get any better, maybe you should talk to a professional?? Link to comment
jettison Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I agree with Hepburn. You're normal AND seek some professional help. It can only help and won't hurt. I think that particularly sensitive people tend to REALLY give their love in a relationship, and when you give so much of yourself, it's almost impossible to avoid giving up a part of your identity right along with it so that your new identity is wrapped up in this person. They become some kind of pseudo "family" even if you're not married and only dating. That said, once the breakup comes, you lose your new identity and you're left questioning "Who the hell am I again?" It takes some time to figure that out once more . Plus, if the person you were in love with does not give this much of themselves in a relationship, and stays guarded, they will move on much easier, and you're left thinking "Did you even care at all?" It's rough. Link to comment
CelesteSeven Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 you aren't alone! i have the very same feelings right now... about feeling all alone and suicide. i can't really offer you much advice, but i can let you know that you really aren't alone and I'm going through something similar. we'll both just have to hang in there and stick it out. Link to comment
heynowwww Posted June 17, 2007 Author Share Posted June 17, 2007 thank you all so much for your kind words and your support. I have been thinking a lot and I think I am also in a weird spot in life. I am a year out of college and it is not as easy to meet new girls, also many of my good friends have moved away, I just need to get farther out of the situation with my ex and enjoy life again on my own as I had before. I wish everyone here luck. I cant express how much of a tool everyone's input is into the healing process. For now everything is one day at a time. I have met with a counselor one time and will be throughout the summer. I just dont want this to effect me or put me into a serious rut. When I saw her I did not bring up suicidal thoughts as I was not having them, I think I will at the next visit. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Many people use suicide as a Plan B in case they can't deal with something. It's fine until you start actually implementing the act. Look at how many people would opt out if they were suffering in terrible pain with no hope of recovery. Emotional pain usually has an end and a recovery, especially if it's a result of grief or a breakup. Hang in there and stay with us. Link to comment
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