Avoidance

[CamaroJoe]

What do you say to someone of the opposite sex who seems like they are avoiding you (not answering the phone or returning calls) without sounding needy?

 

And is it better to send it via voicemail or text message?

[annie24]

I would stop contacting them altogether.

[Brooke657]

Don't stop contacting them, find out why they're avoiding you. I'd text message or im them.

[Unhumble]

Man, it really depends on the situation.

If you're not getting any answer since weeks and haven't seen her around for quite a while, you might as well call the police. Maybe something happened to her.

 

If not, maybe she's not in the mood to discuss whatever you're trying to address.

 

In any case, don't snub her just for that. Be a bit understanding, there might be millions of reasons she might not be answering.

 

If this goes on for too long, try asking her (preferably in person) and find out.

 

Meanwhile, be patient.

[CamaroJoe]

Thanks annie for the rapid response. I tried that already and it didn't work. lol And I hear from many women that perserverence is pretty important because giving up too early is not a good thing.

 

Now she does work two jobs and at the one, where we used to see each other, she moved to day shift. So we no longer see each other. And it's not like I don't see other women or anything like that. I'm not sitting here thinking of her 24/7. lol

 

With this new information, do you still think I shouldn't contact her?

[adahy]

I generally assume if someone is avoiding me a) they're playing games or b) they really are trying to avoid me.

 

If a) - after a failed attempt or 2 to contact them...I don't keep trying. It does come accross as needy. It's often a power/control game for some people, and I choose not to play.

 

If b) - it usually means I've done something wrong. If so, I will try to contact them to apologize or whatever a couple times. However, I don't keep doing it.

 

Ultimately, if people don't want to talk to you there's nothing you can do...no matter how many times (or in what ways) you try to contact them. I do prefer verbal communication, so things don't get misintrepreted.

[annie24]

Thanks annie for the rapid response. I tried that already and it didn't work. lol And I hear from many women that perserverence is pretty important because giving up too early is not a good thing.

 

Now she does work two jobs and at the one, where we used to see each other, she moved to day shift. So we no longer see each other. And it's not like I don't see other women or anything like that. I'm not sitting here thinking of her 24/7. lol

 

With this new information, do you still think I shouldn't contact her?

 

depends on the nature of your relationship and how you have known her. is she a friend, a woman you are trying to date? And how many times did you call her/contact her? Is it possible you did something that upset her? or is she really busy?

 

well, there is a difference between being persistent and "not getting the hint." I don't know where this falls without more info.

[flower99]

Personally If I'm avoiding someone its because I dont' want to talk to them & rather than saying that to them, I'm waiting for them to get the hint.

 

So if you've attempted to make contact (and she is aware of this ) and she is not responding, don't try again, when & if she is willing she will make contact with you.

[ghost69]

i'd say nothing. i get the impression what i'm already doing isn't working. NEXT