notalady
-
Posts
3,928 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by notalady
-
About G, I must admit I have used photos I had taken with my ex in my profile before because I looked good in it haha, with him completely cropped out of course. I know how it would feel if he was to see the picture, actually I did see a picture that I had taken for him previously on his profile, it's not a pleasant feeling. But logically it's understandable that now you have nothing to do with each other and it's their photo, they can do whatever they want with it and it's not to be taken personally or interpreted as a sign of disrespect. So it's better to just not look haha..
-
I think most people have a bit of both, but if one is really good at one of those things, they're probably not so good at the other. I'm often attracted to guys who are extremely smart (mostly book smart), soft but well spoken, perhaps a little pretentious and slightly arrogant. But after dating a few, I'm not so sure that that's the type of guy I want to be with for the rest of my life? I felt like I can't be myself around them as much, because I'm kind of the opposite (not that I'm not smart and I probably only like them because they are different to me? It's annoying but there's always a trade-off haha...why can't we meet the most intelligent, book smart, down to earth, most perfect guy ever?
-
I agree with "there's always something", so you need to know what you can and can't live with/accept. What do you mean when you talk about intelligence factor? And what kinds of intellectual discussions are you looking to have that you think he won't deliver? Other than not knowing the word 'mundane', which admittedly did surprise me lol As you probably already read in my journal, my ex was super intelligent and can talk non-stop about science, religion, politics, and he was very opinionated, those things attracted me to him at first and it was awesome to have those conversations once in a while, but not all the time. So the fact that he is far too serious and opinionated and those things are really all that he wanted to talk about didn't work well for me, and he didn't want to talk about everyday mundane things and I did. It just didn't work (not the primary reason for break up of course). So you are absolutely right when you say there is always something and you need to know your must-haves and deal breakers.
-
Does he go to that station as well or did he specifically went there to find your car to leave the rose? Lol... Sounds like he's trying too hard to impress, and might push you away more if he keeps this up (and with the title thing. Hopefully he has taken what you said into account and won't push for the title more).
-
Congrats on the progress with Mark!! Good to hear he's stepped up his game and came out of his shell hehe... There is no set time for the bf/gf status, I feel like whenever you feel comfortable with that title, is the right time. If that is not now then wait on it. I agreed to bf/gf status after one and half months haha... So all up to how you feel about it! As for Steve, I think it's best to actually clarify with him that you are not interested in anything more than friends, as I feel like there is a miscommunication there and he thinks he still has a chance with you (even if it is just to get laid). Or simply tell him you are seeing someone exclusively, that way he knows not to try anything next time.
-
The texting thing isn't such a bad thing to me. Maybe I'm just on the insensitive/inconsiderate side lol, but I probably wouldn't have given it much thought either if I was to text my date even if I knew they were with people (or at work), as I don't expect a response right away or any time soon knowing they are with people or busy, and I kind of assume they wouldn't respond if they are busy, so it's just sort of a message sitting there for them read and reply to whenever they see fit (like an email). I do understand though if the other person feel "obligated" or courteous to respond quickly whenever they get a message and would probably feel disrupted in that case. As for friend Steve, why are you friends if he keeps trying to sleep with you
-
Good to hear he's opening up!
-
Yea I'm not feeling this one.. Better let it go!
-
Yea I don't think you can fix a bad kisser, I actually asked a few of my friends who have not-so-good-kisser partners when I was seeing the octopus guy (lol because he was such a nice guy I really wanted to like him, and they said they tried to "teach" them but it doesn't work. After that I had one more date (third date) with octopus guy to give it one more shot, it didn't work so I gave up. I do think though if it's just difference in kissing style or first (few) date nerves, it can be adapted/worked on. I think it's worth giving it a few more dates and actually telling him this, if it doesn't work, no harm done. I actually find it a good opportunity to "test" how receptive the guy is to constructive criticism / feedback. I would want to find out this early as I wouldn't want to date someone with a big ego or get defensive/offended with constructive criticism and simple honesty like that, it is often a symptom of low-ish self esteem, lack of confidence and insecurity (as seen in a number of guys I dated in the past).
-
Just tell him you prefer less tongue next time and see if it makes any difference.
-
I would bring it up with him, just gently. See if he changes or you two get used to each other. I've had to give a number of people I went on dates with (that I was serious about seeing where it goes) gentle hints of what I preferred or what wasn't working for me, such as saying "just a bit less tongue" while kissing, instead of bringing it up like a formal/serious thing some other time. They all took it well, it was interesting though only one (current bf) actually improved, and it was because he was a bit nervous/not as relaxed the first few times, once I pointed it out, he got back to his usual kissing style and it was all good. Other guys though, one changed a little bit and it didn't bother me that much to begin with so we both adapted to each others style. The other one was actually bad (think octopus on your face), I tried it twice, gave him hints both times, he did it better for like 10 seconds then reverted back to his normal style, I literally just wanted it to end while we were kissing lol! Needless to say I had to drop him.
-
I can see how the apology was unattractive, went on a second date with a guy once who wouldn't stop apologising for various things (including his shoes! Which I didn't even notice until he said it and it looked fine!) so unattractive. The date got so bad I just wanted to get out of there, the upside was it makes for a funny story. I also think the cuddle thing was cute and that he asked if you were in fact ok with it, I think it's considerate. How was he to know you weren't just being polite and just silently lying there in discomfort? Especially when you insisted on just sleeping in the same room, no sex, I think he may not know whether you would be comfortable with any physical touching at all or where you draw the line between ok and not ok? Assertiveness is good but I think focusing too much on it and you rob yourself the opportunity to potentially meet someone great but are initially a bit shy or awkward. I think give it at least a few dates and see if it gets better. My current bf was awkward during the first few dates, he actually told me beforehand that he's shy when it comes to initial dating and not good with dating in general (but good with relationships). Lucky for him I knew him before we dated so I knew he was assertive and confident otherwise, and thought it was adorable that I made him nervous haha...
-
Another dating journal! I love dating journals haha will be following yourself intently About T, I just wanted to add that a year ago when I first became single, I met a nice guy online, I wasn't attracted to him and didn't think he was LTR potential for me, but we got along really well and we "dated" for 2.5 months, which basically just consist of going out to dinner once or twice a week and exploring different cool restaurants, occasionally a movie (we split 50-50 for majority of the time). It was fun and I also consider him a friend more so than a date. He never made a move either so I assumed he wasn't interested in dating me either. I never had the urge to clarify things so to speak since I wasn't interested in anything more than good company. All of this is to say I can understand why you do it for as long as you have haha... But I guess if you do (even subconsciously) want more with him, maybe it's time to make a decision.