LordWeymont

Dude... being dumped is the worst! We have all been there. It's good for you to admit your faults. The next step is to move on. Admitting your mistakes and then saying to yourself, "hey next time I won't do this and that." Kinda like a video game. You die in one area of the game and say to yourself: make sure I remember to avoid that menacing moment in the next time. You are hurting because you cared very much for the girl and that is natural. It is also natural for you focus on the bad and the good... keep doing that to an extent. I mean, you have to move on... right? You said she was an opportunity of a lifetime... well, this is when I say "there are a million fish in the sea." It's a cliche yet so very true. Here: think about it this way... by you realizing the mistakes you committed ... think about how different the next relationship will be because you know not what to do....... Just because she does not want to be with you...does not mean you suck as a person... just means she is not the one for you at that moment in time. Could it work one day? Who knows! The only way you will find out is looking forward to the good things in the near future... get back to your single-life routine... obviously you know how to meet girls, so get back into the game after you feel as if you can open up again for another round of this thing we call a relationship. Out. CW.

It really hurts to break up. For both sides, the breakup is usually tough and hard on emotions. As a firm believer in the no-contact rule, I could not help but to recommend it wholeheartedly. I have been through a rough breakup recently and know the feeling of wanting to reach out. Because when one thinks about it, we're not losing just a lover, but also a best friend we confide our feelings and thoughts. In almost bizarre reasoning state of mind, our relationship is a drug. When we lose that drug, we have to go cold turkey. Ask a drug addict how it feels to go cold turkey. Of course, I am simplifying a break up. As many would attest, jumping into a friendship after a break up is simply not possible in the short term. If even one person feels more for the other, the frienship cannot work in the beginning. I really believe this is a concrete rule of breaking up. There are those who disagree and I respect that, however; the rule exists for a reason. These so-called golden rules are put forth by those have 'been there and done that' for a reason. Gawd, wish it were simple. Out. CW

Thanks everyone. Words of advice help everytime! Really, thanks a lot!!! haha, I have no idea what that last comment means... but I think it's good! Ha. Out.

I am a firm believer in the no-contact rule. Recently, actually 3 weeks ago my gf of 6 months went from hot to cold on me. I got no signals or signs of her being unhappy. Cold tukey on me. I got dumped and it hurt. Still does. Being I am about to graduate from school and head off to Africa for 2 years in the Peace Corp (mid January)... I reluctantly I understand why she broke up with me. We decided before making us "official" that we would have to break up before I head off. Well, I am guessing that when one enters the relationship and knowing there is a time frame, defenses could be triggered... in her case, I am thinking they were. She said we weren't growing... weird, because again! no signs... As I said, it hurt bad. I am still hurting. The unfortunate aspect is the fact we work together on campus. I want no contact. She does not believe in it. She has told me that in the past, she has had good breakups and her exs have stayed in touch. Well, to hell with that for the time being. I tried being her friend after the breakup... it's too damn hard...she is the one who went hot to cold, not me! I want my distance from her. She has had to time to get over me... I need time to get over her. thereforeeee, I am avoiding her as much humanly possible. Is that okay to do? Am I going about the situation in the correct manner? I want to be over her! I want to meet new people. Oh and I do meet new people all the time... never had problems with meeting new girls... the problem is, if I stay in touch with the ex...my wounds shall be re-opened... and my future relationships will be hijacked. At the risk of being repetitive, am I going about my business in the correct manner? By avoiding her, to let me heal ... is this right? Any suggestions or feedback would be appreciated! Out.

We started talking in the beginning of September and dated till December. In December, we decided to make it official. Fast forward today... we have both admitted we never fight or argue and have loads of fun. Problem though. We both knew entering our relationship that I am graduating from our university in May and she would be returning home (5 hours away) and returning for her senior year at college. I am also heading off to the Peace Corp for two years. Yet when we entered our relationship, we decided to have fun and not worry about the future. Unf., the future has caught up. She recently broke up with me out of the clear blue. No signs or signals. She said that the sparks have died down and she thinks it's most likely because of the fact I will be leaving the country very soon and her heart could not open up as it could. How about that as a bruise for me heart? I knew it was coming, it was the ineviatble breakup. Even though I knew we would have to break up, it still hurts like hell. Funny thing is, we both entered the relationship knowing it would not last, yet as fools, we rushed in. Now, I am dealing with the first week of being broken up. I know not to make contact with her. Hard to do when I work with her! I know that life goes on and others will come around. I have never had a problem with meeting new girls. What sucks hard is the initial getting over someone phase. You know, the 'I wish I could fast-forward 2 months' so I can be over the harshest of grief. Ironic how some relationships work. Sometimes we know in our hearts it's not going to last, yet we go ahead anyway. I wonder if it's just being human? Well, here I go again (third time), time to get over someone and bounce back. Seriously, does someone have a time machine I could borrow? : )