notalady
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Everything posted by notalady
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I'm just curious what are the things he ask permission or apologise for? Like on the phone for example?
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Yep definitely
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Yea the unnecessary asking for permission and apologising is definitely not good
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Did he do this before as well?
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That sounds positive!
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Sounds like a lovely date!
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I think just take it one day at a time. I don't think bring wowed right away is a good thing. Letting things build up is way better so just "interested" sounds like a good start!
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Haha...I sure hope that happened in the 1960s
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I'm just thinking if his message said something like "call/text me on xxx xxx xxx" then I wouldn't mind making the move first, but since he didn't, I agree, just do nothing lol..
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What did he say what he offered his number?
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I hope you have a good time anyway
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Hope you get there soon
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It's hard not to give a reaction once you decide to engage. It still pisses me off when Z contacts me, everything he said in his emails/messages made me angry, which is why I thought I really don't need this in my life, I needed to stop this completely. I can understand the temptation of showing him the error of his ways, I think as a way of seeking closure/peace, ie if he realises how wrong his behaviour was, maybe then you'll feel at peace and can move on. But you know that will never happen. The only person who can help you work through that anger/frustration and give you that peace is yourself.
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Reinvent, I was mad at you too reading this Jokes aside, it has long past the time of cutting him off completely (blocking etc), but better late than never. Why are you still trying to reason with him, he clearly doesn't understand, if he did you wouldn't had split up in the first place. It's no longer your job to explain to him how it works or why you broke up or even calling him out on his bs, it's none of your business anymore. Also big mistake thinking you could be friends. Taking a step back, did you really want to be friends with a passive aggressive person like that? Z sent me 3 messages/emails, after breaking up, about one a month, first suggesting friendship, and soon revealing his true intention to ask for another chance, second contact was similar, except this time he tried to guilt me about not having wished him happy birthday, I really wanted to defend myself and explain why on earth would I do that when we've broken up? But I didn't, I just blocked him on message. Third time, long email asking for another chance and asked me to let him know if I had "fully moved on", as if the silence for the last 3 months didn't speak for itself. Each time, despite how much I wanted to call him out on how manipulative and dishonest he is, how little respect I had left for him and tell him how it would never work and things would never change (since he promised change), I simply responded with "thanks for your email, I don't want to try again. And prefer to not keep in touch with an ex. All the best." It was no longer my business whether he understands anything about anything. I didn't block him on email before but I've done that too after the last contact. I really don't need to get all riled up whenever he decides to throw an email my way. And now I am at peace, knowing I'll likely never hear from him again. I think you need to give yourself that peace, by cutting him out of your life completely.
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Z was the same. Generous with material things but soon you realise that he couldn't give what was emotionally required in a relationship.
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And he will tell his next girlfriend "my last relationship ended because my ex was afraid of marriage and commitment." And she would feel bad for him. Goes to show you should always take what someone tells you about their past relationship with a big grain of salt, there's two sides to every story and you're only hearing one (which may not be factual at all).
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Hahahaha!!! Classic response in the end.
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I think it just reinforces the fact that you made the right decision and have no reason to keep him in your life in any capacity.
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Wait so you met with M to get the tickets and he agreed, but later decided he didn't want to sell it to you? What?
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That's totally fine, just putting yourself out there. Even if you don't feel like communicating with anyone yet. Even I found the lack of potentials a bit depressing as I got back on there when I broke up with Z. I saw a lot of the same old people that are still there from a year or two ago, some of whom I had previously messaged and never responded! Lol... I think I just got really lucky that J happened to just join the site (new blood) about the same time I went back on and decided to message me. I think how well OKC works depends on your location and demographics. Perhaps because it caters/appeals to a younger crowd, so if you are a bit older, you might get more contact from a specific group of younger guys (those looking for a "cougar"). Why don't you just dip your toes in on there and when you feel ready, join a paid site where maybe more serious guys around your age might more likely be? Btw where did you meet M again?
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What's been happening reinventmyself? Haven't seen an update from you in ages!
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Z said many many times during the break up that he "wouldn't bother me anymore" yet continued to do so. Or saying things like "I deserve this, I know I hurt you and won't ask for a second chance" only to proceed to do so. Yes it's all manipulation (even if it is subconscious, because that's who they are). M may not have met anyone, simply don't want to be on the OLD site anymore. Or is trying to mess with you, if he knows you had or would visit his page. Even if he is seeing someone new, imagine how healthy that relationship is gonna be, he's still hassling his ex to get back together while probably expressing how much he's into the new person. Switch it around and think about how you'd feel if you just met him (or someone else) that seems overly into you at the start and is actually still trying to get back together with his ex behind your back. What a catch he is. Also read your negatives list again and again to remind yourself why you broke up with him. Everytime you have a doubt, read it.
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That's a good list reinventmyself. Looks like the negatives outweigh the positives by a long way. Actually just a couple of these would've been deal breakers lol..
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What kind of phone do you have? If you have an iPhone, you can block people on your phone, so you don't receive the texts at all.
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Exactly! Things will only get better because you are learning and applying what you learned all the time! I feel like I have learned so much after dating Z and much more in-tune with my instincts to not only identify red flags, but follow it. Of course I paid for it with 6 months of my time and pain but it's well worth it to me. That means I only wasted 6 months rather than years if I hadn't learned this and married the wrong guy. I see your experience the same way