smackie9

He did cheat that weekend IMO. Like I said...coward. And to breakup over text speaks volumes.

You got me at "he will comment how sexy other girls are". He's not worth it hun. let him go.

When they do a 180, it usually means they have cheated. I say he's just being a coward. When the excuses become long and complex, they are trying to make their lies convincing.

I understand you don't want to be like him and "abandon" him. He's not an innocent child. He's a grown man that refuses to be a normal loving father/human being. There's a difference right? Standing up for yourself, having the self worth to say no to him is the most healthiest, and one of the biggest steps towards healing you could ever take.

I had a BF that didn't want to hear me that I never wanted kids...he begged and begged. I ended up dumping him. I recommend you do the same.

In order for a reconciliation to happen is for him to own all of it. He has not. He just can't, so this is on him to feel the guilt because he lost his chance. Your older brother is the one you should talk to...dump it all on him. He needs to really know the emotional torture you are still going through, and you simply cannot do this anymore. It can't happen.

Ya keep him out of your life. He didn't raise you like a father should, he's still a jerk, and you don't get any benefit from seeing him again. Tell him thanks, but no thanks, and not to contact you again. Seriously you don't need him in your life.

I don't think you are anywhere near ready to offer her the life she is looking for. She had expectations, and even now you can't fulfill them. So you better turn around and go back to the drawing board, get yourself into better shape, mentally, and financially. You can go get some more retraining or decide on another career and stay focused on that.

Most people have one or two drinks to loosen up. Not get all sloppy drunk, just enough to feel comfortable. Kinda like just share a bottle of wine, nice conversation over dinner, then go for a romantic walk. Just make sure everyone takes an Uber.

Be careful about when you show how much you care about her...if she gets insecure, and you go on and smother her with love, you actually reward the insecurity. That's what I meant about enabling. You need to let her know it's unacceptable.

You do nothing. If you keep trying to smooth things over all you are doing is enabling her insecurities. You already answered her questions, and now the rest is up to her. Just ignore it and go about your business. She needs to grow up and work through this on her own. If she can't you need to reassess your relationship.

All the right reason to not date this guy. It's not working out, and should have never started. Time to cut your losses.

This is the very reason why I didn't date guys I went to school with. Well I made one exception and it was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. Date guys from different schools other than your own...like always. And never go sniffing around ex BF's friends.

You need to have that conversation with him. Let him know that it's ok for him to go out and do stuff, but it's not ok the way he's been acting lately towards you. If he doesn't want to address things and make a few compromises, then you may have to get serious and breakup.

He's on the fence about your relationship. Guilt, attachment, attracted to another possibly giving him doubts, being a coward. Sounds like he's distancing himself on purpose..to ease himself out of it. He's just not ready to let go just yet. Instead he's testing the waters, and making sure he's making the right decision. He may not admit it to you but that will come in time.

The common denominator is you. What have you done in those 6 years to enhance your life? New interests/activities? Social life/meeting new people? Self reflection/ self improvement? Pull up your boot straps and get at'er.

None of your options are any good. Keep looking.

The transition will be tough in the coming months BUT, you definitely will feel pretty good about your decision. TBH I wouldn't want to expose my daughter to a manipulative partner. Kids are impressionable, and you don't want your daughter and unborn child to think that this is ok behavior, or that it's normal/acceptable. Standing up for yourself, and gaining your independence is what you want to impose on your children. Counseling is needed. Seek out a therapist, you can do safe online sessions. Be strong, and move on.

Yes the smiling this does work. I did an experiment one day and went shopping at a smaller grocery store. I walked around the store smiling away, and guys noticed, some checked me out, some kinda followed. One guy that had horrible anxiety, walked by quickly and said hi. I say that smiling lots is an impressive tool.

Ask her to marry you.

Maybe he has this idea women that make a move can't be trusted. At any rate, whatever his deal is, you dodged a bullet.

Might be a good idea to talk to a psychologist about this.

Sounds like a breakup is long overdue here.

It's just a phone plan....it will run out eventually and he will have to get his own. Some people don't want to pay the penalty breaking the contract or it's just a pain to take care of it. It is what it is.

IMO he didn't perform his role in your marriage. He totally stepped out on you and the kids. Yes it's alcohol related...he's gone down that alcoholic road and is making horrible life choices. I come from a family of alcoholics and what I see he's not in his right mind. Lost his way? Sure but never the less, you have more important things to do and that's getting a lawyer. His situation is not yours to fix, nor is it you to be blamed. This is the worst type of behavior, and he deserves to be served with divorced papers.