hurtandlonely

hurtandlonely Novice Gender: Age: 22 Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Nottingham, UK I got together with my ex-girlfriend at the end of August 2002. It was magical. 2 weeks later she went away on holiday with a friend for a week and told me she had kissed someone else, but really regretted it and thought she might be in love with me. She came back and things went from strength to strength. At the end of september she went off to university which I was a little scared about because I didn't think we would last. But she used to phone me up crying down the phone how she missed me so much and loved me so much, as I did her. Then in early November time a friend of her's at university invited a friend to stay with him at university, and he and my ex got on, too well... She then came back home for a week and we almost split up, for reasons I didn't really know at the time. But she was deciding who she wanted... He then went to Austrialia for a year, so carried on out relationship. Then in the January I found out they have been secretly texting and e-mailing each other, and it was little more than just two friends talking. And I kept asking her what was going on with this person, but she said they were just friends. I couldn't understand that as they had only seen each other twice on nights out. Believing her I just put it down to me being over protective. The next week I found out she, with 2 other uni friends, wanted to share a house with him in her second year at uni. I was deeply troubled by this. But she swore that nothing was going on and i should stop being silly. The following months I fell more and more in love with her. It was amazing. I had never been happier. We went away for valentines weekend, we went on holiday for 2 weeks in July. Life was amazing. September came around she went back to university. On that day everything starting going weird between us. When I phoned her it was like she couldn't be bothered to talk to me. She didn't reply to texts, and when she did they were like they were from someone else, with no thought or feeling. 3 weeks into her term I drove down to see her (100 miles) and picked her up from a house party late on friday night. After we got back to her house she told me how she wanted to go on a break for 3 weeks because she didn't know whether she still loved me. I was destroyed. It felt like my heart was ripped out through my chest. I asked her if it had anything to do with this other bloke she was living with, but she said no. And even worse I had to spend the night with her, in her bed. I spent the whole night crying my eyes out, laying next to her. I must have had about 2 hours sleep. The following morning I left and drove back home. When we both said goodbye to each other we were in floods of tears. I kissed her and left. The following week I sent her 2 letters telling her how I felt and 12 red roses begging her to have me back. But on the 1st Wednesday she told me that it was over. I have never been so hurt in my life. 5 weeks later she tells me that 2 weeks after we had broken up she had starting sleeping with this ohter bloke she is living with, but hadn't done the follwing week. She sounded really upset telling me all this on the phone so I asked her to get the train and come see me thinking that we might get back together. But no... After 2 hours of being with her I put her back on the train. SHe had told me that there was nothing between us and that it was over between her and this other bloke. A few more weeks went by. She sent the odd e-mail saying how she regretted what's happened, how she never thought it would be this hard... which lead me to believe something was still there between us. January 2004 came. I wanted to see if she was seeing someone else so texted her bluffing that I knew she had a new boyfriend. She said she had, but that it wasnt the guy she was living with. She even gave his name as Jade!! I decided that I needed her out of my life for a few months to really get over her. So the second week in Jan we met up and swapped back things we had of each others. It took less than a minute. Hardly anything was said. Then last night, still knowing her e-mail account password, thought I would check up on her. And what did I find... an e-mail with her referring to this guy she lives with as her boyfriend! I was fuming! I was shaking with rage. So I sent her some very harsh text messages and that I never want to see her again. The problem is I can't look forward to anything anymore. Nothing excites me. I can't do everyday things without being reminded of her. I'm going out of my head. I feel so hurt, cheated and lied to. Love hurts so so much. How can I sort my life out and get back on track without her being in my head?

I'm sorry to here what's happened. I have had a similar experience with my ex. link removed Read my story so you understand about the guy she is now with. All I can say is that, as hard as it maybe, is that it wasn't meant to be. I know it hurts like hell. It's been almost 17 weeks since we broke up. Although it's getting easier to deal with and life is starting to feel normal again it still hurts. If she stil has feelings for you then let her find that out for herself. If you keep phoning her etc... it will just push her further away and then it will be too late to save what you had. My only advice is to break contact for a month or so. Not meeting up, no phone calls etc. If she is still in love with you she will realise this because she will miss you. Hang in there mate. And I know everyone probably keeps saying this to you, but time is the only healer. Learn from your experiences, and then you have to move on. I know the feeling that no one even compares to her and she was perfect, I felt that way too. But it's not the case. If she was perfect then all this wouldn't be happening. I'm still in love with my ex, but I am moving on, slowly. Adam

A piece of information has served me well... Always give someone a second chance, but never a third... Do what you feel is right, but don't just listen to your heart, listen to your head as well Adam

My gf broke up with me in october. It took me 3 months to realise that I had to break off contact with her for a month or so. It's the only way, trust me. The thoughts and memories will still be there, but the pain will fade, slowly. I promise. It has got easier for me, until last night when I found out my ex had been cheating on me and lying to me about a week before we broke up with someone who she said there was nothign going on. Stay strong and hold in there. If you ever feel like a cry don't hold back, just let it all out. It does help. Adam

I got together with my ex-girlfriend at the end of August 2002. It was magical. 2 weeks later she went away on holiday with a friend for a week and told me she had kissed someone else, but really regretted it and thought she might be in love with me. She came back and things went from strength to strength. At the end of september she went off to university which I was a little scared about because I didn't think we would last. But she used to phone me up crying down the phone how she missed me so much and loved me so much, as I did her. Then in early November time a friend of her's at university invited a friend to stay with him at university, and he and my ex got on, too well... She then came back home for a week and we almost split up, for reasons I didn't really know at the time. But she was deciding who she wanted... He then went to Austrialia for a year, so carried on out relationship. Then in the January I found out they have been secretly texting and e-mailing each other, and it was little more than just two friends talking. And I kept asking her what was going on with this person, but she said they were just friends. I couldn't understand that as they had only seen each other twice on nights out. Believing her I just put it down to me being over protective. The next week I found out she, with 2 other uni friends, wanted to share a house with him in her second year at uni. I was deeply troubled by this. But she swore that nothing was going on and i should stop being silly. The following months I fell more and more in love with her. It was amazing. I had never been happier. We went away for valentines weekend, we went on holiday for 2 weeks in July. Life was amazing. September came around she went back to university. On that day everything starting going weird between us. When I phoned her it was like she couldn't be bothered to talk to me. She didn't reply to texts, and when she did they were like they were from someone else, with no thought or feeling. 3 weeks into her term I drove down to see her (100 miles) and picked her up from a house party late on friday night. After we got back to her house she told me how she wanted to go on a break for 3 weeks because she didn't know whether she still loved me. I was destroyed. It felt like my heart was ripped out through my chest. I asked her if it had anything to do with this other bloke she was living with, but she said no. And even worse I had to spend the night with her, in her bed. I spent the whole night crying my eyes out, laying next to her. I must have had about 2 hours sleep. The following morning I left and drove back home. When we both said goodbye to each other we were in floods of tears. I kissed her and left. The following week I sent her 2 letters telling her how I felt and 12 red roses begging her to have me back. But on the 1st Wednesday she told me that it was over. I have never been so hurt in my life. 5 weeks later she tells me that 2 weeks after we had broken up she had starting sleeping with this ohter bloke she is living with, but hadn't done the follwing week. She sounded really upset telling me all this on the phone so I asked her to get the train and come see me thinking that we might get back together. But no... After 2 hours of being with her I put her back on the train. SHe had told me that there was nothing between us and that it was over between her and this other bloke. A few more weeks went by. She sent the odd e-mail saying how she regretted what's happened, how she never thought it would be this hard... which lead me to believe something was still there between us. January 2004 came. I wanted to see if she was seeing someone else so texted her bluffing that I knew she had a new boyfriend. She said she had, but that it wasnt the guy she was living with. She even gave his name as Jade!! I decided that I needed her out of my life for a few months to really get over her. So the second week in Jan we met up and swapped back things we had of each others. It took less than a minute. Hardly anything was said. Then last night, still knowing her e-mail account password, thought I would check up on her. And what did I find... an e-mail with her referring to this guy she lives with as her boyfriend! I was fuming! I was shaking with rage. So I sent her some very harsh text messages and that I never want to see her again. The problem is I can't look forward to anything anymore. Nothing excites me. I can't do everyday things without being reminded of her. I'm going out of my head. I feel so hurt, cheated and lied to. Love hurts so so much. How can I sort my life out and get back on track without her being in my head?