SeaninSeattle

You'll be fine - what you're feeling is completely normal. If you were not somewhat sad to be finishing school, I would think you were abnormal. The ending of such an event is always sad - I still remember driving out to the freeway (to head home) after finishing my degree - and how sad I was. Look at this as 'the next chapter' in your life. You've done well - chosen a good major, gotten a good job - believe me, you're miles ahead of most people. You'll have a blast. Congrats and Good Luck! //sse

What most people are saying is correct - many/most people have no idea what they wish to do when they 'grow up'. Those around you, the young people, I mean, often choose something, and then put that label on themselves so they can show the world that they've 'decided'. One other thing - you'll change as you get older - and your ideas about the world and your place it in will change as well (this in itself is a very GOOD argument against tattoos - you'll change, but that mark on your body will still be there...). Even if you had very clear ideas of what you wanted to do now, they would very likely change in the future. I had friends in college who were 'sure' of where they were going - only to have a mid-life crisis later on - and go to something totally different. I'm 42 now - an age I could never see myself at 'that age'. My father (a very successful cardiac surgeon) used to tell me that if I could not figured out what I wanted to do by the time I was 40, I would be in real trouble. When I turned 40, it was kind of a relief - I just said '...Oh well, I guess by his standards, I'm in trouble... Now I can figure out what to do with the remainder of my life...' None of this is to say that you should just blow it all off and party, however. I was in a fraternity in college - and spent most of my time chasing girls and keg parties - time that now (as a 42 year old) I see as not 'wasted' but - also 'not very smartly spent'. You should have a good time while you're in school - but also be aware that you're configuring your skill sets for when you hit the work world - and as such, you need to load yourself with the best possible tools you can. Once you get out here, no one really cares about you or what you do (occupationally) anymore (like they do when you're in school). So - what to do? Well, try starting out by going to your career counseling center. Take an 'Interest Survey' test - a very long, boring test, which will tell you where your interests are. I had a fraternity brother who took this test, and one of the things it told him was to consider being a funeral director. We all laughed at that - but you know what? Today he owns one of the largest funeral home chains in FL - and he's worth millions. Second - determine what your strengths are - with respect to your intellect. You should consider arming yourself with VERY BASIC VALUABLE skills that most kids shy away from. This means things like math, engineering, medicine, etc. Consider this your opportunity to learn skills that YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FEED YOURSELF WITH AFTER GRADUATION. If you want finance, etc - then do it as an MBA - you'll be worth MUCH more. Basic skills first - more specific second. Basic, non-sexy skills are the way to go as an undergrad. The world is full of poli-sci majors who work for fast food restaurants - and believe me - I know - I was a 'communications' major - my first job after graduation was as a bank teller in San Francisco! Talk about a rude awakening.... Anyhow - that's my rant. You'll be ok - try not to stress. Just don't waste tons of time doing nothing either. You'll find that life goes by VERY FAST. Before you know it, you'll be 42 like me - wondering where it all went. Good luck - //sse

That's an interesting story - and I'm going to print his reply to you and put it on my refrigerator as a reminder to myself. After 10.5 years with the same company - founded and headed two departments - was very successful. Then, after overhauling the company (IT and infrastructure) - expanding their capacity - automating their procedures, and providing them the horsepower to kick their sales up from $18m to $25m (in five years) - the (new) owner decided to outsource everything - and I'm out of a job. Like you, I was done in by someone I helped to get promoted. He was a nice guy when I made the recommendation - but when he got the power, he turned into a little Nazi and started goose-stepping everywhere - stabbing people in the back, plotting, etc! As the person largely responsible for the turnaround of the company - I ignored him - thinking that no one could possibly take him seriously - I mean, you can see right through this guy's act - but, I was wrong. The few other smart people saw what was coming and split (and told me to go too) - like you, I had been there too long - and felt 'attached' to the company (yeeeech!)... Its ok, though - like what's been said before - I view this more as an opportunity to change my life than to look back that the group I left (and I disagree about burning bridges - don't burn ANY bridges - ever!). For one thing, I sleep much better now - my girlfriend says that I'm nicer - more calm - and I can actually *think* about what it is I wish to do. What's interesting is that I want to leave IT all together - and go into a new career - one that I'll have to go back for a (second) master's degree. But - the long-term (and I mean LONG TERM - like 7+ years from now) I'll be in good shape - doing something I really like. The other fellow was correct when he said that time is your enemy now - but ONLY in the respect that you allow it to hold you back. If you don't care about being 'older' and reaching your goal - then who cares! As for me - I would rather have my own small company when I'm 50 (I'm 42 now) than be working for someone else again who can screw with my life like this.... Forget about the losers you left behind - they're not worth another second of worry. Take the advice, though - and get in gear - and don't waste a second. Good luck! //sse

Hey Stuckwiflife - I've only had one period in my life where I was sleeping to avoid depression (ie - that the depression was so bad, that it was only when I was asleep I was 'happy'). At that time, I was unemployed, my girlfriend dumped me and I had only one friend - who was not returning my calls. But you know what happened? I ended up getting a job I could tolerate long enough to get myself into graduate school - and worked for 10.5 years for a company that had me travel around the world, and rebuild their infrastructure - learing new IT skills on the way (yes, I know it's a run-on sentence...). Then I owned a 35 foot sailboat, dated a bunch of nice women - and things looked great.... Until July - when my boss decided to outsource all our IT assets to another firm - and I lost my job. Now I'm stuck trying to look for a new one (and I don't want to go back to IT as there is a huge slump here at the moment - but where I wish to go - urban planning - I also have no/little experience at) - and I'm getting depressed (hence coming to this board). My point is this: You DO NOT KNOW what will happen next - good or bad. Consider yourself in a dark room - looking for the light switch. You can get angry, depressed, upset, etc -- but the point is that you KNOW the switch is there - you just have to find it. So is your life right now - you just have to hang on, and believe that you'll come accross happier days again. Believe me - I only have 4 weeks of unemployment benefits left before I'm in real trouble - so I have to take the same advice. Also - I want to thank you - for I had forgotten about those days so long ago (it actually brings a tear to my eye when I think of how I felt then). I just need to look back at all the good times since, to realize that there are good times ahead also. Just do what I do when you're annoyed/worried - just shrug, smile and say "...One day this will all seem funny...". It's true - it will - I promise. Good luck - //sse