clarabel

You need to find out one way or another how she feels as you are obviously getting very mixed signals from her. If you feel you have spoken to her before & she went cold then is there a mutual friend who could talk to her for you - just generally - & find out if she wants friendship or more or is it that she just doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you either. If it is the latter then you must be given the chance to move on with your life & find happiness with someone else as you deserve to be happy. You may not like what you find out but you need to know one was or the other otherwise you are going to go mad & it could mess up your work relationship.

Hello there I am a bit confused myself at present so I don't know if this will help or not Alot of relationships start out as friends & she may feel the same & if you leave it too long you may loose her to someone else. If however you are in a predicament anything like mine & you don't know how she feels you won't want to ruin your friendship but you have known her a very long time & should know her by now. Maybe if you tell her how you feel when you are both drunk & she doesn't feel the same then she will just think you are messing about cos your pissed but if she does feel the same it could be the start of something big & you could end up happy together. Whatever you decide you definitely shouldn't be with L & the longer you are with her the more difficult it may become to end it - I know its not easy but you deserve to be with the right person lifes too short.

I am sorry if I seemed defensive but this is not easy in any way shape or form - to be having these feelings when I have never so much as kissed another woman before. I don't know what I expected to get back from this forum but I feel my subject title sums it up I am very confused & don't know what to do for the best. It is a case of whether I let my heart rule my head or the other way round. I suppose realistically I knew what the options were but thinking them & actually putting them into action are 2 completely different things. There may actually be a chance that if I did leave my partner anyway my son would be happy. My parents are no longer together & I came to terms with it & they are both remarried now to much more suited partners. I suppose I just have to continue as I have been doing & hope that I either learn to deal with my situation or not. Thanks anyway

Funnily enough it was that simple I don't think I would be asking advice from complete strangers. I would not cheat on my partner as his wife did that to him. I am not happy but do I stay with my partner because I don't want him to compare me to his previous wife. I am 31 yrs of age & am not stupid of course I know the grass isn't always greener why do you think I am still with my partner even though I have been feeling like this for nearly a year.

Hello there I am 31 & have been living with my partner & his daughter for 5 yrs & we have a 3yr old son & we are due to marry at some point. I have sometimes wondered if I was gay as I found myself looking at women but when I started working at the hotel where my partner works there is a particular woman who attracted me. I think about her all the time, enjoy her company, miss her when I don't see her & in the past have felt something between us but backed off as I was scared of how I was feeling. I am almost definite she is gay but she keeps her cards close to her chest & I know this is because she finds it hard to trust people due to something that happened in her past. Basically this is on my mind all the time, I even spoke to my partner about this a few months ago & he even guessed who it was but since then I have just tried to act normally around him as I can't even contemplate not been with him for the sake of our son as my parents are divorced & I never wanted that for him. My main issue is whether I should tell my friend at work how I feel I have gone through talking to her, sending a text/email message in my mind loads of times & nearly did it today but what if it ruins our friendship although I don't think she is the sort of person to do that. The other side of if I did tell her is if she feels the same, do I want to be with a woman & what about my son??? What should I do as I know this is affecting my feelings towards my partner & he will probably suspect something again soon. I just want to be happy & give the best I can to my son. Added 13/4/04 -If anyone else wishes to reply, especially if someone has gone thru a similar thing, please do I will keep checking.